Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
Who wants to call into WEEI after the game?
There’s no point; they hang up on anyone who calls in and disagrees with them.
http://i.imgur.com/XQannBH.jpg
STRONG
Oh yeah, apparently this site doesn’t like imgur…
Pictured: Von Miller in his previous lifetime.
http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/3/30241/623110-darkseid.jpg
HOORAY MANNING’S GONNA RETIRE WOOOOOO
Wade and palz made Brady look every bit as bad until both safeties left the game injured.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6nddgB7691qzqdem.gif
Congrats Hippo, make it snow, Moonbatting, whomever the shit else.
Thank you, sir.
Yup! The best part is that Peyton played like shit.
And that defence is the MVP.
He’s been very honest and upfront about it, says every game that the defense is incredible and he’s just happy to be a small part of such a great team.
Thanks, man. Tis a happy day.
I’m damn happy I’m up to date on my birth control cause there’s gonna be old, white sportswriter jizz all over the place for DAYS
“Me too.”
-Guy from Queen
“Queens”
/fixed
It’s going to smell like Cheetos and bleach everywhere.
So many white people feel so vindicated right now
Over/Under that Eli is suiting up for Carolina?
In…sur…mount…able?
y.u.p.
So was there a Super Bowl was more poor QB play?
Maybe Trent Dilfer/Kerry Collins?
That Cowboys-Colts one, (V? I think?), that ended 16-13?
Tony Eason v the Bears
welp
*a sudden spike in neutron radiation is detected*
**A red hue outlines the arrival of the great spaceship heap IKC Grethor!**
Qapla, forshak-hut dwelling yIntaghs! It is He, The Mighty Feklahr. How the hell are you doin’, boys?
Uncle Fekky would have been here sooner but He was busy winning a Superbowl Chili Cook Off at the Deadwood bar in Iowa City. Guy’cha!
*end transmission*
HI FEK
HOPE YOU’RE HAVING A FUN NIGHT FILLED WITH LOTS OF WONDERFUL TRANNY PORN
WE MISSED YOU
Holy shit. Hello.
FEK! We’ve missed you!
It’s a Super Bowl miracle!
Jesus, there’s a blast from the past.
Get back here, you Klingon shitpiss.
WHOOOOOOOOOO FEK
I have the sudden urge to take a dump in a hot tub…
I didn’t care who won, but we did because Fek’s back!
This game is why I do not bet on football.
Ha, Pheeeeeel actually knew something.
Holy. Fuck. Carolina.
Jesus, did a sniper get Cam?
He did go all Zapruder film on us for a second.
Welp…
HAIL BLEERGH!
Hail Bleergh
The Capricious and Arbitrary.
Oh well.
Oh so now Cam can dive on the ground…….
Man, PK is gonna have some nuclear-level takes about Cam tomorrow. Fuck.
Not if you don’t read them.
God, I know we don’t talk often. But the way i see it, you give me the shafts enough thus season. You owe me a Carolina comeback
This ref always says “defense” like you were expecting it to be on the offense.
Damn it! The Boss Todd in his car picture link isn’t working!
Still, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on here:
[DIPS ENTIRE CAN OF KODIAK]
[[LIGHTS AND SMOKES SIX MARLBORO REDS SIMULTANEOUSLY]]
Sure. NOW you call PI.
Oh my god Gary, the fucking stones on you.
HAIL BLEERGH
Cam no TDs, 3 turnovers. Peyton no TDs, 2 turnovers. THE SHERIFF!
What’s the O/U on PK words about Cam not diving for the fumble? 20,000?
Reminds him of {black baseball player who was lazy}
So basically it seems we are all in agreement, right? Manning is the obvious choice for MVP
Wow. That Newton step back will fucking haunt him this off-season.
Hey, something to criticize Cam for.
Don’t let the fact that the ball was going the other direction when he stopped and didn’t dive for it alter your assessments, however.
Did his skin color change? No? Then what do you really expect?
hehe, ball squirts.
Hehe
Take it easy, CJ. No one cares if you score.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vLOAoksNY1Q/URFUvHAoV6I/AAAAAAAAJXE/ebJVVqBVqKE/s1600/not-like-this.gif
HE DID NOT DIVE FOR HIS FUMBLE
NAWT ELITE!!!
GLORREEEE BOOOOOY!
“Someone needs to sign Johnny Football!” -PK
run, run, run, FG
After further review the ruling on the field is that the QB made a throwing motion with an invisible football in his hand. TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!
Peter King is on his fourth pair of under-britches.
VON FUCKING MILLER
Gotta let Manning rush this in.
Sooooooooooooooooooooo why did Cam not dive on that ball?
Lazy. He’s lazy. And pouting.
Great for cooking, not for football.
https://qph.is.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-d878d2194f57a3166f919c331727dd02?convert_to_webp=true
Game over. I will burn something if Peyton is named MVP.
Fill the Ole Lombardi with honey Wade coming for it
Wow.
Miller gotz to be MVP.
#Von4MVP
Von Miller MVP. Just give him the fucking trophy right now.
Recovered by the ref?