Most people will have a certain movie or set of movies that mean Christmas to them.  “It’s a Wonderful Life” is one example.  You can probably think of many others sifting through the channel listings this month.  Hell, some young people are growing up now with those Hallmark movies that scotchnaut is bravely watching and sacrificing his sanity for us.

/shudders

I have three movies that mean Christmas to me and I want to share them with you.  You probably already know them and have watched them, but I wanted to write a post extolling their virtues and encouraging others to watch and adopt them as their own.  Let’s begin!  In no particular order:

DIe Hard

The original.  The classic.  The best.  John McClane vs Hans Gruber at the Nakatomi Plaza during Christmastime in West LA.   This movie came out right after l graduated from high school (fuck I’m old!).  To this day, I still refer to that building along Avenue of the Stars right off Olympic in Century City as the Nakatomi building.

It starts off by capturing LA Christmas very well as the weather is nice and normal and people at work are in the holiday party mood.  Hardly any work is happening, but there are some Type A assholes such as John’s bitchy ex-wife that are trying to get stuff done.   Ok, seriously, who the fuck does that?  The month of December is a waste of time work-wise.  Specially here in LA where the weather is nice and there are parties to go to.

John makes mistake #1 by coming out to LA from New York to try to rekindle the romance with his ex.  That’s just all kinds of stupid.   She took back her last name, John, get the fuck over it.  But nah, he tries and he’s stuck waiting for her when SHIT GOES DOWN.   Hans Gruber and his pals have their eyes set on …. something.  Honestly, it’s been so long that I don’t even remember what they wanted in the first place.  I don’t think it was money.  Plans?  That doesn’t seem right.  Bearer bonds?  Maybe.  When in doubt, go with bearer bonds.

Many of you know the rest of the story.  John kicks ass, outsmarts Hans, makes wise-cracks for 90 minutes, and then makes mistake #2 and gets together with his ex-wife.  He will make this same mistake in the next two movies until she finally disappears from the picture in the fourth movie.  Seriously, Bonnie Bedelia’s Holly is the most annoying thing about this entire series.

My own personal highlights:

The dad from Family Matters plays the LA cop that helps John out during the whole night.  Young Balls found it very confusing that this movie was not set in Chicago and that Urkel was nowhere to be found.

So many quotes have come from this movie.  I don’t need to repeat them, but you probably either know them by heart or have heard people say them out of context.

Alan Motherfucking Rickman just owns this movie and his role as Hans.  Honestly, there were many times where I wanted Hans to get away with it.  Just to piss off Holly.

Overall impression:

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

A quintessential LA movie set during Christmastime.  This one may be a bit more obscure and some of you may not know about this one.  Let me see if I can get you interested.  This movie features:

Puffy-faced Fat Val Kilmer

A pre-Iron Man and fresh off the drugs Robert Downey Jr.

I’ve always loved movies that break the fourth wall.  This one does it in a great way.  I don’t want to describe it too much because it’s such a fun trip going through it and figuring stuff out the first time.  It is very sarcastically funny in a smart ass way, which I think everyone here would appreciate.  Finally, it just gets LA so right.  If you’ve wondered what LA is really like, watch this movie.

To illustrate to you how great this movie is, let me show you this:

That is the best description of LA girls I have ever heard in my entire life.  It is absolutely 100% true.

It’s a love story, it’s a thriller, it’s a comedy.  It’s a lot of things and it’s really well done.  Robert Downey Jr. has said it’s probably the best work he’s ever done.  You MUST watch it.

Friday After Next

If this opening scene doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit, I don’t know what is wrong with you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-vp0nEFi2A

So, Craig and Day Day are now back living in South Central (sorry, South LA) and the family has collaborated on a new family business:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnFkGFfIhNM

That scene cracks me up every damn time.

The plot revolves around the boys trying to find part-time jobs in order to pay their rent at their new apartment.  Hi-jinks ensue and they end up having a party to try to raise the rent.  As you saw in the opening credits, this is pretty much an all-star cast.  This one is probably my favorite one of all the Friday movies.  It’s not as heavy on the pot humor, but focuses more on the family, Craig and Day Day, and life in the hood.  Having spent much time in South LA, I think it gets a lot of things right. Plus, how can you go wrong with

and

and who can forget

My verdict:

These movies are just a reflection of what I like, but I have a weird sense of humor.  I will be watching all of these on the weekend before Christmas.  Feel free to share your favorite Christmas movies in the comments.