So, funny thing…
Your good friend Balls has no clue as to how to read a calendar!
I had this post all prepped and scheduled when someone reminded me I was scheduled to do an evening Open Thread today, not yesterday. I’m always a Make A Margarita Out Of Lemons kind of guy, so I’ve taken the extra time to spruce up the post a bit.
Also, because everyone is hung over from yesterday, I’m making it a Day Thread instead of an Evening Thread. Enjoy!
The day after Christmas has been known as Boxing Day in the United Kingdom and other countries in the Commonwealth of Nations (essentially almost all of the former British Empire dominions/colonies) since the 1600s.
The original tradition stemmed from the wealthy giving their servants the day off the day after Christmas (because really, who else was going to serve Christmas dinner?) and giving them small gifts for their families in a “Christmas-box”.
Hence the name.
These days, the tradition is more like the American Black Friday in that many stores hold sales and most countries declare it as a holiday without work.
Sports also take center stage as the English Premier League and rugby have a full slate of games while Australia has a traditional Boxing Day cricket test and New Zealand and South Africa also hold cricket matches.
Funny enough, it seems only the African Commonwealth countries have enough sense to stage BOXING matches on this day.
All of this will be completed by the time you read this, so I’m taking this post in a different direction:
Yup, you knew I’d perve it up!
There is also apparently a Fancy Dress Boxing Day Parade in Wigan in the UK. Here are some pictures from prior years:
That looks like a lot of fun, actually.
Canadian DFOers! Please fill in the blanks on the fun to be had on this magical day!
That happened yesterday!
You say that the Vanderbilt QB has a chance to break all of Jay Cutler’s records? We go live to Jay Cutler for his reaction:
Jordan Rodgers is doing commentary on The Outdoors Texas Bowl. Does he take veiled shots at his brother?
Veiled?
Baylor’s Jamycal Hasty made his way to the endzone
[puts on coke bottle eye glasses]
…quickly.
DFOers,
Mr. Fronkenshteen would like to proudly introduce you to “the little Fronkenpooper”:
Wee Fronk!
Frank
That kid looks suspiciously like Scott Van Pelt.
Just sayin’.
Baby! Yea!
Son of Fronkenshteen
Nice. General observation: all newborns look like Winston Churchill.
Oh thank god he’s white…is what I tried to get my wife to say when she delivered our first. With my mother in the room.
Your kid is cute, too.
LMFAO
TinyFronk is just adorable! Congrats to the Bride of Fronkenshteen for a job well done!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxhkoSdumQs
Hey! Right on!
finally saw the new Jerrod Carmichael stand up special. It’s good!
So now we get to wonder what sort of Super Cancer the entire city of New York was just inflicted with after a ConEd explosion.
Haha…I get it!!!!!
An underrated movie.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DveIJbMUYAAZuNi?format=jpg&name=900×900
Too bad it wasn’t a bunch of poor Mighiganers— then we wouldn’t have to hear about it all the time and have the rest of if forced to be “NYCStrong”.
On the other hand…
PK might have been evaporated along with NFL Headquarters, the Jets, and — praise the Lord — every(?!!) Wells Fargo executive in history and theiir associates, friends, attorneys and their respective families?!
I’m not dead yet!
Someone came up with Astoria Borealis. At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, located entirely in your Con Ed?
May I see it?
As a father, how do you send your daughter to Baylor to be in the cheer squad. I assume the tuition is ridiculous, so maybe send Sexy Allysson the coed somewhere else.
Sexy Allysson, you say…
/quietly googles “how to start your own school chaep”
Crazy to actually witness the blind trust in a broken institution out to fuck them in the most personal way.
Oh yea!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3_hEGDaLXQ
Hey. Cassandra Cain is also going to be in the new season of Young Justice. That is my favorite character. But I am not overreacting or nerdgasming at all.
(artistic reenactment of my reaction)
Young Justice? PLEASE tell me this is a juvie-themed porn series! – Marc T., Parts Unknown
This is DC Universe so you never know. Personally I’m waiting for the alternate ending to the Batman animated series episode “Over the Edge”.
Barbara: “Dad, I’ve sort of taking this night job that’s kind of dangerous.”
Commissioner Gordon: “I know, dear. You’re Batgirl and Bruce Wayne is Batman.”
Barbara: “Batgirl? No! I’m a prostitute and Bruce is my pimp!”
Oh! I guess I succeeded in the LDB challenge! What do I win? A beer? I’m taking a beer.
Champion!
Here ya go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsrKloxhfaw
Claude Giroux undressed Vasilevskiv(?) after blowing through a 4v1 defense. Imagine a reality where Claude Giroux has competent coaching and goaltending for an entire season.
ESPN2 has World Axe Throwing Championship on right now. This will be followed at the top of the hour by two hours of 2018 World Cup Final of Dodgeball from Madison Square Garden.
Do they still televise Spelling Bee?
Can’t they combine the three sports?
and they hipster-hype the SHIT out of it
If you can dodge an axe, you can dodge a ball.
Your word is…..
https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/holmes-and-watson-is-so-bad-viewers-are-walking-out-mid-movie/ar-BBRvDmx?ocid=spartanntp
In case anyone was thinking about seeing Holmes & Watson.
I hate how ESPN dumbs down the playoff qualification scenarios and omits “or tie”
Dec. 27th Primetime Game is a 6-6 Bowl?!
mid-week, too close to actual Xmas = Bowls hate the slot.
Just realized UConn’s own, Dan Orlovsky, is doing coloUr for the Pinstripe Bowl. I cannot believe they haven’t found a way to shoehorn in a clip of him running out of the back of the end zone yet.
With all the crap Orlovsky gets, would anyone trust the ’08 Lions O-Line to give 12 yards of pass protection?
Nice of Wizzy to piss in the wound. Maybe they think running it up will help them in the rankings next season.
I know, assume Da U must have been da-icks during Bowl Week or sommet.
I didn’t bet this one because WI is generally stinky cheese, too – but my “back the Atlantic (plus Duke, super well-coached), fade the Coastal” looks pretty solid so far.
Either Miami was dicks or they put Senior bench players in which omits all run up the score rules.
Fronkenbaby the Second has arrived! A robust lad, weighing in at 8 lbs 4 oz., 20 inches in length. Took to the nipple like a goddamned pro, too! Everyone healthy and happy. Hope you guys are all BANGED UP and winning all your bets. Cheers!
Congrats!
mazel tov!
4 oz/ 20 inches?
I think Josh Gordon just got suspended again.
Congratulations!
Congratulations on your Fronkenshpawn!
I think we can dispense with any kind of naming contest, because nothing is competing with this gem.
Yep this one is it.
Indeed. Inspired!
Well done, Ms. Fronkenshteen!
Oh, and yeah, you too, guy.
Well done!!!! And for his sake I hope he doesn’t look like you.
(I’ve never met you, I’m just assuming)
Oh you’re right on the money. I ain’t purdy.
Congrats to you and your Fronkenshtroop.
That warms my heart. Congratulations!
Huzzah to you Fronk! Just don’t let it follow in your footsteps and be a West Ham fan!
WHOOHOO!!! Congratulations!!
I guess this means we’ll have to drink extra heavy tonight to celebrate.
Congrats!
You have a couple of years yet to figure out how to deal with Xmas/birthday gifting protocols. Unless you are a follower of one of the world’s other major or minor religions, of course.
My niece was born on New Year’s Eve.
ALWAYS 2 presents!
Congratulations!
Congrats! Glad to hear everyone is doing well.
Hooray! Way to watch your wife do all the work!
THOSE ICE CHIPS DIDN’T FEED THEMSELVES TO HER, DAMMIT!!
Congrats! Hope that all went as well as possible for the Bride of Fronkenshteen, too, and that she is enjoying a well-deserved rest.
Since I have taken to the nipple and have not looked back.
Congratulations.
Facebook just suggested I become fb friends with Tommy Chong.
Yes, I find that hilarious. And also weirdly apropos.
While you were laughing Facebook sold all your information to some Slavic bandits.
I once went to the same auto body shop that Tommy Chong also once went to.
I’m just going to presume you were both high and crashed into each other, and move on.
😀
No, but there was an autographed picture of him on the wall.
Cheech Marin probably forged the signature for a dime bag.
Meh, let ’em have it.
I hope that if you send him a friend request, he replies with “Tommy’s not here, man.”
As long as it doesn’t suggest me. You know just enough to get me in trouble. Or out of trouble. Not sure.
I’m starting to think neither team is interested in winning this game.
I’ve noticed that the second half of these lesser bowl games seem to drop into “if you don’t try to hurt me, I won’t try to hurt you” more often than not.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7IakX-f_3w&ab_channel=AdultSwim
(Alert sounds in the DFO clubhouse)
Horatio has 4 18-19 year old females in his house and they’re baked
DFO: TO HORATIO’S!!!!
(Alert sounds a second time)
Upon further review, it’s his daughter and three of her friends and they’re baking, not baked.
DFO:
Any of these girls have… moms?
Well, except for the daughter…
Nice save.
“That’s the best one.”
Bill B. NE
Pretty sure they all do.
Ya Damned Tease.
I’m not kidding about the baking. There’s some good looking chocolate chip cookies being put together in there, and I know you people well enough to know that if you don’t have the munchies now, you will have them within an hour.
Say whatever you want. And enjoy your cookies.
I’m still gonna picture it this way….
This has to be a niche fetish; hello sweet internet money.
Dang, Hippo was right again. I shoulda dropped the G on Duke.
Currently I’m looking at dumping it on LSU ATS. What say you, Hippo Man?
what is spread? I like ’em to win, for sure. Wazzu -2.5 tomorrow night I also like
I can get Tigs -7.
yeah, they probably at least push that. I was thinking “7” as break even point
UCF hasn’t played anybody. New guy under center now suddenly also. I don’t see them faring well against LSU’s defense.
I agree, just that LSU is not high-scoring, and UCF is very wide open (especially when chasing backdoor cover). I could easily see a 31-24, etc.
I like Molly a whole bunch. She’s doing a carbonara here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JYub2JxoDo
“Me too…. oh, you mean…..”
-Wes Wleker
Bacon, eggs and cheese in a pasta?
Count me in.
You and I have been watching the same videos! Molly is awesome!!
Her pasta with lemon is delicious!
#spiritpasta
I would eat a lot of that carbonara.
The Melissandre smoke-baby episode. Is it wrong to be terrified, disgusted and really aroused all at the same time?
No.
(turns into ESPN / sees Miami’s losing)
(smiles contently)
He wants to dock.
Wisconsin’s kicker looks like a 45-year-old background actor in a 1970’s porno. Kicks like one, too.
“Hey, Holder. Why don’t you get down on your knee and handle my pigskin.”
(70s porno music hits)
[pizza delivery guy walks in]
“That’ll be six dollars… Whoa! What’s going on here?”
Then he fixes the cable.
Nice socks.
I don’t have an erection, YOU HAVE AN ERECTION!!!!!
Being 25 she’s “flunked” a lot of grades. Looks like she’s going to get and A and an F.
And a D or two.
[talks as he’s pumping away]
“We don’t have any cash. Wanna join in?”
“I sure do!”
[takes off “Keep On Truckin” t-shirt]
Where the hell do you get a pie for six bucks these days?
It’s the 70’s! Geezuz!
I wonder if his dick also hooks to the left.
After close examination of the Wigan birds above, I can safely say that while slutty they are at best St. Louis 6’s. Maybe an L.A. 3.
St. Louis 6, L.A. 3 is what the score would have been if Jeff Fisher’s Rams could have played against themselves.
Apparently Flavor Flav’s nephew made a good defensive play for Miami.
If doesn’t have sex with old-ass Brigitte Nielsen, he’s way ahead of his uncle.
I wonder if he’s a bottom like old Flav…
If he is, he should get cleaned out regularly, and do it in front of people to set an example.
I guess I’m saying he should get a Public Enema.
Are you a dad? I ask because that joke…
Yeah (far as I know).
And what joke?
Desean Jackson wants to move on from the Bucs
“I want to drop passes and not score TD’s for some other team that needs those skills!”
-D.S.
Who was the mammal that told you Temple always folds down the stretch and that one should wager Duke footy?
Did the mammal make some moolah?
Chuh chuh! Like $125-ish
I disagreed with you and was wrong. But in a way, I was right, and you were wrong. I’ll figure out how later.
Fellow DFO commenters, I require your assistance. Ms. Sellecksmoustache is pressing hard for a vacation. I’m fine with it but want some opinions from the most learned minds on the interwebz. She has presented four locals: Montreal, Dublin, Barcelona or Paris.
I am ashamed to admit this, but I am severely lacking in culture and have never left the loving arms of Lady Liberty. Are any of these better than countering with a local somewhere here in God’s country? She added Barcelona to the list because of topless beaches, if that adds any weight to a decision.
Montreal is probably the cheapest option is she’s not budging on those choices. That said, French Canadians are shitheads.
MTL was the only place in Canadia that I did NOT like. Quebec City, on the other hand, was awesome.
#spiritanimal
It sounds like you’re saying Barcelona for the nekkid Spanish broads.
And the food!
Spanish broads? It’ll be a bunch of flabby old pasty German hausfraus.
I’d counter Montreal with Quebec City. The old part of the city is very European as far as its look/feel is concerned. There’s great food there and plenty to do.
#notallfrenchcanadians
I mean…she wants to get naked on a beach and wants you to see other boobs. So do that.
Also, if you don’t have a passport, do that immediately so you don’t have to stress about it.
Also, don’t go to Europe during July-August because they aren’t big fans of air conditioning.
Do Canuck ladies not pull out their maple jugs?
Have a passport, but feel that Miami is closer, cheaper and has just as many things (women) for me to look at.
Yeah, but Miami also sucks.
Where’s home base (approx)? Like what airport?
CVG, or as Redshirt knows, Cincinnati. Not happy about it but I deal with bad situations.
Unless things have changed, Delta uses Cincinnati-N Kentucky as an international hub. I flew to Europe through there a number of times back in the late 90s and early 2000s.
Then you’re not THAT far from Europe. Do that. Ireland has pubs and whatnot.
If you’re going to go to Miami, drive another 150 miles and go to Key West.
“She added Barcelona to the list because of topless beaches, if that adds any weight to a decision.”
I don’t think any good can come to Topless Beaches. “Oh, is that what you like? All big? Am I too flat for you?” “Oh, is that what you like? All small? Am I just a torso connected to two beachballs?” Either that or Ms. Sellecksmoustache wants the scenery, which raises some possible questions.
I enjoyed Dublin quite a bit, and it is an excellent “beginner” Europe destination. Barcelona was nice but felt too touristy. I haven’t been to Montreal or Paris since I was in high school, but wasn’t a huge fan of either (which should probably be discounted, since I was too young to enjoy them much).
A friend just went and liked Madrid better because of that very reason.
What is the budget? Do you have airline miles to knock down the cost?
I’d go also to other near by cities depending on what you want to see.
BARCELONA!!!!
Seriously, it is one of only two cities in the world that I’ve felt at home. The people are wonderful, the food is amazing, and there is culture galore. Plus, the weather is Mediterranean mild, so it won’t get too cold or too hot.
I have been to all 4 numerous times (not bragging just strange circumstances and her choices are fucking excellent.
Dublin is great but the weather can be shit a lot of the time. Montreal has Jazzfest, Comedyfest, music festivals in the summer and it will cost you less than the others. Barca is fucking incredible, the food, the people, the architecture, Gaudi buildings everywhere. Paris is my favoUrite city in the world.
No NFL tonight so Miami/Wiscy will have to do.
Guy 1: “What the heck is that?”
Guy 2: “I think it’s called a ‘propeller’.”
Guy 1: “Welp, there goes my ‘big fan’ joke.”
In nautical parlance, that would be called a “screw.”
Figures a boat full of seamen would have a big screw.
Near the Lincoln Memorial there is a monument to the guy who invented the screw propeller.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avjnIOdne_8&ab_channel=SeizeTheDay22
Huh. At first glance, the new Harley Quinn series doesn’t look too bad. I guess DC wasn’t paying attention to it. At least they got Bader back as Batman.
Also, Poison Ivy is now my Spirit Animal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZi4zsBVGmo
Cool!
Bader isn’t how you spell “Kevin Conroy.”
Its not Conroy, but Bader is pretty good. Its like Conroy is early Metallica and Bader is later Metallica. One perfect, but the other isn’t that bad.
Living goddess.
Mom?
Incest?
Finally back home. My mother managed to get myself, my sister, and two of my nieces sick with a stomach bug. Driving back from Baltimore was an nightmare as neither my sister nor I could time our bouts of vomiting together.
I just have to now wake up first thing and drive my sister back to Tenn in the am. Just a six hour round trip…that is all…
Only professional actors in certain genres of porn can time our bouts of vomiting together.
“Our bouts”? Do you live a double life, Moose?
Sometime copy/paste turns out funnier than intended.
For the last time, Moose, it was an art film and I was young and I needed the money!
Ten bucks is ten bucks.
Drive safe. Hopefully its an easy drive with less turns so you can set the cruise control and just keep it on the road.
Does Shreveport, Louisiana actually exist, or is it just a massive case of widespread hallucination?
I’m not going to say I’m not enjoying Temple whipping up on Duke, I’m just saying I’d be a lot happier if I was watching it in late March.
Dropping in to pimp the mailbag and then back to hanging with my future in-laws
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/2018/12/26/mouth-flies-open-door-number-2/
At first glance, I misread that by omitting the word “with”.
In an age of digital seats, I now don’t feel like as much of an idiot keeping score at every baseball game I attend.
I also now feel more compelled to take photos than before as a way of proving I was there.
I also try to take a picture of both starting pitchers’ foreskins too, but that’s just for other reasons.
I’m a huge fan of manual scorekeeping. Screw the millennials who think it’s dumb.
Yes, let’s screw some millennials!
/ types into Pornhub search bar…
One of my finest hours is keeping score of the 2008 ASG until I ran out of paper, and then ran out of the counting columns, and then ran out of margins. And it was the 14th at that point so I wasn’t spending another $20 on a third program (a clean copy, a scored copy, and that hypothetical copy) just for a scorecard.
I once had to keep the official scorebook during a Little League All-Star play-off tournament. Some of the parents would come up and ask “how could you score my son’s hit an error!? The shortstop never got a glove on it!!”
Yes ma’am, I saw the play and I’m aware of that, but I also saw that your son hit a three-hopper to said shortstop, who proceeded to kick that thing back past home plate and that, I’m afraid, is an error.
HOW THE HELL IS MY SON SUPPOSED TO GET ON THE TRAVEL TEAM? OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!
If I wasn’t due up, or if I was out of the game after pitching, I got to do the book. I was the only one.
I call False Advertising. I’ve been using Sling TV for about 24 hours and Megan Mullally hasn’t shown up asking if I want to have intimate relations with her. Hell, I’d be open to considering Nick Offerman. He seems like someone who would be a gentle yet passionate lover.
Sling is great! I’ve got the Spanish package for BeIn Sports. There are some good channels there!
OK, that’s just wrong…..
…because you have wood.
And didn’t think of it first.
If that’s wrong; I don’t want to be right.
how did I miss this….
Is that Marshawn Lynch trying to light a blunt?
I’m gettin a semi for the upcoming (heh) Independence Bowl, but I’m sad that it’s no longer the Poulan Weedeater Independence Bowl. Damn, that device could really eat weeds!
Right? I don’t know that bowl by any other name!
half-way thru the season!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4VLhzFhIyk
Rebecca Lowe is the definition of lovely.