Your “Finally!” And “It’s All Over After This?!” Super Bowl Open Thread

Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.

Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.

It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.

What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!

So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…

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Beerguyrob

Who wants to call into WEEI after the game?

Horatio Cornblower

There’s no point; they hang up on anyone who calls in and disagrees with them.

The Mighty Feklahr
Sill Bimmons

STRONG

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh yeah, apparently this site doesn’t like imgur…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Pictured: Von Miller in his previous lifetime.

http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/30241/623110-darkseid.jpg

Old School Zero

HOORAY MANNING’S GONNA RETIRE WOOOOOO

King Hippo

Wade and palz made Brady look every bit as bad until both safeties left the game injured.

Sill Bimmons
WCS

Congrats Hippo, make it snow, Moonbatting, whomever the shit else.

makeitsnowondem

Thank you, sir.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup! The best part is that Peyton played like shit.

Beerguyrob

And that defence is the MVP.

King Hippo

He’s been very honest and upfront about it, says every game that the defense is incredible and he’s just happy to be a small part of such a great team.

King Hippo

Thanks, man. Tis a happy day.

Doktor Zymm

I’m damn happy I’m up to date on my birth control cause there’s gonna be old, white sportswriter jizz all over the place for DAYS

blaxabbath

“Me too.”

-Guy from Queen

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

“Queens”

/fixed

WhyEaglesWhy

It’s going to smell like Cheetos and bleach everywhere.

Brocky

So many white people feel so vindicated right now

Unsurprised

Over/Under that Eli is suiting up for Carolina?

Shogun Marcus

In…sur…mount…able?

theeWeeBabySeamus

y.u.p.

So was there a Super Bowl was more poor QB play?

WhyEaglesWhy

Maybe Trent Dilfer/Kerry Collins?

Horatio Cornblower

That Cowboys-Colts one, (V? I think?), that ended 16-13?

Recovery Whiskey

Tony Eason v the Bears

Sill Bimmons

welp

The Mighty Feklahr

*a sudden spike in neutron radiation is detected*
**A red hue outlines the arrival of the great spaceship heap IKC Grethor!**

Qapla, forshak-hut dwelling yIntaghs! It is He, The Mighty Feklahr. How the hell are you doin’, boys?

Uncle Fekky would have been here sooner but He was busy winning a Superbowl Chili Cook Off at the Deadwood bar in Iowa City. Guy’cha!

*end transmission*

The Maestro

HI FEK

HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A FUN NIGHT FILLED WITH LOTS OF WONDERFUL TRANNY PORN

WE MISSED YOU

JerBear50

Holy shit. Hello.

ballsofsteelandfury

FEK! We’ve missed you!

Senor Weaselo

It’s a Super Bowl miracle!

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, there’s a blast from the past.

WCS

Get back here, you Klingon shitpiss.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOOOOOO FEK

Romonobyl

I have the sudden urge to take a dump in a hot tub…

Beerguyrob

I didn’t care who won, but we did because Fek’s back!

Horatio Cornblower

This game is why I do not bet on football.

King Hippo

Ha, Pheeeeeel actually knew something.

ThePirateSloth

Holy. Fuck. Carolina.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Jesus, did a sniper get Cam?

Romonobyl

He did go all Zapruder film on us for a second.

Romonobyl

Welp…

Senor Weaselo

HAIL BLEERGH!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Hail Bleergh

Shogun Marcus

The Capricious and Arbitrary.

Old School Zero

Oh well.

Bortleback

Oh so now Cam can dive on the ground…….

The Maestro

Man, PK is gonna have some nuclear-level takes about Cam tomorrow. Fuck.

Horatio Cornblower

Not if you don’t read them.

Brocky

God, I know we don’t talk often. But the way i see it, you give me the shafts enough thus season. You owe me a Carolina comeback

WhyEaglesWhy

This ref always says “defense” like you were expecting it to be on the offense.

blaxabbath

Damn it! The Boss Todd in his car picture link isn’t working!

Still, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on here:

[DIPS ENTIRE CAN OF KODIAK]

[[LIGHTS AND SMOKES SIX MARLBORO REDS SIMULTANEOUSLY]]

ballsofsteelandfury

Sure. NOW you call PI.

makeitsnowondem

Oh my god Gary, the fucking stones on you.

WCS

HAIL BLEERGH

WhyEaglesWhy

Cam no TDs, 3 turnovers. Peyton no TDs, 2 turnovers. THE SHERIFF!

Senor Weaselo

What’s the O/U on PK words about Cam not diving for the fumble? 20,000?

blaxabbath

Reminds him of {black baseball player who was lazy}

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So basically it seems we are all in agreement, right? Manning is the obvious choice for MVP

Horatio Cornblower

Wow. That Newton step back will fucking haunt him this off-season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, something to criticize Cam for.
Don’t let the fact that the ball was going the other direction when he stopped and didn’t dive for it alter your assessments, however.

blaxabbath

Did his skin color change? No? Then what do you really expect?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Doktor Zymm

hehe, ball squirts.

ThePirateSloth

Hehe

makeitsnowondem

Take it easy, CJ. No one cares if you score.

Recovery Whiskey

HE DID NOT DIVE FOR HIS FUMBLE

Romonobyl

NAWT ELITE!!!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

GLORREEEE BOOOOOY!

“Someone needs to sign Johnny Football!” -PK

King Hippo

run, run, run, FG

Horatio Cornblower

After further review the ruling on the field is that the QB made a throwing motion with an invisible football in his hand. TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!

Romonobyl

Peter King is on his fourth pair of under-britches.

makeitsnowondem

VON FUCKING MILLER

blaxabbath

Gotta let Manning rush this in.

ThePirateSloth

Sooooooooooooooooooooo why did Cam not dive on that ball?

blaxabbath

Lazy. He’s lazy. And pouting.

Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury

Game over. I will burn something if Peyton is named MVP.

Gatoraids

Fill the Ole Lombardi with honey Wade coming for it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow.
Miller gotz to be MVP.

WCS

#Von4MVP

Bortleback

Von Miller MVP. Just give him the fucking trophy right now.

JerBear50

Recovered by the ref?

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