So, I was raised in a fundamentalist Baptist household. Here’s what Easter meant to people who handed out Jack Chick books:
Air tight! Religion sure kept my relatives from getting cancers – says the guy down to one parent and an aunt.
That’s why I make sure the nieces always get candy, because why should their upbringing be as fucked up as mine was. And since I can’t eat chocolate, I’ll just have to settle for beers…as the Lord intended.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Pittsburgh at Columbus – 6:00PM | CBNC / Sportsnet360
- Montreal at New York – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- Edmonton at San Jose – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
NBA:
- Bulls at Celtics – 6:30PM | TNT / TSN
- Thunder at Rockets – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN
- MLB: Cardinals at Yankees – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
Union contract = Holiday Monday. LET “NO WORRIES WEEKEND” CONTINUE!
http://www.sportsonearth.com/assets/images/5/1/6/186708516/cuts/image001_93vk6hjc_4d5fw4lt.gif
Jesus. That’s the saddest thing I’ve seen all day, and I was on Twitter earlier long enough to read about yet another reason why I’m glad I don’t live in Cleveland.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/15967e3c059134314fec06740f7cb45f/tumblr_mn5ewqDQuc1sqw0fjo1_400.gif
Oh, shit! Veep!
Jonah looks like Lex Luthor got sucked into a toilet pipe.
Connor McDavid is a nightmare every shift he is on the ice. And his strides look so damn effortless.
McDavid represents the NHL’s continuing persecution of the Ice Bills. “Oh, you’re team is sucking badly when a generational talent is in the draft? Let’s readjust the draft pick percentage to lower your likelihood of getting said talent!”
Babywatch. Wife went to bed. Asked you having the baby tonight? Response was no, cracked another bottle of wine, packed a bowl. How is everyone at this point on Jesus’ comeback day?
http://media.giphy.com/media/sUnUMs1c0OeQ/giphy.gif
Camped with my buddy last night. Many a bowl were packed. Been a J guy for a while and forgot the wonderfulness of a good rip.
“Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years.” -LL Cool Jesus
I may have misinterpreted that…..
http://media2.giphy.com/media/dSY9GgU0fWS8o/giphy.gif
How does that not end with pregnant lady braining you with your own bottle/bong?
She is too big to catch me right now.
http://cdn.pastemagazine.com/www/articles/Balls1.gif
I can’t wait to watch the new Veep off my DVR tomorrow morning over coffee.
I can’t wait to grab someone’s balls right after coffee.
http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/202505-1/Soccer-ricochet-nutshot-doublewin.gif
Meet me at Starbucks in ten minutes.
Could someone technically inclined produce a Patton Oswald gif of him wanting everything dead from his trip to Miami?
I’m not technically proficient.
Having trouble finding it. Thought it was during the straight hate crime bit, but maybe not?
Aubrey Plaza From “Mike & Dave need wedding dates” (2016)
http://68.media.tumblr.com/bfff64981ac4300733875648efafe45d/tumblr_odv0ygBSEl1tikjvqo2_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4941e37e8bf5d66433cdd9043c27d776/tumblr_odv0ygBSEl1tikjvqo1_400.gif
…Do I need to actually watch this movie? I wrote it off before the first trailer ended.
No. You just saw the best part.
That is what I was thinking, but Aubrey give me the comedy boner.
I wrote it off the moment I saw Adam Devine.
I’m not a huge fan of Aubrey Plaza, but that is a great ass.
Especially for a skinny chick.
How much ham is poisonous? I think I ate a pound of ham, and I’m sweating brown sugar right now.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/68b363137fee6115597c717bade9f9d5/tumblr_mmmzjqA7kZ1snpc3lo1_500.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/aec1dfb6603b447ceb5a750a5e635668/tumblr_mmmzjqA7kZ1snpc3lo2_500.gif
Don’t worry; it wasn’t the ham.
http://oi55.tinypic.com/2mqj1up.jpg
What’s your weight?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9690d273368c47a07eb2703f5ddb148e/tumblr_nw53d2kKkx1ry46hlo1_500.gif
Currently waiting for my to-go pho. Hiked yesterday and camped out last night — even after Easter buffet I still feel out of whack.
“I went to every Target in town yesterday, so I know how you feel.”
– Kellen Winslow, Jr.
Just like assembly line jobs; you’re just about to get screwed by robots.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l5etigMlvu1qbcpvro1_r2_500.gif
IT’S TIME.
uh…..my watch is broken….
Too long in your ass. You need a good watchmaker to clean out all the parts, I’d also replace the glass.
Good one.
Bloody Marys, Jelly beans, and Jesus Christ Superstar. Feel like I’m killing this whole “Easter” thing.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d4d2fcea759f93f7f12a4164bc989106/tumblr_om0zix6MhK1qfr6udo9_500.gif
“Killing what now?”
– Roman soldiers
Nailed that joke.
Any of you boys play Overwatch?
I played TF2 on account of it not costing money. And not needing a current-gen console. And having a Mac.
I played hardcore for the first 6 months. Now I pop in for a few games each time they do a special event.
I’m about the same, i pop in for the first two weeks of every event, then lose interest when a new game comes out.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/52a71efbcf4382019eeef0c6b45db7e2/tumblr_oaxcv4c9ra1s2wio8o1_500.gif
Even if going FOAR the butch look, a trim every once in awhile is advisable…
NOPE! BRAID IT! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAID IT!!!
Fun Fact: There’s another Joey Ryan who’s half of the acoustic guitar duo the Milk Carton Kids. I wonder how that Joey Ryan feels when he googles his name and gets pages of wrestling dick magic.
Rangers showing some life, lets see how this works out for them…
Rangers… goal? Is that legal?
How we doing boys?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/253e2a09b9f6c93c61b87a4492d82420/tumblr_onpvg14HUi1qfr6udo1_500.gif
OOK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNTD3mUnXQY
Thank you all for celebrating my 2nd birthday. Hope it’s been enjoyable. As for certain detractors, I don’t know nor care what your issue is. That’s the fun part of the internet and life in general. If you don’t like something, you can leave.
http://i66.tinypic.com/2lmm61v.jpg
http://shagaustin.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Big-Boy-Haircut.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9ac3b8e5c2b63fefcfde3a56013e9b6e/tumblr_o6f6trTkcG1s01qkyo1_400.gif
Hey I think for 39 I’m doing alright.
Speaking from experience;
IF YOU FUCKING GOT IT TAKE ADVANTAGE!
Oh I am. I know what’s coming.
Mine used to be that long, and then I turned 16 and started going bald.
If you guys don’t come to the table, DonT is gonna get all my fake money and there will be none left for the rest of you.
http://christchurchcasino.nz/assets/images/Promotions/2014/September/poker1.jpg
How about Unreal Tournament II?
Too bad I can’t get approved! Me! The guy who brought Sill to dfo!
I will sincerely miss watching your bear-poking techniques. I think bear might be an overestimation, but it flows better than “small to medium sized nervous yappy dog poking techniques.”
That dude ain’t going nowhere.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8eb89ed7d26929e0a64d18df8f9ae633/tumblr_oogpeqnLlQ1qa1kjgo1_1280.jpg
That looks a lot like that series of pickup artist tutorials hosted by Darren Sharper.
I think I spent my Easter the correct way. Drinking then eating too much food, with the rest of the day watching Dan Harmon on panels talking about Rick and Morty.
Links?
I am watching some Australian one now. This one had some fun stuff in it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVaTKQlX8Us
when does season start anyway??
The season DID start. They just like to torture us, Evil Rick style by making us wait a long time for the next episode.
EVIL RIIIIIIICK!!!!
/I didn’t watch the 1 April one, because I was too crunk. I figured would wait until the regular weeklies started.
Fall-ish I think. It is some date far away and we only got that one ep because they said we would have to wait a year and a half for more Rick and Morty and that happened to land on April fools day.
The stream promos said this summer, but they didn’t specify.
Finally cleaning out my random collection of cables that seem to follow me house to house. Just tossed out a Sega Genesis adapter, a 30′ S-Video to VGA cable, and an adapter for a Yamaha keyboard that weighs probably as much as my computer.
Ice Stillers hit the post. Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals?? Crack pipe.
And now the net.
WHEE!!!! Rooting FOAR Yinzers plus Canadia x3 in the semis.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6e5dd852467657e7061eb6c033e7d5d5/tumblr_ollcbfubG21s9t9owo2_400.jpg
see, I can has friend sometimes
Sigh, Garden Rangers gonna Garden Ranger…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/fb03f153687e8283dc29211438b9c87c/tumblr_mw4an0RbdT1rkfxqwo3_1280.png
and Canadia has a scintilla of hope. In the midst of all that snow.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7772a9a27147f671fb73c08a24803b2a/tumblr_ms2bqmcRV21spb0xzo1_400.gif
Oh goody, a power play!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjp1Zrvn8VQ
PIZZA!
Hopefully everybody is ready for a productive week at work.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8082054eb1b24302c63f708e5c5f0521/tumblr_nvbx570Y0z1qet0epo1_1280.gif
I feel that way in mah profession since about November 2016, though it has no direct correlation to Herr Fuhrer
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9135386e7e36d3fbadd13723e80d57fe/tumblr_om0eemrm6k1ramnmyo1_1280.png
So, who do I have to murder to get a Futurama/Rick and Morty crossover? Cause I will totally go killin for that.
Matt Groening, I assume.
THIS DOKTOR ZYMM I CALL HER KROMBOPULOS MICHAEL BECAUSE THERE SHE GOES KILLING AGAIN.
I wish my business cards were that sweet
Vistaprint dot com
Also, like Krombopulos Michael, if Doktor Zymm wants someone dead, there’s not a lot anyone can do to stop her.
How about a Rick & Morty GTA mod? http://kotaku.com/the-rick-and-morty-mods-for-gta-v-are-way-too-real-1794365459
Already happened. Check out the people in the court
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTWdP5DMdsM
There’s a Slurm machine in the Rick & Morty Simpsons opening.
You know, when I mentioned the idea of a DFOcast, I didn’t intend any disrespect to our friends at the Free Ballin’ Football Podcast. It’s just that their coverage is already football-specific, which is fine for covering it seriously, but I want to share Sunday Gravy and HRTN with the world, too.
I’d be happy to do it. The FBFP folks run theirs over Skype, which would be fun.
Rex…… Rex…… REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX…..
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3d2a599d6268e08162b29fe31b7b40d8/tumblr_ooczrfyq4j1v5ijj7o1_500.gif
“My God. It’s full of feet.”
— Rex Ryan, at the end of 2EEE: A Sole Odyssey
OH COME ON CARDINALS!!!!!!
If Jawja boy can’t do no better FOAR the damned Yankees, then we in a tight spot.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/498ebe3253434746e59faefb7b5208db/tumblr_o66lhu89WS1qzeglvo1_500.jpg
well, that VERY BRIEF Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals lead was sure nice whilst it lasted…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/ebaeae39e16c5de69471bec6353f2b47/tumblr_onyypapVDJ1w2oi94o1_1280.jpg
Still not Aaron Judge’s plate music and HOLY SHIT BIRD PERSON DID A GOOD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRS62nccwmw
Periscope up.
What the Hell?
Anyone know why the Celtics are pronounced seltics, despite there not being a soft C in Irish? I mean, cats isn’t pronounced sats…
Because they’re savages.
Yeah, cause otherwise Boston has that pronunciation thing down pretty well.
Goddamn why don’t I come here more often? Great bar.
Usually my answer to that internal question is “scenes go missing” but YMMV.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/ligue-un/match-abandoned-at-halftime-as-bastia-fans-attack-lyon-players/ar-BBzUiVI?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Weed and wine. May make waffles to keep the W’s coming.
Shit, that’s actually a cool bar/restauranty idea. You can call it The Big W!
http://www.cinemassacre.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/BigW-9.jpg
I would gladly live at this restaurant.
Shit yeah, weed, wine and waffles is a great idea.
Big W is the name of Walmart in Oz.
Everyone worked today (except me…), so we went to the diner. The diner got a facelift. Not sure what I think about the facelift.
My Easter dinner: slow-cooked moose, green beans, mashed potatoes, and a bottle of chardonnay each. Dessert was skillet-cooked caramel brownies and vanilla ice cream.
So yeah, I’m drunk and stuffed and watching ice football.
Why yes; I AM slow baked……..
http://comicalconcept.com/illustration/munchies-the-moose/original.jpg
I’m being a tourist today, staying in a hotel downtown and drinking at my fav old school cash only river north dive bar. A good slice place opened up next door and now i’m eating a slice of pepperoni with a $3 old style can. One good part of Chicago being kinda a mess is that even in vibrant expensive areas some of the dive bars can afford to remain.
Our Easter dinner was kielbasa and made-to-order pancakes by your truly. The kielbasa was from the Ukranians’ annual fundraiser and those Slavs sure can make pork sausage! Pancakes were blueberry, strawberry, chocolate chip, banana or any ridiculous combination you wanted.
We ate at noon and I’m just now eating some leftover quiche.
Man, remember that time I got so wasted I dissappeared for three days and woke up in a cave?!
Happy Easter!
I better have a real good fucking story for Mary Magdeline, yeah??
http://www.dravenstales.ch/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/zombiefakeboobs.gif
I like the Beastmode signing with OAK. He’s a proud player who’ll be professional. The Raiders are in a wave of improvement, so they’d sign Lynch on merit. But it’s such a transparent populist move to appease OAK. Or not appease, just inspire angry Raider sex before it’s U-Haul time. For that they’ll go to Vegas.
Christ, how I wish I had bid $1 for him at auction last year…
Jerry Richardson has similar sentiments.
One last missive before I sign off for good.
There was a huge audience for this site when it initially took over from KSK.
I was instrumental in bringing many KSKers here.
DTZM will not dispute this.
What DTZM will also not dispute is the thousands of dollars of assistance I offered to him free of obligation. I offered to pay for servers, podcast microphones, you name it.
I was rebuffed at every turn, being constantly reassured that DTZM’s expertise was worth more than my cash investment into hardware.
As for what DTZM and the rest of you dead-enders have “built” here, I’d say that the 99.99% KSK dispersion rate speaks for itself.
Your life-disaffirming circle jerks will chase off anyone else who may have been interested before the start of the new season.
So long, dumbfucks!
Funny. I managed to offer my own financial help to DTZM for the site/server maintenance without pissing off everyone else in the process….or trying to use it for some fucked up guilt trip.
So who the fuck pissed you off this time? Seriously…..
I like you Sill. Sincerely. But you need to get some help. I’ll even pay for it.
And btw…..DTZM is the only fucking reason you didn’t get blackballed a long fucking time ago.
You should have a little more fucking respect you cretin.
Fuck off.
I was blackballed once; don’t recommend it, it took forever to get the feeling back in the sack.
At least they didn’t have to be amputated.
Me too. My father still won’t speak to me at holidays.
Well, go fuck yourself then.
If what he says is true, I’m pretty pissed off DTZM kept us from having PODCAST MICS!
Did I miss something?
I also sit firmly in Camp …Huh?
With you there Grat.
I don’t think you should even bother with the troll history.
I’ve seen the anger aimed at 2-3 people in particular, but I’m guessing there’s some nuclear heat taking place in the background of it all
We should stop talking about it now. FWIW.
Forgot Where I Was?
I always know where you are.
Why do you think I always sit in the corner with my back to the wall?
😉
As long as you didn’t FWIW……
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/08/GIF-Conceding-Lumbergh-Office-Office-Space-OK-Ok-then-Uh-yeah-Umm-Well-then-GIF.gif
Lost as well, but willing to take a wild swing in the dark that Blax’s name may be in play here. No saying at fault, mind you, just in play.
Very minor role; this goes way preBlax,
Gotcha. Not really up in the DFO insider politics. Also not terribly concerned with the loss. Although I’m a little concerned I may not be able to find anyone else on the interwebs willing to constantly interject there politics into every situation, and certainly not with a high level of smugness and condescension. That will surely be hard to replace.
That made me laugh.
He mad cuz I’m even smuggier.
You peon.
Truth be told, I have nothing to do with the above.
Also, I never offered to pay for anything with regard to [dfo]. I’m a cheapskate.
Yeah, I hear you. If I get any broker, I’m gonna have to get a second job at Senor Pizza delivering extra anchovies just to pay for my beer.
Hey Sill. I’m glad to see you back.
I assume you refer to growth in viewership or keeping prior homies. Some of the latter do pop in sometime. We’re glad about who comes. Those and them who dissappeared, we hope are enjoying thenselves too out there.
As to growth, I see it another way. We have expanded to put posts (plural) here everyday, even on Sat and Sun when nothing is happening. And we enjoy it and look forward to stuff.
To be honest, IMO, DFO is not for everybody. But it’s ours, with no outside control, we enjoy it, yo mama jokes are in bounds and we call each other dicks frequently with not much hostility.
We hang with those who come and others are welcome, letting it grow on its merits, not by digital pimping or dead-horse tottally obvs. takes. Idiosincracy is big here, and thas jus the way i liks it.
Thank you for bringing me here. Pull no punches man.
Adios, Sill. Again.
See you on Wednesday, buddy!
Oh please don’t go.
Kidding.
Fuck off and die.
Fucking bitch.
No one ever shares their Easter ham with us.
Signed,
The Jews
But at least u can say ur the reason 4 the season ,, amirite??
Counterpoint:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=gJVIfPrKiN8
SERIOUSLY?
Hey look at that, the Rangers wasted a power play!
but you tell us that would NEVAR happen??
The Lawd loves a beer-filled holiday!!
Sure looks like Flower had a couple before the game tonight…
I should not have ogled the chick at mass with the big knockers, it was like I died and went to heaven. And came back 3 days later