YOUR 2025 AVN Awards Nominees

Yes, it’s that time of year again! My, how time flies! I also thought today, right after Christmas, was the best day to publish this. Jesus GETS titties and asses.

This year, the 2025 AVN Awards Show is set to take place January 25, 2025 at Virgin Hotels Las Vegas.

Tickets to the 2025 AVN Awards Show are available here.

Tickets start at $175, which is amazing considering the face value of my ticket in the 90s was $160.

As always, I will go through the categories and give my predictions/commentary. After the awards are given out, I will do a follow-up post to see how I fared. Please note that this year I am omitting the Trans categories. They just take up space as I’m not picking them anyway.

There are three main sections with multiple categories within those sections. We have VIDEO (in the past there were separate categories for video and film productions but, alas, art is dead), PLEASURE PRODUCTS, and RETAIL. The last two, I’m sure, are there to help consumers choose quality products and providers. After all, it’s a business, people!

Without further ado, let’s get started!

VIDEO

Grand Reel

Alive, Dorcel
Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse
Birth, Adult Time
Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Iris, Wicked/Pulse
Juicy Silver, Digital Playground/Pulse
Last Splash, Erika Lust
Project X, Digital Playground
So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse
Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures

Commentary/Predicción: The Grand Reel is the equivalent of Best Film in the Oscars. I hear good things about “Project X”, but let’s call it “Alive”.

Best Actor – Featurette

Parker Ambrose, “My Virginity Is a Burden VII” | MissaX
Nathan Bronson, “Parkour XXX” | ForPlay Films
Elias Cash, “Coach Driller” | MissaX
Hollywood Cash, “Preserving Our New Lifestyle” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Christian Clay, “Sunset Serendipity” | Sensual-X/Sssh
Ryan Driller, “Coach Driller” | MissaX
Ken Feels, “A Lie of Omission” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Seth Gamble, “A Loving Home Environment” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
Tommy Pistol, “Don’t Disrespect the Boss” | Sex and Submission/Kink
Chad White, “Watching Porn With Aubree” | MissaX

Commentary/Predicción: Virginity IS a burden. Let’s call it Parker Ambrose.

Best Actress – Featurette

Jewelz Blu, “Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions
Anna Claire Clouds, “Abandoned” | Pampering Our Sitter, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
Madi Collins, “Back Rent: Paid in Rear” | Sex and Submission/Kink
Kenna James, “Who Rescued Who? IV” | AllHerLuv
Nicole Kitt, “Sultry Singer Nicole Seduces Her Longtime Crush” | Vixen
Katie Kush, “Saving the Family Business” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Melody Marks, “Mi Casa Es Su Casa” | A Loving Home Environment, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
Alison Rey, “For Richer or Poorer” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Dana Vespoli, “Swapped in Secret: The Other Family” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Maitland Ward, “Pigeonholed” | The Predatory Woman 2, Deeper/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Maitland Ward won last year. I don’t think she gets two in a row. Let’s call it Jewelz Blu.

Best All-Girl Group Sex Scene

“The 66th Day – Scene 4” | Wicked Pictures; Vanna Bardot, Demi Hawks, Hazel Grace & Penny Barber
“Crossing the Finish Line” | Girlsway/Adult Time; Nicole Kitt, Destiny Mira & Olivia Jay
“Ghostbusters XXX: A Porn Parody – Part 2” | Cosplayground; Chanel Camryn, Anna Claire Clouds & Avery Black
“Houseguest Dommed by Lesbian Couple” | Hot and Mean/Brazzers; Kira Noir, Casey Calvert & Skin Diamond
“If You Love Me… Scene 2” | Adam & Eve Pictures; Kenna James, Kylie Rocket & Alexis Tae
“Just Friends” | Parasited; Lexi Lore, Hazel Moore, Melody Marks & Little Dragon
“Lesbian Side Effects” | She Seduced Me; Ameena Green, Lysagna DelRay & Xxlayna Marie
“Ms. Behave” | Dyked/Team Skeet; Olive Glass, Celestina Blooms & Mia Molotov
“Rule of Three” | Slayed; Violet Starr, Scarlett Alexis & Gal Ritchie
“Sneaky Bellhop Fake Cock Pussy Swap” | Hot and Mean/Brazzers; Emma Hix, Lily Lou & Chloe Surreal

Commentary/Predicción: Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!

Best All-Girl Movie or Limited Series

Bad Lesbian 18, Girlfriends Films
Erotic Premonitions, AllHerLuv
Fierce 2, Slayed/Pulse
I Kissed a Girl 5, Nubile Films/Pulse
Lesbian Stepsisters 13, Sweetheart/Mile High/Pulse
Lesbian Superstars 4, Lesbian X/Mile High
She Likes Girls, New Sensations
Spun, Girlsway/Adult Time
Unspoken Oaths, Mixed X/Pulse
Yoga Girls 6, Addicted 2 Girls/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: I have a thing for Yoga-themed films. Let’s go with Yoga Girls 6.

Best All-Girl Series or Free-Form Line

All Girl Massage, Fantasy Massage/Adult Time/Pulse
Dyked, Team Skeet
Girl Girl Sex, abbywinters/Pulse
A Girl Knows, LetsDoeIt
Hot and Mean, Brazzers
Juicy Licks, Reality Kings/Pulse
Lesbian Psychodramas, Girlfriends Films
Play, Slayed
Viv Thomas, Viv Thomas/MetArt
When Girls Play, Twistys/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Channel has been replaced by “Free-Form Line”. I have no idea what that means. Juicy Licks FTW.

Best Anal Movie or Collected Release

Anal Room 3, Ricky’s Room
Anal Savages 10, Jules Jordan Video
Anal Pervs 6, Perv City/Adult Source
Hardcore Anal Superstars 2, Hard X/Mile High
I Love Anal 3, Darkko/Evil Angel
Red Flags, Diabolic/Pulse
Surrender to Anal 15, Bang!/Adult Source
Taking It in the Booty Like a Champ, Zero Tolerance/Pulse
Up That Black Ass 13, Elegant Angel
Views 6, Tushy/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Similarly, “Limited Series” is now “Collected Release”. No idea what that means either. My favourite categories begin! I Love Anal 3.

Best Anal Series or Free-Form Line

All Anal, All Anal
Anal Glory, Brazzers/Pulse
Anal.Oil.Latex., Evil Angel
Anal Only, Anal Only
Anal Threesomes, Private
The Ass Factory, The Ass Factory/Jules Jordan
Asshole Fever, 21 Sextury/Adult Time/Pulse
Put It in Her Ass, Reality Kings/Pulse
Tushy Raw, Tushy Raw/Pulse
YA! Young Anal, Evil Angel

Commentary/Predicción: The Ass Factory is a subsidiary of the Cleveland Browns.

Best Anal Sex Scene

“Anal Loving Sophia Takes It in Her Tight Ass” | Tushy Raw; Sophia Burns & Vince Karter
“Anal Ramming for Chanel Camryn” | Anal Cuties 13, Hard X/Mile High; Chanel Camryn & Vince Karter
“Fuck Angela – Scene 1: Jules Jordan” | AGW/Girlfriends; Angela White & Zac Wild
“Jesse Pony Oily Latex, Anal Gaping” | Anal.Oil.Latex. 5, Evil Angel; Jesse Pony & Vince Karter
“Lilly Bell: Anal Debut” | Brazzers; Lilly Bell & Mick Blue
“Maddy’s Mood for Anal” | True Anal; Maddy May & Mike Adriano
“Oiled Up Jennifer White Gets All Her Holes Penetrated” | Bang!; Jennifer White & Vince Karter
“Slutty When Wet” | Massive Asses 13, Elegant Angel; Anna Claire Clouds & Zac Wild
“Smile Through the Painal” | Brazzers; Alexis Tae & Mick Blue
“Vanna Bardot the Anal Queen” | Jules Jordan Video; Vanna Bardot & Jules Jordan

Commentary/Predicción: Anal Loving Sophia Takes It in Her Tight Ass!

Best Anthology Movie or Collected Release

Busted 3, NSFW/Pulse
Horny Hotwife 2, Elegant Angel
Ink Motel 5, Alt Erotic
Kink Label 3, Deeper/Pulse
My Black Hotwife, Penthouse/Girlfriends
The Night Invites, Brazzers/Pulse
My Neighbor’s Bush 5, Hustler Video
Sinematic, LucidFlix
Timeless, Wicked/Pulse
Trophy Wife, Spizoo/Adult Source

Commentary/Predicción: Trophy Wife. Yes, that is a Participation Trophy.

Best Anthology Series or Free-Form Line

Cheating With the Boss, Digital Sin
Club VXN, Vixen/Pulse
Fantasy of the Month, Nubile Films
Luxure, Dorcel/Pulse
Pure Taboo, Adult Time/Pulse
Rocco’s Perverted Secretaries, Rocco Siffredi/Evil Angel
Sis Loves Me, Team Skeet
Sneaky Sex, Reality Kings/Pulse
Ultimacy, LucidFlix
Voodooed, Voodooed/Hentaied

Commentary/Predicción: Rocco’s Perverted Secretaries. Aren’t they all?

Best Art Direction

D.O.L.L.S, Transfixed/Adult Time/Pulse
Evermore, Digital Playground/Pulse
“Exploring Uranus” | TransAngels
Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Hotel Vixen Season 2, Vixen Media Group
Juicy Silver, Digital Playground/Pulse
Obscura, LucidFlix/Pulse
Project X, Digital Playground
Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse
Timeless, Wicked/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: I’m thinking Project X.

Best BDSM Movie or Collected Release

The 66th Day, Wicked Pictures
Ass Fucked Down Under, Secret Crush/EvilAngel
Bound by Mistress Julie 8, Julie Simone Productions
Chelsea Submits 3: World Tour, Chelsea Poe Productions
The Collector 8: Paige Owens, Bizarre Entertainment
Dungeon Sessions: Indoctrination, Collective Corruption
He’s in Charge 4, Digital Sin
Learn the Ropes, Sinful XXX/Pure Play
Vanessa Vega: Vicious Bitch, Severe Sex Films
Wanked & Dominated, Submissed

Commentary/Predicción: Let’s go with Ass Fucked Down Under. Fun fact: This was Colin Hay’s alternate title for the Men At Work hit.

Best Big Bust Movie or Collected Release

Beautiful Tits 10, ArchAngel/Girlfriends
Big Boob Babysitters 2, Reality Junkies/Mile High/Pulse
Big Boobs & Monster Dongs, Hustler Video
Big Naturals 78, Reality Kings/Pulse
Natural Phenomena 3, Evil Angel
Perfectly Natural 29, Porn Pros/Pulse
Stacked 13, Hard X/Mile High
Super Stacked 3, Jules Jordan Video
Titty Attack 13, Team Skeet/Pulse
Titwoman vs Titwoman, Elegant Angel

Commentary/Predicción: New Category for this year!! Titwoman vs Titwoman is better than any Marvel movie.

Best Big Butt Movie or Collected Release

Ass Worship 19, Jules Jordan Video
Big Booty Face-Sitting Nurses, Hustler Video
Big Booty Room 2, Ricky’s Room/Pulse
Big Wet Asses 31, Elegant Angel
Brazzers Butt Lift, Brazzers/Pulse
Cheeky 14, Team Skeet/Pulse
Her Rumpus Is Scrumptious 7, Lethal Hardcore
Mass Appeal, Tushy/Pulse
Monster Curves 50, Reality Kings/Pulse
My Big Ass Crush 6, Raw Attack

Commentary/Predicción: Another new category! The AVN really cares about my input!! Her Rumpus is Scrumptious 7.

Best Blowbang Scene

“Anna Claire Clouds Dark Side – Part 3: A Deep Dive Into the Oral Gauntlet Blow Bang” | Jules Jordan Video; Anna Claire Clouds
“Banana Party” | POVDreams/Little Caprice Dreams; Little Caprice
“Blowbang in the Cage!” | Brazzers; Ryan Reid
“Cali Caliente Is Slutwoman Part II – The Blowbang” | Elegant Angel; Cali Caliente
“Fuck Angela – Scene 6: Jonni Darkko” | AGW/Girlfriends; Angela White
“Kenzie Tries a New Liquid Diet” | DFXtra; Kenzie Taylor
“Molly Little’s 1st Blowbang” | Super Cute 19, Hard X/Pulse; Molly Little
“Nerdy Babe’s Locker Room Blowbang” | Brazzers; Abigaiil Morris
“Sophia Burns Blowbang, Bukkake Facials” | Wet Food 11, Darkko/Evil Angel; Sophia Burns
“Ten Hard Cocks With a Cherry on Top” | DFXtra; Cherry Kiss

Commentary/Predicción: I’m going to go with Banana Party.

Best Boy/Girl Sex Scene

“Cards on the Table – Episode 2” | Digital Playground/Pulse; Lilly Bell & Isiah Maxwell
“Cock Hungry Newbie” | Best New Starlets 2024, Elegant Angel; Chanel Camryn & Zac Wild
“Female Performer of the Year Vanna Bardot Is Unleashed” | Jules Jordan Video; Vanna Bardot & Zac Wild
“Fuck Angela – Scene 2: Mike John” | AGW/Girlfriends; Angela White & Lexington Steele
“Iris – Episode 2: Invisible” | Wicked/Pulse; Blake Blossom & Dan Damage
“Kylie Rocket Gets All the Dicking She Craves” | Natural and Bushy, Bang!/Adult Source; Kylie Rocket & Seth Gamble
“Let Me Be Your Fuck Toy!“ | Brazzers; Kimmy Granger & Mick Blue
“Nine” | Kink Label 3, Deeper/Pulse; Angel Windell & Chris Diamond
“Overachiever” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time; Gal Ritchie & Vince Karter
“The Proposal” | ForPlay Films; Nicole Kitt & Jonte

Commentary/Predicción: Cock Hungry Newbie seems like a winner.

Best Cinematography

Birth, Adult Time; Michael Vegas
The Budapest Affair, Sensual-X/Sssh; Dennis Claes
Casino Endgame, Dorcel/Pulse; Hervé Bodilis
Dirty Cops, Digital Playground; Matt Holder
Iris, Wicked/Pulse; J Wolf & Sammy Slater
Obscura, LucidFlix; Siren Obscura
The Orgasm Problem, Psychoporn; Yu Wang
Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse; Eric Shaun
Sweethearts, Digital Playground/Pulse; Lalo X
Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures; James Avalon

Commentary/Predicción: The Budapest Affair has some nice scenery.

Best Directing Portfolio – International

Hervé Bodilis
Marcello Bravo
Roberto DiSuna
Angelo Godshack
Julia Grandi
Andrej Lupin
Xavi Rocka
Rocco Siffredi
Franck Vicomte
Mark Zicha

Commentary/Predicción: FYI, the AVN has all these “International” categories to differentiate European productions from American ones. This is for the same reason the Little League World Series has an American bracket and an International bracket. It’s pure protectionism. Let’s call it Rocco Siffredi.

Best Directing Portfolio – Varied Range

Casey Calvert
Ike Diezel
Derek Dozer
Fumigalli
Seth Gamble
Ricky Greenwood
Sid Knox
Lea Lexis
Bree Mills
Jim Powers
Mike Quasar
Donnie Rock
Stella Smut
Jacky St. James
Siouxsie Q & Michael Vegas

Commentary/Predicción: “Mixed” is now “Varied Range”. WHERE IS THE CONTINUITY?!? Jim Powers is a legend but they’re giving it to Stella Smut.

Best Directing Portfolio – Narrative

Anatomik Media
James Avalon
Kayden Kross
Marvin Love
Jay Rogue
Laurent Sky
W.C. Walker
Inka Winter
Paul Woodcrest
Alan X

Commentary/Predicción: I said it last year and I’ll say it this year: They LOVE Kayden Kross.

Best Directing Portfolio – Non-Narrative

Mick Blue
Maestro Claudio
Jonni Darkko
Ricky Johnson
Jules Jordan
KGB
Mason
Pat Myne
Chris Streams
Francesca Lé & Mark Wood

Commentary/Predicción: This is Jules Jordan’s award to lose every single year. Mick Blue or Ricky Johnson may surprise, but I doubt it.

Best Directing Portfolio – Specialty

JD
Alex Nash
JohnPaul The Pope
Leigh Raven
Rodolfo
Tristan Seagal
Joey Silvera
Stacy Lyle & The Sinematographer
Aiden Starr
Buddy Wood

Commentary/Predicción: Let’s call it Aiden Starr.

Best Double-Penetration Sex Scene

“Anna Claire Clouds Dark Side – Part 2: Anna’s First DP” | Jules Jordan Video; Anna Claire Clouds, Jules Jordan & Zac Wild
“Big Tit Babe Lily Starfire Enjoys Her First DP, DVP” | DP Diva; Lily Starfire, Milan Ponjevic & Vince Karter
“Gia Derza Double-Anal & Squirt 3-Way” | Double Anal Angels 2, Darkko/Evil Angel; Gia Derza, Hollywood Cash & Rob Piper
“Learning How to Reid” | Brazzers; Ryan Reid, Mick Blue & Hollywood Cash
“A Loving Home Environment” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse; Madi Collins, Tommy Pistol & Seth Gamble
“Making a Living Out of DP’s” | DFXtra; Charlie Forde, Slim Poke & Chocolate God
“Payback’s a Bitch – Episode 4” | Digital Playground; Kira Noir, Ricky Johnson & Alex Mack
“She Wanted to Be Punished” | The Predatory Woman 2, Deeper/Pulse; Cherry Kiss, Seth Gamble & Vince Karter
“Threesomes 4 – Scene 1” | Blacked/Pulse; Summer Vixen, Jax Slayher & Hollywood Cash
“Vanessa Sky Has a Double Penetration Fetish” | The Ass Factory; Vanessa Sky, Vince Karter & Zac Wild

Commentary/Predicción: Leah Michelle says it’s Learning How to Reid.

Best Editing

American MILF, MILFY; Duboko
Birth, Adult Time; Clit Eastwood
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions; Jeffrey John Hart & Kyle McQueen
Compulsion 20th Anniversary Director’s Cut, Elegant Angel; Axel Braun
D.O.L.L.S, Transfixed/Adult Time/Pulse; Michael Hues
Evermore, Digital Playground/Pulse; Papa Bitch, Steve McQueef, Jep Lamela & Colonel Cooch
The Orgasm Problem, Psychoporn; Yu Wang
Project X, Digital Playground; Papa Bitch, Boris Dongson & Mz Montage
Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures; James Avalon
We Can Build Her, Wicked/Pulse; Merlin L’emmancheur

Commentary/Predicción: American MILF is going to win a lot of awards this year. Including this one.

Best Featurette

“Abandoned” | Pampering Our Sitter, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions
“Coach Driller” | MissaX
“Ghostbusters XXX: A Porn Parody” | Cosplayground
“Gorgons & Goddesses” | Ten15Group
“A Loving Home Environment” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
“Pigeonholed” | The Predatory Woman 2, Deeper/Pulse
“The Prize: A Codi Vore Story” | 4-Player Games, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
“Sunset Serendipity” | Sensual-X/Sssh
“Swarm” | Wasteland Studios

Commentary/Predicción: If you know what a Gorgon is, you get ten points. They and the Goddesses get the award.

Best Female Mixed-Age Movie or Collected Release

Couples Seeking Teens 23, Reality Junkies/Mile High/Pulse
Lesbian Daughter In-Laws 5, Girlfriends Films
Lesbian Stepmother 8, Sweetheart/Mile High/Pulse
MILF Yoga Instructors Love Pussy, Penthouse/Girlfriends
Moms Teach Sex 32, Nubiles/Pulse
My Friend’s Lesbian Daughter 2, Girlfriends Films
My Lesbian Mother-in-Law 3, Hustler Video
Not Without My Daughter 4, Mature XXX/Pulse
Stepmoms With Stepdaughters, Digital Sin
We’re the Taylors, MYLF/New Sensations

Commentary/Predicción: It has to be Mom’s Teach Sex 32!

Best Foursome/Orgy Scene

“20 for 20” | Brazzers; Angela White, Cherie DeVille, Alexis Fawx, Monique Alexander, Luna Star, Ryan Reid, Gal Ritchie, Queenie Sateen, Kira Noir, Kayley Gunner, Abigaiil Morris, Lily Lou, JMac, Manuel Ferrara, Mick Blue, Keiran Lee, Van Wylde, Alex Jones, Ricky Johnson & Scott Nails
“American MILF Episode 5” | MILFY; Maitland Ward, Phoenix Marie, Brandi Love, Christy Canyon, Serenity Cox & Jason Luv
“Besties Chanel and Demi Get Creampied” | Blacked Raw; Chanel Camryn, Demi Hawks, Sheem the Dream, Richard Mann & Jamie Knoxx
“Climax 4” | Dorcel; Ana Foxxx, August Skye, Kendra Sunderland, Kenna James, Nicole Doshi, Valentina Nappi, Charles Dera, Isiah Maxwell & Seth Gamble
“Don’t Waste Your Valentine Seed” | Mom Swap/Swappz; Gigi Dior, Millie Morgan, Elias Cash & Nick Strokes
“Going Three for Three” | Ivy’s Room, Ricky’s Room; Ivy Lebelle, Connie Perignon, Queenie Sateen, Ricky Johnson, Chocolate God & Mazee the Goat
“Lexi Lore’s Rebound Gangbang” | DFXtra; Lexi Lore, Charlie Forde, Ace Hardz, Donny Sins, Lawson Jones, Scotty P., Slim Poke, Tee Reel, Goldey & Chocolate God
“Party in Willow’s Room” | Willow’s Room, Ricky’s Room; Willow Ryder, Anna Claire Clouds, Baby Gemini, Jay Hefner, Derek Savage & Ricky Johnson
“Project X – Episode 4” | Digital Playground; Cherie DeVille, Luna Star, Mick Blue & Alex Jones
“Sinners Anonymous” | Modern-Day Sins/Adult Time; Christy Love, Kimmy Kimm, Hime Marie, Madi Collins, Vanessa Vega, Victoria Voxxx, Ember Snow & Lucas Frost

Commentary/Predicción: Remember kids, an orgy has to have at least four people. The winner is Project X.

Best Gangbang Scene

“Anna Claire Clouds Dark Side – Part 4: 9-Man Gang Bang Challenge” | Jules Jordan Video; Anna Claire Clouds, Damon Dice, Jax Slayher, Hollywood Cash, Vince Karter, John Strong, Milan Ponjevic, Chocolate God & Nade Nasty
“Bang, Bang, the Gang’s All Here” | Willow’s Room, Ricky’s Room; Willow Ryder, Ricky Johnson, Jay Hefner, Derek Savage, Chocolate God & Hollywood Cash
“Deep Into Blu Part 5: Jewelz Blu’s Pirate Gangbang” | Elegant Angel; Jewelz Blu, Prince Yahshua, John Strong, Scotty P, Lawson Jones & Charles Dera
“Did Cherie Fuck the Whole Neighborhood?” | Going All Out With a Gang Bang, Brazzers/Pulse; Cherie DeVille, Hollywood Cash, Alex Jones, Alex Mack, Mick Blue & Dan Damage
“The Gangbang of Alex Grey” | DP Masters 9, Jules Jordan Video; Alex Grey, Hollywood Cash, Chocolate God, Nade Nasty, Milan Ponjevic, John Strong, Eddie Jaye, Slim Poke & Alex Mack
“Gimme Gimme Gimme a GangBang” | Going All Out With a Gang Bang, Brazzers/Pulse; Liz Jordan, Mick Blue, John Strong, Mazee the Goat, Air Thugger, Dan Damage & Hollywood Cash
“Jennifer White Overload Sc. 3 Gangbang” | Darkko/Evil Angel; Jennifer White, Vince Karter, Milan Ponjevic, John Strong, Victor Ray, Chocolate God, Slim Poke, Scotty P, Nade Nasty & Donny Sins
“Low Rider” | Level Up 2, Blacked/Pulse; Violet Myers, Jamie Knoxx, Hollywood Cash, Richard Mann, Don Sudan, Slim Poke, Sheem the Dream, Donny Sins & Ray Black
“Repurposed” | Up to and Including Her Limits 4, Deeper/Pulse; Emma Hix, Seth Gamble, Vince Karter & Dante Colle
“Tip Your Waiters! Jesse Pony Gets a Five-Cock Attitude Adjustment” | Hardcore Gangbang/Kink; Jesse Pony, Big Tre, Eddie Jaye, Jon Jon, Richard Mann & Will Tile

Commentary/Predicción: Did Cherie Fuck the Whole Neighborhood? Yes and she got an award for it.

Best Girl/Girl Sex Scene

“Caught With Cummy Feet” | Moms Lick Teens 37, Reality Kings/Pulse; Misty Stone & Nicole Kitt
“Domme Lumi Gags and Suspends Her Naughty Sub Vanessa” | Slayed; Lumi Ray & Vanessa Sky
“Hot Lesbian Babes Eat Each Other” | Titwoman vs Titwoman, Elegant Angel; Octavia Red & Blake Blossom
“Learning the Basics” | Girlsway/Adult Time; Demi Hawks & Explicit Kait
“Lesbian Superstars 4 – Scene 3” | Lesbian X/Mike High; Anna Claire Clouds & Maddy May
“Natural Beauty” | Lesbian X/XEmpire; Molly Little & Jill Kassidy
“Playing Doubles” | When Girls Play/Twistys; Kira Noir & Olivia Jay
“Serviced in Her Room” | When Girls Play 50, Twistys/Pulse; Chanel Camryn & Scarlit Scandal
“Twisted Passions 34 – Scene 3” | Girlfriends Films; Sera Ryder & Myra Moans
“Wanted Ad” | AllHerLuv; Angel Windell & Serena Hill

Commentary/Predicción: Rex Ryan is disgusted with you for thinking any other movie will win.

Best Gonzo/Cinemacore Movie or Collected Release

Angels in Pantyhose 3, BAM Visions/Evil Angel
Day With a Pornstar 14, Brazzers/Pulse
Fuck Her Wet, Porn Pros/Pulse
Hardcore Bombshells 2, Hard X/Pulse
Natural Chemistry, Sex on Sight/Mile High
Obscura, LucidFlix/Pulse
Perfect Tens 2, Dark X/Pulse
Performers of the Year 2024, Elegant Angel
Phantasia, Wicked/Pulse
Raw and Real 7, Pornforce/Full Porn Network/New Sensations

Commentary/Predicción: ideally, you do want to Fuck Her Wet.

Best Gonzo/Cinemacore Series or Free-Form Line

Amateur Allure, Amateur Allure
Bellesa House, Bellesa Plus
Blacked Raw, Blacked Raw/Pulse
Cum Fiesta, Reality Kings
Hookup Hotshot: E-Girls, Hotshot/Evil Angel
Irresistible Beauties, Private
Nympho, Nympho
Size Does Matter, Porn Pros/Pulse
Slippery When Wet, Bang!
Superstar Room, Ricky’s Room/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Cum Fiesta. Olé!

Best Hair & Makeup

Birth, Adult Time; Bawdy by Gabe
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions; Olya Tizer & Bianca López
Evermore, Digital Playground/Pulse; Liss Lacao & Sarah
Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse; Azzie
“Jane Doe: A Ricky Greenwood Spotlight” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time; Alexxx Moon & Raven Lux
Juicy Silver, Digital Playground/Pulse; Lexi Love, Lucy Muradyan & Sofia
“Luminati Ep. 1 – Calypso” | LucidFlix; Lucyritam
Project X, Digital Playground; Azzie & Lexi Morin
Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse; Liss Lacao, Leanne & Sarah
Timeless, Wicked/Pulse; Noelia Marine & Azzie

Commentary/Predicción: Birth. It’s hard to comb babies’ hair.

Best Ingénue Movie or Collected Release

Cheerleaders Behaving Badly, Elegant Angel
Cheerleaders in Heat 3, New Sensations
Coach’s Secret Sessions, Nubiles/Pulse
Girl Next Door Likes It Dirty 27, Porn Pros/Pulse
Super Cute 18, Hard X/Mile High
Teenage Nymphos 4, Lethal Hardcore
Teens Love Huge Cocks 65, Reality Kings/Pulse
Young & Beautiful 13, Vixen/Pulse
Young and Natural, Spizoo/Adult Source
The Young & the Bushless 4, Bang!

Commentary/Predicción: The Young and the Bushless is genius.

Best Ingénue Series or Free-Form Line

Amateurs Caught on Cam, Net Video Girls/Pulse
BangBros 18, Bang Bros
Brand New Girls, Elegant Angel
Don’t Break Me, Mofos/Pulse
Exxxtra Small, Team Skeet
My Sister’s Hot Friend, Naughty America
Real Teens, Bang!
She’s So Small, Porn Pros
Young Fantasies, Vixen/Pulse
Young Girl Seductions, Pure Passion/Digital Sin

Commentary/Predicción: I think that My Sister’s Hot Friend takes it.

Best International All-Girl Sex Scene

“From Another World” | Caprice Divas/Little Caprice Dreams; Little Caprice & Tiffany Tatum
“A Girls Best Friend” | Girls Only Porn/Nubile Films; Lilly Bella, Lovita Fate & Olivia Sparkle
“The Immortal Gift” | MixedX; Cherry Candle, Nata Gold, Clemence Audiard & Marina Gold
“Impulses 5 – Scene 4” | Dorcel/Pulse; Angie Lynx & Mary Popiense
“Inner Calling” | Lavish 4, Slayed/Pulse; Kelly Collins & Vanessa Alessia
“Lesbian Goddesses Agatha and Freya” | EnjoyX; Agatha Vega & Freya Mayer
“Lustful Serenity” | SexArt/MetArt; Sirena Milano & Christy White
“Next Level” | Girls Only Porn/Nubile Films; Barbie Brill & Matty Mila Perez
“Open Love” | Viv Thomas/MetArt; Veronica Leal & Amirah Adara
“What Is Love – Scene 2” | Dorcel/Pulse; Venera Maxima & Lia Lin

Commentary/Predicción: Lustful Serenity now.

Best International Anal Sex Scene

“Angie Lynx Deep-Throated, Gaping MILF” | Desperate Anal MILFs 5, David Perry/Evil Angel; Angie Lynx & Lorenzo Viota
“Ass Packed” | ButtMuse/Little Caprice Dreams; Martina Smeraldi & Marcello Bravo
“Brazzers Butt Lift: Part 3” | Brazzers/Pulse; La Paisita Oficial, Xander Corvus & Potro De Bilbao
“Buttsex Seduction” | Deep Anal Appetite, Asshole Fever/21 Sextury/Adult Time/Pulse; Veronica Leal & Lorenzo Viota
“Casino Endgame – Scene 1” | Dorcel/Pulse; Maya Woulfe & Jimmy Bud
“Mutual Attraction” | Views 6, Tushy/Pulse; Agatha Vega & Vince Karter
“Scandalous – Scene 1” | Digital Playground/Pulse; Ella Hughes & Xander Corvus
“Sex Guru” | SugarBabes.tv; Lisa Pilvedor & Alex Fire
“Venera Maxima MVP DP” | Sinematica; Venera Maxima, Erik Everhard & Ian Scott
“Vittoria Divine Hotwife’s DP Threesome” | Double Penetration Temptation 4, David Perry/Evil Angel; Vittoria Divine, Erik Everhard & Jimmy Bud

Commentary/Predicción: Ass Packed.

Best International Boy/Girl Sex Scene

“Emiri Momota Fuck, BJ & Rim Job Doc” | Rocco’s Sex Clinic: Treatment 10, Rocco Siffred/Evil Angel; Emiri Momota & Tommy Gold
“Gorgeous Baddie Shelena Can’t Resist a Married Man” | Young Fantasies 12, Vixen/Pulse; Shelena & Matthew Meier
“How to Fuck Your Gay Friend” | Sugarbabes.tv; Shery More & Sakis Dermatis
“I Wanna Try Something New” | Xpervo/Little Caprice Dreams; Eva Generosi & Marcello Bravo
“Impulses 5 – Scene 5” | Dorcel/Pulse; Agatha Vega & Kristof Cale
“Lili Charmelle Deepthroat, Hip Grind” | Skinny, But Not Teeny! 2, Rocco Siffredi/Evil Angel; Lili Charmelle & Vince Karter
“My Deepest Wishes Part Two” | Xpervo/Little Caprice Dreams; Matty Mila Perez & Marcello Bravo
“Mystic Melodies” | SexArt/MetArt; Kama Oxi & Charlie Dean
“Sultry Singer Nicole Seduces Her Longtime Crush” | Vixen; Nicole Kitt & Alberto Blanco
“Sunset Ignites Passion” | EnjoyX; Andrea Retali & Nestor Zarc

Commentary/Predicción: Mystic Melodies. And pizza.

Best International Group Sex Scene

“Apolonia and Talia: Whispers of Forbidden” | EnjoyX; Apolonia Lapiedra, Talia Mint & Alberto Blanco
“The Budapest Affair – Scene 4” | Sensual-X/Sssh; Cherry Candle, Talia Mint & Dave Candle
“Casino Endgame – Scene 5” | Dorcel/Pulse; Carollina Cherry, Ariana Cortez, Shalina Devine, Selva Lapiedra, Victoria Nova, Anita Rover, Zaawaadi, Clémence Audiard, Jimmy Bud, Tommy Cabrio, Max Deeds, James Duval, Luke Hardy, Ricky Mancini & Alex Romero
“Cherry Picking – Scene 3” | Private/Pure Play; Cherry Kiss, Marie Berger, Vince Karter & Jimmy Bud
“Evermore – Episode 4” | Digital Playground/Pulse; Sophie Reade, Agatha Vega, Danny D & Xander Corvus
“Hotel Vixen Season 2 Episode 9: Going Stag” | Tushy/Vixen; Lumi Ray, Megan Love, Sia Siberia, Christian Clay, Jimmy Bud & Marco Bull
“Ivy & Nicole 6-on-2 DAP Clusterfuck” | Angels of Hardcore, Godshack/EvilAngel; Ivy Maddox, Nicole Black, Brian Ragnastone, Deny Lou, Mark Dozer, Neeo, Thomas & Thomas Lee
“Lia’s Big Step Family 2 – Scene 2” | Rocco Siffredi/Evil Angel; Charlie Forde, Lia Lin, Elisa Calvi & Vince Karter
“My Deepest Wishes Part One” | Xpervo/Little Caprice Dreams; Matty Mila Perez, Marcello Bravo & Max Dior
“Wagered Affairs” | Club VXN 14, Vixen/Pulse; Eve Sweet, Agatha Vega, Alberto Blanco & Matthew Meier

Commentary/Predicción: The Budapest Affair, Scene 4.

Best International Production

The Budapest Affair, Sensual-X/Sssh
Casino Endgame, Dorcel/Pulse
Evermore, Digital Playground/Pulse
Hotel Vixen Season 2, Vixen Media Group
Idol, Dorcel/Pulse
Like This!, Joybear Pictures
Mountain Crush 3: No Limits, Private/Pure Play
The Orgasm Problem, Psychoporn
Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse
The Sex Artists, Rocco Siffredi/Evil Angel

Commentary/Predicción: It’s their version of Best Foreign Film. It will be The Budapest Affair.

Best Leading Actor

Chad Alva, Alive, Dorcel
Robby Apples, So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse
Nathan Bronson, Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse
Danny D, Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse
Charles Dera, Iris, Wicked/Pulse
Seth Gamble, Birth, Adult Time
Alex Jones, Sweethearts, Digital Playground/Pulse
Ryan Mclane, Side Hustle, Sweet Sinner/Mile High/Pulse
Scott Nails, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Codey Steele, My Best Friend’s Girl 2, Sweet Sinner/Mile High

Commentary/Predicción: How do you like them Robby Apples?

Best Leading Actress

Lilly Bell, Last Splash, Erika Lust
Blake Blossom, Iris, Wicked/Pulse
Casey Calvert, Birth, Adult Time
Cherie DeVille, Project X, Digital Playground
Reagan Foxx, Let Me In, Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Nicole Kitt, Dirty Cops, Digital Playground
Adria Rae, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Lumi Ray, Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse
Victoria Voxxx, Alive, Dorcel
Maitland Ward, American MILF, MILFY

Commentary/Predicción: Cherie DeVille or Maitland Ward will win. I choo choo choose Cherie.

Best Male Newcomer

Dave Candle
Alex Charger
Ken Feels
Chocolate God
Kai Jaxon
Jodie Johnson
Rocket Powers
Ethan Seeks
Parker Sims
Sheem the Dream

Commentary/Predicción: Sheem the Dream.

Best MILF Movie or Collected Release

American MILF, MILFY
Anal Cougar Country, Darkko/Evil Angel
Coddling My Boy, Devil’s/Pulse
Crazy Fucking MILF Maids 2, Hustler Video
Empty Nest, MYLF/New Sensations
M.I.L.F.S, Dorcel/Pulse
MILF Housewives Get DPed, DP Diva/Adult Source
MILF Performers of the Year 2024, Elegant Angel
A MILFs Desires 3, Spizoo/Adult Source
Stepmom Sex Ed 7, Nubiles/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: American MILF is winning awards, I’m telling you!

Best MILF/Female Mixed-Age Series or Free-Form Line

Ask Your Mother, MYLF
Desperate Anal MILFs, David Perry/Evil Angel
Family Swap, Nubiles Porn
Lesbian Step-Daughters, Girlfriends Films
Mommy’s Boy, Adult Time
Mommy’s Girl, Girlsway/Adult Time
My First Sex Teacher, Naughty America
Moms Bang Teens, Reality Kings/Pulse
Moms Lick Teens, Reality Kings/Pulse
Shoplyfter MYLF, MYLF

Commentary/Predicción: So many good choices here. My personal favourite is Shoplyfter MILF.

Best Multi-Partner Movie or Collected Release

Angels of Hardcore, Godshack/Evil Angel
Consumed by Desire 3, Bellesa/Pulse
Cum Swapping Threesomes 5, Doghouse/Mile High/Pulse
Double Anal Angels 2, Darkko/Evil Angel
DP Masters 9, Jules Jordan Video
Luxure: My Wife’s Climax, Dorcel/Pulse
My DP 7, Tushy/Pulse
Take Care of Yourself, Devil’s/Pulse
Threesome Room 3, Ricky’s Room
Threesomes 4, Blacked/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Cum Swapping Threesomes 5

Best Music

Alive, Docel
American MILF, MILFY
Birth, Adult Time
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions
Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Last Splash, Erika Lust
“Sultry Singer Nicole Seduces Her Longtime Crush” | Vixen
Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures
“Swarm” | Wasteland Studios
Timeless, Wicked/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Please. Alive.

Best New International Starlet

Betzz
Lily Blossom
Cherry Candle
Alice Hernandez
Ada Lapiedra
Emiri Momota
Liz Ocean
Kama Oxi
Anita Rover
Barbie Rous
Sandralyd
Merida Sat
Sladyen Skaya
Bella Spark
Ashby Winter

Commentary/Predicción: Emiri Momota

Best New Production Brand

Arousins
Cosplayground
Darkshade
Dick HD Daily
EnjoyX
Goon Muse
Goth Girlfriends
Legendary X
Lil D’s Playhouse
LucidFlix
Red Bottom Productions
Sex on Sight
Tag Team POV
The Artemixxx
VRSpy

Commentary/Predicción: Red Bottom Productions

Best New Starlet

Brianna Arson
Dan Dangler
Hayley Davies
Kelsey Kane
Khloe Kingsley
Raven Lane
Rissa May
Myra Moans
Sinatra Monroe
Millie Morgan
Gal Ritchie
Jasmine Sherni
Addison Vodka
Madison Wilde
Angel Windell

Commentary/Predicción: Gal Ritchie. No relation.

Best Niche Movie or Collected Release

Creampie Cuties 11, Doghouse/Mile High/Pulse
Cuck ‘Em While They’re Young 3, Devil’s/Pulse
Finish in My Ass 2, Brazzers/Pulse
My Tattoo Girls 5, Alt Erotic/Pulse
Sloppy Anal Play, Secret Crush/Evil Angel
Slutty BBWs 6, Slut Inspection/Full Porn Network/New Sensations
Squirt for Days 5, Evil Angel
Stepdad Gets Fucked 5, Severe Sex Films
THICQ, THICQer, THICQest, THICQ/Creation of Adam
Tiffany Watson Is Squirtwoman, Elegant Angel

Commentary/Predicción: Stepdad Gets Fucked 5

Best Niche Series or Free-Form Line

Breed Me, Breed Me/Nookies
Breeding Material, Team Skeet
Dungeon Sex, Kink
Evolved Fights, Evolved Fights
Hentaied, Hentaied
How Women Orgasm, Up Close/Adult Time
Mean Feet Fetish, Mean Feet Fetish
Mom Wants to Breed, Nubile Films/Pulse
Transnificent, Transnificent/Grooby
Treat Yourself, Twistys/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: How Women Orgasm. It’s a mystery flick.

Best Non-Sex Performance

Shawn Alff, We Can Build Her, Wicked/Pulse
Julia Ann, The Mistress 6, Sweet Sinner/Mile High/Pulse
Billy Denwood, American MILF, MILFY
Seth Gamble, “The Prize: A Codi Vore Story” | 4-Player Games, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
Bree Mills, D.O.L.L.S, Transfixed/Adult Time/Pulse
Tommy Pistol, Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse
Lumi Ray, “Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions
Aiden Riley, Fuck Angela, AGW/Girlfriends
Daniel Shar, Birth, Adult Time
Maya Woulfe, Spun, Girlsway/Adult Time

Commentary/Predicción: This is going to an old performer from back in the day. I’m going with Julia Ann.

Best Oral Movie or Collected Release

BJ Raw, BJ Raw
Get Your Knees Dirty, Get Your Knees Dirty/MorgasmXXX
Gloryhole Secrets, Gloryhole Secrets
Jaw Breakerz, Jaw Breakerz/Nookies
Mommy Blows Best, Blowpass
Only Teen Blowjobs, Blowpass
Sloppy Head, Darkko/Evil Angel
Swallow Salon, Swallow Salon
Swallowed, Swallowed
Throated, Blowpass

Commentary/Predicción: Mommy Blows Best.

Best Oral Sex Scene

“Brianna & Sera Get Spit Soaked” | Swallowed; Brianna Arson, Sera Ryder & Mike Adriano
“Chanel Camryn Hot Testicle Tongue Bath” | Suck Balls 6, Darkko/Evil Angel; Chanel Camryn, Jonni Darkko & Milan Ponjevic
“Emma Rosie Is a Teen Cumslut” | Jules Jordan Video; Emma Rosie, Jules Jordan & Mike Stud
“Hailey Rose Blowjobs & Deep Titty Fuck” | Sloppy Head 8, Darkko/EvilAngel; Hailey Rose, Hollywood Cash & Jonni Darkko
“I Fucking Love Sucking Dick” | This Girl Sucks/Team Skeet; Nicole Aria & Ike Diezel
“Oral Therapy” | MYLF Blows/MYLF; Angelina Moon & Ike Diezel
“Skyler & Rissa Spit Swap on a Dick” | Swallowed; Rissa May, Skyler Storm & Mike Adriano
“Swallow Salon Introduces Cecelia Taylor” | Swallow Salon; Cecelia Taylor & Kid Damage
“Tinder Date” | POVDreams/Little Caprice Dreams; Little Caprice, Eve Sweet & Marcello Bravo
“Willow’s Willing” | Only Teen Blowjobs/Blowpass; Willow Ryder & Celtic Iron

Commentary/Predicción: I Fucking Love Sucking Dick! That’s what she said!

Best POV Sex Scene

“Big Booty Baddie Violet Myers Cum Countdown” | Mr. Lucky POV; Violet Myers & Mr. Lucky
“Cock Craving Cutie Chanel Camryn Cums Like Crazy” | Mr. Lucky POV; Chanel Camryn & Mr. Lucky
“Cold Hard Steele” | POV Life/Team Skeet; Valerica Steele & Ike Diezel
“Emma Hix POV Anal” | Jules Jordan Video; Emma Hix & Jules Jordan
“Extreme Orgasm” | StreetFuck/Little Caprice Dreams; Matty Mila Perez & Marcello Bravo
“Foursome and Cum Swapping With Hayley Davies and Maddie Miller” | Tag Team POV; Hayley Davies, Maddie Miller, Alex Mack & Tyler D
“Hiding My Step-Sister’s Glasses” | Sister Trick/Is This Real?!/Adult Time; Leana Lovings & Nathan Bronson
“Kayley Gunner Submits to a Pussy Pounding” | First Class POV; Kayley Gunner & Alex Mack
“The Panty Problem” | Perv Mom/MYLF; Chloe Amour & Joshua Lewis
“Scarlett Alexis Enjoys a Steamy Vaginal and Anal Pounding” | First Class POV; Scarlett Alexis & Alex Mack

Commentary/Predicción: Cock Craving Cutie Chanel Camryn Cums Like Crazy. The Alliterate’s choice.

Best Screenplay – Feature – Extended Work

American MILF, MILFY; Kayden Kross
Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse; Shawn Alff
Birth, Adult Time; Bree Mills
If You Love Me…, Adam & Eve Pictures; James Avalon
Iris, Wicked/Pulse; Seth Gamble & Em
Last Splash, Erika Lust; Casey Calvert, Mark Logan & Lieu Van Nomen
Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse; Kelly Kay & Jon Drexler
So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse; Mike Quasar
Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures; Eddie Nova
Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures; Wit Maverick

Commentary/Predicción: American MILF.

Best Screenplay – Featurette

“Abandoned” | Pampering Our Sitter, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse; Bree Mills & Seth Gamble
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions; Kyle McQueen, Tanner Moody & Jeffrey John Hart
“Coach Driller” | MissaX; Missa X & Maddy Burton
“Gorgons & Goddesses” | Ten15Group; Ariel Demure
“A Lie of Omission” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time; Lapis Afterglow
“A Loving Home Environment” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse; Lapis Afterglow
“Pampering Our Sitter” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse; Midnight
“Pigeonholed” | The Predatory Woman 2, Deeper/Pulse; Kayden Kross
“The Prize: A Codi Vore Story” | 4-Player Games, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse; Codi Vore
“Swarm” | Wasteland Studios; Ava Sinclair

Commentary/Predicción: Holly Randall is great. Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu

Best Solo/Tease Performance

“All Summer Long” | Twistys; Dan Dangler
“Anna Claire Clouds: Dark Side – Part 3” | Jules Jordan Video; Anna Claire Clouds
“Brenna McKenna Fists Her Pussy” | Ink Motel 5, Alt Erotica; Brenna McKenna
“Feeling Her Friend’s Boyfriend” | Toy With Me/Adult Time; Chanel Camryn
“Fuck Angela – Scene 3: Aiden Riley” | AGW/Girlfriends; Angela White
“Gal & the Machines” | Fucking Machines/Kink; Gal Ritchie
“Maya Woulfe: Squirting Fuckfest, and Sybian Orgasms!” | Fucking Machines/Kink; Maya Woulfe
“On the Rocks” | Treat Yourself 16, Twistys/Pulse; Ryan Reid
“That’s One Way to Workout” | Secret Crush/Evil Angel; Scarlet Chase
“Wednesday XXX: A Porn Parody” | Cosplayground; Alex Coal

Commentary/Predicción: Fuck Angela – Scene 3: Aiden Riley

Best Star Showcase

All or Nothing: A Hailey Rose Showcase, Hailey Rose Visuals/Adult Time
Anna Claire Clouds: Dark Side, Jules Jordan Video
Cadet Khloe, Team Skeet/Pulse
Cali Caliente Is Slutwoman, Elegant Angel
Cumming to L.A., Cherry Kiss/EvilAngel
Fuck Angela, AGW/Girlfriends
The Hunger, Wicked Pictures
Kira Noir on Display, Brazzers
Sheena Shaw: Ultimate Anal Queen, Darkko/EvilAngel
Willow’s Room, Ricky’s Room

Commentary/Predicción: Cumming to LA. And meeting Balls.

Best Supporting Actor

Robby Apples, Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures
Nathan Bronson, Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures
Xander Corvus, Evermore, Digital Playground/Pulse
Seth Gamble, So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse
Alex Jones, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Scott Nails, Dirty Cops, Digital Playground
Ramon Nomar, Dysfunctional Family Values 2: Family First, Family Hookups/Metro
Derrick Pierce, Amuse Bouche, Dorcel/Pulse
Tommy Pistol, So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse
Zac Wild, Sweethearts, Digital Playground/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Robby Apples.

Best Supporting Actress

Monique Alexander, Project X, Digital Playground
Chanel Camryn, Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures
Vicki Chase, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Kimmy Granger, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Selena Ivy, Last Splash, Erika Lust
Sophia Locke, Alive, Docel
Leana Lovings, Birth, Adult Time
Freya Parker, Spun, Girlsway/Adult Time
Shay Sights, Let Me In, Pure Taboo/Adult Time
Jennifer White, Dirty Cops, Digital Playground

Commentary/Predicción: Monique Alexander. Oldie but goodie.

Best Taboo Relations Movie or Collected Release

0-Limit Stepfam Slams, Hustler Video
Back to the Cooter, Crave/Pulse
Cum Swapping Sisters 6, Nubiles/Pulse
Dirty Talkin’ Stepdaughters 15, Lethal Hardcore
In-Laws 2, Family Sinners/Mile High/Pulse
Lia’s Big Step Family 2, Rocco Siffredi/Evil Angel
My Horny Step-Sister 3, Reality Junkies/Mile High/Pulse
My Stepdad Makes Me Cum, Penthouse/Girlfriends
Seduced by My Sibling 4, Family Hookups/Metro
Taboo Family Affairs 15, Blazed Studios/Pulse

Commentary/Predicción: Is the Stepmother thing played out? I wonder if it’s all stepdads now. My Stepdad Makes Me Cum

Best Tag-Team Sex Scene

“And the Winner Is…” | Performers of the Year 2024, Elegant Angel; Vanna Bardot, Zac Wild & Isiah Maxwell
“Come Play With Us” | Exxxtra Small/Team Skeet; Madi Collins, Danny Mountain & Axel Haze
“Destiny Does Damage in Hollywood” | Threesome Room 3, Ricky’s Room; Destiny Mira, Hollywood Cash & Dan Damage
“Doubling Up on the Studying Slut” | Brazzers; Sinatra Monroe, Mick Blue & Van Wylde
“Emergency Press Cumference” | Brazzers; Alexis Fawx, Charles Dera & Ricky Johnson
“It’s Double Trouble for Xxlayna Marie” | Jules Jordan Video; Xxlayna Marie, Zac Wild & Vince Karter
“Luxure: My Wife’s Climax – Scene 2” | Dorcel/Pulse; Lilly Bell, Seth Gamble & Robby Apples
“Naughty MILF Penny Risks It All” | Blacked; Penny Barber, Isiah Maxwell & Hollywood Cash
“Preserving Our New Lifestyle” | Pure Taboo/Adult Time; Olive Glass, Isiah Maxwell & Hollywood Cash
“Wicked Game” | Blacked Raw; Maitland Ward, Jay Hefner & Benz Brown

Commentary/Predicción: Penny Barber is also great. Naughty MILF Penny Risks It All

Best Threeway Sex Scene

“Birthday Threesome” | Team Skeet; Skyler Storm, Penelope Woods & Vince Karter
“Broken Butterfly: The Perfect Shade of Blu” | Holly Randall Productions; Jewelz Blu, Charlotte Sins & Codey Steele
“Chanel Camryn and Aria Valencia Return to Amateur Allure for a Hot Valentine’s Threesome” | Amateur Allure; Chanel Camryn, Aria Valencia & Codey Steele
“Dean Melissa Disciplines Naughty Vanna and Hollywood” | MILFY; Melissa Stratton, Vanna Bardot & Hollywood Cash
“Dysfunctional Family Values 2: Family First – Scene 2” | Family Hookups/Metro; Anna Claire Clouds, Aubree Valentine & Ramon Nomar
“Gold Diggers – Episode 5” | Digital Playground/Pulse; Kimmy Granger, Adria Rae & Seth Gamble
“Making a Sexy Sandwhich” | Willow’s Room, Ricky’s Room; Willow Ryder, Ameena Green & Ricky Johnson
“Luminati Ep. 2 – Andromeda” | LucidFlix; Kylie Rocket, Vanessa Sky & Seth Gamble
“Phatasia Episode 4: Nymphs” | Wicked/Pulse; Liz Jordan, Xxlayna Marie & Seth Gamble
“Slut Puppies 17 – Scene 3” | Jules Jordan Video; Kiara Cole, Braylin Bailey & Jules Jordan

Commentary/Predicción: The Maestro knows it’s Making a Sexy Sandwhich

Best Three-Way Sex Scene

“All In” | Three V3, Deeper/Pulse; Jane Wilde, Avery Black & Troy Francisco
“Appetite for Orgasm” | Vanessa’s Room, Ricky’s Room; Vanessa Sky, Blake Blossom & Ricky Johnson
“Jules Jordan’s Three Ways 2 – Scene 2” | Jules Jordan Video; Kiara Cole, Emma Rosie & Jules Jordan
“Machine Gunner – Episode 3” | Digital Playground/Pulse; Kayley Gunner, Luna Star & Damon Dice
“The Mechanic’s Messy Wife” | Brazzers; Gianna Dior, Bella Rolland & Alex Mack
“Practice Makes Perfect” | Nubile Films; Chanel Camryn, Liz Jordan & Milan
“Raw, Real Threesome” | Performers of the Year 2023, Elegant Angel; Anna Claire Clouds, April Olsen & Isiah Maxwell
“Reckless Episode 8: What’s in the Bag?” | Wicked/Pulse; Ivy Wolfe, Ryan Reid & Seth Gamble
“VR Slut Cheats With the Lawn Guy” | Reality Kings; Scarlit Scandal, Maddy May & Mick Blue
“We Love Us More Than You” | Dare We Share 2, Devil’s/Pulse; Lulu Chu, Kylie Rocket & Tommy Pistol

Commentary/Predicción: All In. Literally.

Best Virtual Reality Sex Scene – Group

“The Dark Side” | VR Bangers; Scarlett Alexis, Blake Blossom & Ryan Driller
“Goth Girls: Tea Party” | SLR Originals/SexLikeReal; Angel Windell, Lola Fae & John Strong
“Locker Room Incident 2” | RealJamVR; Hime Marie, Avery Black & Kyle Mason
“Medical Checkup: Brenna McKenna and Victoria Voxxx” | PornCornVR; Brenna McKenna & Victoria Voxxx & Ryan Driller
“New Year 2024 Is Here and Melissa Stratton & Octavia Red Are Going to Start It With a Naughty Bang” | 2 Chicks Same Time/Naughty America; Octavia Red, Melissa Stratton & Sam Shock
“Once and Four All” | BaDoinkVR; Liz Jordan, Chanel Camryn, Gal Ritchie & Nathan Bronson
“Sorority Hook Up: Tight and Horny” | VR Bangers; Coco Lovelock, Myra Moans & Jay Romero
“Spy’s Girls: The Tattoo” | VRSpy; Agatha Vega, Madison Wilde & John Strong
“Stepsisters Get Caught” | LittleCapriceVR/Little Caprice Dreams; Little Caprice, Matty Mila Perez & Marcello Bravo
“We All Cream for Halloween” | WankzVR; Lana Smalls, Kylie Rocket, Nicole Aria & Brad Sterling

Commentary/Predicción: Goth Girls Tea Party! Who wouldn’t want to attend one?

Best Virtual Reality Sex Scene – One-on-One

“Altar of Alina” | BaDoinkVR; Alina Lopez & Nathan Bronson
“Bridgerton XXX Parody” | VRCosplayX; Myra Moans & Tommy Gunn
“Dune: Chani” | VR Conk; Harley Haze & Jay Romero
“Emma’s Creamy Lime Pie” | Swallow Bay; Emma Rosie & Tristan Seagal
“Love You to the Moon and Back” | VR Bangers; Agatha Vega & Brad Newman
“One Tru Love” | BaDoinkVR; Tru Kait & Nathan Bronson
“Selena Is a Squirt Machine to Your Face” | Lethal Hardcore VR; Selena Ivy & Jerry Kovak
“Spy’s Girls: Clone Wars” | VRSpy; Ana Foxxx & John Strong
“Up Close VR With Lulu Chu” | Up Close/Adult Time; Lulu Chu & Chris Epic
“Upgraded Barbie Molly Little” | RealJamVR; Molly Little & Jerry Kovak

Commentary/Predicción: Archer believes it would be rude not to pick Emma’s Creamy Lime Pie.

Clever Title of the Year

“Ass Fuck the Police” | WankzVR
Back to the Cooter, Crave/Pulse
“Cramming Creampie in Her Buttflap” | Brazzers
“First Time Hole Owner” | VR Bangers
Gape Expectations, Woosh There It Is/Evil Angel
“It’s My Dick in a Butt!” | POVR Originals
“My Talking Penis Told Me to Fuck My Step-Mom” | Fill Up My Mom/Filthy Kings
“Not in Her Ass for Once” | Private Society
“Squirt the Sweat Away” | Brazzers
“A Swift Dick in the Ass” | WankzVR

Commentary/Predicción: Oooh, this is tough. I’ve consulted with Ice Cube and it’s Ass Fuck the Police.

Female Performer of the Year

Vanna Bardot
Lilly Bell
Blake Blossom
Jewelz Blu
Chanel Camryn
Anna Claire Clouds
Nicole Doshi
Liz Jordan
Cherry Kiss
Kira Noir
Octavia Red
Willow Ryder
Angela White
Jennifer White
Angel Youngs

Commentary/Predicción: Ángela White.

International Female Performer of the Year

Amirah Adara
Little Caprice
Kelly Collins
Anna de Ville
Eden Ivy
Jadilica
Catherine Knight
Veronica Leal
Lia Lin
Clara Mia
Eve Sweet
Tiffany Tatum
Agatha Vega
Christy White
Zaawaadi

Commentary/Predicción: Christy White

International Male Performer of the Year

Alberto Blanco
Marcello Bravo
Jimmy Bud
Kristof Cale
Xander Corvus
Christian Clay
Raul Costa
Danny D
Charlie Dean
Erik Everhard
Angelo Godshack
Tommy Gold
Matthew Meier
Jordi El Nino Polla
Alex Romero

Commentary/Predicción: I am supporting Jordi El Niño Polla.

Mainstream Venture of the Year

The After Dark (Movie) | Daisy Ducati
Chef Vicki With the Tacos (YouTube Series) | Vicki Chase
Doll Behavior – The Gurls (Music Album) | Domino Presley
Evan Stone for Congress (Political Campaign) | Evan Stone
Filthy!: The Rise and (Pending) Death of Vic Lagina (Memoir) | Vic Lagina
General Hospital – Season 62 Episodes 13 & 14 (TV Show) | Mick Blue
“Houdini” ­– Eminem (Music Video) | Ryan Keely & Samantha Mack
Misfits Boxing 16 (Pay-Per-View Boxing Match) | Leah Gotti
Near Sex For Work (One-Man Show) | Daniel Shar
One Night Stand (Stand-Up Comedy Show) | Stormy Daniels
Pensati Sexy (Movie) | Valentina Nappi
Quadrant (Movie) | Lexi Lore
Smutcutter: How I Survived Porn (Memoir) | Sonny Malone
Thotline – VICE (Talk Show) | Angela White & Emma Rose
“Untz Untz” – Tommy Cash (Music Video) | Alice Klay, Angelika Grays, Britney Dutch, Kitana Lure, Lia Lin, Una Fairy, Vanessa Hillz, “Porno” Dan Leal, Kos Devils & Marco Bull

Commentary/Predicción: Mick Blue was in General FUCKING Hospital for fuck’s sake! That’s GOTTA win an award!

Male Performer of the Year

Mick Blue
Nathan Bronson
Hollywood Cash
Dan Damage
Charles Dera
Seth Gamble
JMac
Ricky Johnson
Alex Jones
Vince Karter
Isiah Maxwell
Scott Nails
Milan Ponjevic
Codey Steele
Zac Wild

Commentary/Predicción: going with Mick Blue

Mark Stone Award for Outstanding Comedy

“Air B and Double D” | Caught Fapping/Adult Time
American MILF, MILFY
Busted 3, NSFW/Pulse
D.O.L.L.S, Transfixed/Adult Time/Pulse
Ink Motel 5, Alt Erotic
Momster in Law, MYLF/New Sensations
My Best Friend’s Girl 2, Sweet Sinner/Mile High
“The Prize: A Codi Vore Story” | 4-Player Games, Pure Taboo/Adult Time/Pulse
So Extra!, Wicked/Pulse
Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures

Commentary/Predicción: Sunny Goldmelons, of course! Although Air B and Double D is a worthy contender.

MILF Performer of the Year

Penny Barber
Cory Chase
Cherie DeVille
Alexis Fawx
Charlie Forde
Reagan Foxx
Francesca Lé
Brandi Love
Lexi Luna
Bunny Madison
Natasha Nice
Lauren Phillips
Shay Sights
Sadie Summers
Slimthick Vic

Commentary/Predicción: Brandy Love got into a horrific skiing accident this year. I’m surprised she’s nominated. I say Cherie DeVille.

Most Outrageous Sex Scene

“The Adventures of Tom XXXL – Scene 1” (or “King Schlong vs. Grandma Creampie”) | Mature XXX/Pulse; Tom XXXL & Camilla Creampie
“The Assistant’s Revenge” (or “Penile Trauma”) | Vanessa Vega: Vicious Bitch, Severe Sex Films; Vanessa Vega & Jimmy Broadway
“Beetlejuice XXX: A Porn Parody – Part 2: Beetlejuice Returns” (or “The Cock Fist Way”) | Cosplayground; Rachael Cavalli & Tommy Pistol
“Birth – Scene 3” (or “A Severe Case of Sexy Slut Syndrome”) | Adult Time; Casey Calvert, Tommy Pistol, Codey Steele & Robby Apples
“Butter Up My Asshole” (or “Life’s Simple Pleasures”) | Pornstar Platinum; Leya Falcon & Kris K
“Episode 376 – Kaitlyn Katsaros” (or “It Burns So Good”) | Hookup Hotshot; Kaitlyn Katsaros & Dorian Del Isla
“Leigh Raven and Derek Kage: Caged, Tormented, and Fucked!” (or “Gummy: A Porno by Harmony Korine”) | Divine Bitches/Kink; Leigh Raven & Derek Kage
“Tommy Has Been Training for Jesse” (or “Our Throuple With Linda the Rubber Love Mound”) | Busted 3, NSFW/Pulse; Jesse Pony & Tommy Pistol
“Trentebeard” (or “Dead by Dawn”) | Plants vs Cunts/Hentaied; Valentina Nappi
“Yes, in Front of My Salad Bar” (or “Now With Complimentary Ass Dispenser”) | Brazzers; Siri Dahl, Abigaiil Morris & Kyle Mason

Commentary/Predicción: This is my favourite category of the entire AVN Awards. I’m going to give it to “Butter Up My Asshole” (or “Life’s Simple Pleasures”)

Outstanding Directing – Individual Work

James Avalon, Ulterior Motives, Adam & Eve Pictures
Casey Calvert, Last Splash, Erika Lust
Danny D, Scandalous, Digital Playground/Pulse
Seth Gamble, Iris, Wicked/Pulse
Julia Grandi, Hotel Vixen Season 2, Vixen Media Group
Ricky Greenwood, Gold Diggers, Digital Playground/Pulse
Kayden Kross, American MILF, MILFY
Lea Lexis, Juicy Silver, Digital Playground/Pulse
Bree Mills, Birth, Adult Time
Eddie Nova, Sunny Goldmelons, Wicked Pictures

Commentary/Predicción: It will be Kayden Kross for American MILF.

PLEASURE PRODUCTS

Best Enhancement Manufacturer

Bone Master
COVA
Dame
Intt Cosmetics
KamaSutra
Kanha Sutra
Matrix Vibes
MD Science Labs
Orgie
Riize Up
Rock Candy Toys
Sensuva
SOS Distribution
Spark Sensations
Swiss Navy

Commentary/Predicción: I am still awaiting my endorsement deal, but I’ll go again with Bone Master.

Best Fetish Manufacturer

Bad Dragon Enterprises
CalExotics
Doc Johnson
The Dungeon Store
Fort Troff
Liberator
Mr Hankey’s Toys
Nasstoys
Ple-Sur
Secret Dome
SHOTS
Sportsheets
Whipsmart
Wood Rocket
XR Brands

Commentary/Predicción: For Fetish, it’s The Dungeon Store.

Best Lingerie or Apparel Line

Baci Lingerie
Barely Bare
Be Wicked
Beverly Hills Naughty Girl
Envy Menswear
Fantasy Lingerie
Hello Sexy!
Hustler Lingerie
Kixies
Le Desir
Magic Silk
Pastease
Radiance by CalExotics
Thistle and Spire
Virtue

Commentary/Predicción: I think Barely Bare takes it

Best Lubricant Brand

Coconu
Foria
Fuck Sauce by CalExotics
Fuck Water
If I Say Yes
Intimate Earth
Intimate Enhancements by Doc Johnson
JO
Pjur
Sensuva
Sliquid
Sutil
Swiss Navy
WaterSlide
Wicked Sensual Care

Commentary/Predicción: I like Swiss Navy but Pjur makes GREAT anal lube.

Best Pleasure Product Manufacturer – Large

Blush Novelties
CalExotics
Doc Johnson
Evolved Novelties
Fleshlight
Honey Play Box
Nasstoys
Pipedream Products
Pretty Love
Satisfyer
Sportsheets
Svakom
Tenga
WOW Tech
XR Brands

Commentary/Predicción: Fleshlight. I’m surprised we at DFO have not gotten an endorsement offer from them.

Best Pleasure Product Manufacturer – Medium

Aneros
Bad Dragon Enterprises
Cloud 9 Novelties
Femme Fun
Hott Products
Icon Brands
Iron Tech Doll
Kiiroo
Maia Toys
Motorbunny
Mr Hankey’s Toys
MyStim GmbH
Nu Sensuelle
Tantus
Thank Me Now

Commentary/Predicción: Motorbunny

Best Pleasure Product Manufacturer – Small

Cupsland
The Dungeon Store
Like A Kitten
Maxtasy
Nexstarr Toys
Our Erotic Journey
OhMiBod
Sheets of San Francisco
Snail Vibe
SOS Distribution
Tantaly
Tracy’s Dog
Viben
Zumio

Commentary/Predicción: Viben

RETAIL

Best Boutique

Forbidden Fruit, Austin, TX
Good Relations, Eureka, CA
Luna de Miel, Huntington Park, CA
Nomia, Portland, ME
Oh My!, Northampton, MA
Pleasures of the Heart, San Rafael, CA
Romantic Adventures, Pearl, MS
Sensually Yours, Honolulu, HI
Spanky’s, Santa Ana, CA
Toys of Eros, Provincetown, MA
Trystology, Ventura, CA
VIP Adult Boutique, San Rafael, CA
Wicked Chamber, Costa Mesa, CA
Wild at Heart, Seattle, WA
Zorba’s, Scottsdale, AZ

Commentary/Predicción: Shout out to Spanky’s in Santa Ana and Luna De Miel in HP! That’s two years in a row they’re nominated! Let’s go with Sensually Yours in Honolulu.

Best Retail Chain – Large

Adam & Eve
Adult World
Amazing Intimate Essentials
Castle Megastore
Condom World
Deja Vu
Fascinations
Hustler Hollywood
Lion’s Den
Lovers
Secrets
Starship Enterprises
Sunset Novelties
Patricia’s
Romantix

Commentary/Predicción: I think it’s obvious:

Best Retail Chain – Medium

Condoms to Go/Sara’s Secret
Cupids Lingerie
Dreamers
Enchantasys
Excitement Adult Stores
Fairvilla
Fantasy Gifts
Good Vibrations
Jack and Jill
London Boutique
LSMT
Nice & Naughty
Risque Moments
Romeo & Juliet’s
Velvet Box

Commentary/Predicción: Dreamers. Thanks Obama!

Best Retail Chain – Small

As You Like It
Chazzy Couples Boutique
Cupid’s Closet
Dick & Jane’s Naughty Spot
Exxxcite
GigglesWorld
Groove
Just For Pleasure
Love Stuff and More
NT Lingerie
Playtime Boutique
The Pleasure Chest
The Red Door
Romance Boutique Secrets
Todd Couples Superstore

Commentary/Predicción: The Pleasure Chest used to be the standard, but they’ve fallen off. Let’s go with Dick and Jane’s Naughty Spot.

Best Web Retail Store

AdamEvePlus.com
AdultEmpire.com
BettysToyBox.com
CuteLittleFuckers.com
FortTroff.com
IndigoHoney.com
PinkCherry.com
PureEnvy.com
SexualityResources.com
SheVibe.com
TheAdultShoppe.com
TheSexShed.com
Toys18Plus.com
UnboundBabes.com
WildflowerSex.com

Commentary/Predicción: Hey, they’re cutelittlefuckers.com

See you in a few weeks with the results!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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bk109

Eh, it’s a weird place to post this, but … this seems to be the active thread:

Merry Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day bets “landing” and a happy New Year folks!

WCS
blaxabbath

blaxito got up on his first surf lessons this morning. Going to bring the full family out in a day or two — wife needs not-me instruction.

Brick Meathook

GUARANTEED WINNERS:
Big Booty Face-Shitting Nurses, Big Wet Asses 31, Big Tit Babe Lily Starfire Enjoys Her First DP DVP, Lesbian Daughter In-Laws 5, Tip Your Waiters! Jesse Pony Gets a Five-Cock Attitude Adjustment, Angie Lynx Deep-Throated, Gaping MILF, Sloppy Anal Play, My Talking Penis Told Me to Fuck My Step-Mom

WEIRD CATEGORIES:
Best International Anal Sex Scene (what, are they moaning in Italian?
Best Editing (put this award on your IATSE union application)
Best Non-Sex Performance (this is like a Golden Globe Award you can’t show anybody)
Best Lubricant Brand (Five-Way Tie):

  • Mobil Delvac Extreme 15W-40 Synthetic Heavy Duty Diesel Engine Oil
  • Aeroshell 555 Turbine Engine Oil
  • AMSOIL Signature Series 5W-30 Synthetic Engine Oil
  • Astroglide
  • Marvel Mystery Oil

ALSO:
This event is at the Virgin Hotel Las Vegas, because of course

SonOfSpam

AVN People: “We must have the awards at your hotel”
Virgin Hotel Manager: “Gee, I don’t think we want-”
AVN People: “TWO MILLION DOLLARS PLUS LUBE”
Virgin Hotel Manager (who is low on lube): “Sir, you have a deal.”

Game Time Decision

There’s an ironic boxing day joke, that I just can’t penatrate through my mental block, to finish off here
/Well done balls
//Happy Boxing Day for those that partake and Happy Thursday everyone
///something something gently used something. Or not based on the repeat names above
////no way this post gets through the web filter at work

ThePirateSloth

Just pitched a romantic surprise Las Vegas elopement weekend to the MrsPirate on Jan 25 complete with a surprise “pick up a porn star for our honeymoon threesome” video event that will feature on our new OF couples account.

Fingers crossed.

SonOfSpam

comment image

scotchnaut

I see that the Detroit Red Wings Rebuild: A Never-Ending Story has a new chapter!

https://www.espn.com/nhl/story/_/id/43169498/red-wings-fire-coach-derek-lalonde-bring-todd-mclellan

SonOfSpam

Commentary/Predicción: Let’s go with Ass Fucked Down Under. Fun fact: This was Colin Hay’s alternate title for the Men At Work hit.

I come in an ass fucked down under
Where jism flows and balls plunder
Can’t you hear can’t you hear me go “grrrr”
You better cum, you better take a shower

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It is 9:14 a.m. and the Dr. Mrs. has officially been elimintated from the refrigerator chime challenge.

Game Time Decision

What is this challenge?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, it’s just this thing where I see if my wife or my mother-in-law can make it through a day without the refrigerator chime going off because it’s been open too long.

Redshirt

Balls walking into the Weekly DFO Executive Staff Meeting to discuss the week’s planned posts (SFW Artistic Interpretation):

Glenn Quagmire – Discovers Internet Pleasures!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Amazing commitment to research. You always put in the work.

Last edited 1 day ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Can we get a revised version at awards time that bolds what you’ve seen/used?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thanks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh huh huh. You said “put in”.

Redshirt

(another damn commercial about RuPaul’s Drag Queen show)

Me: “Not another damn commercial about RuPaul’s Drag Queen show!”

(hits Previous Channel on Remote…to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)

Short Round: “Hey, Dr. Jones! No time for love! We got company!”
Willie: “INDYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

(hits Previous Channel returning to another damn commercial about RuPaul’s Drag Queen show)

Me: “Maybe I should be more open to progressive things I find different and stupid.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jots down idea for an invention: a magic remote that changes every channel you switch to into pornography. In the above case the channel would have shown “Montana Johnson and the Temple of Poon”.

Redshirt

I mean the technology is already there. We just need AI to make the final step.

9ex8el.jpg
Game Time Decision

Star Trek’s Holodecks are the final step*
*clean up costs extra

Unsurprised

You can draw the line wherever you want. Just because I’m an economic leftist doesn’t make me as culturally progressive.

To bring this back to porn, I’m never accepting pee. I shudder at what comes next. Eventually, big porn labels will be making toaster-fucker content.

Unsurprised

Wow

Redshirt

Like all the nominees in the Best Gangbang Scene, it keeps going on and on, but it keeps you captivated without becoming repetitive.

Horatio Cornblower

Fulham up 2-1 well into extra time, opening the door to Arsenal taking over 2nd place tomorrow.

Which means I’m looking forward to Ipswich Town somehow blasting Arsenal in the ass something like 3-1.

Doktor Zymm

Wow, they sure make a lot of porn in a year. This is one area of the economy that should thrive even when the tariffs hit their recording equipment and accessories.

Incidentally, there’s a brand of sex toys that is infamous for giving their products to influencers for free with an obligation to return them, then once they’re returned they send them to a new set of influencers without sterelizing them. So they want people to endorse them by giving them lightly used vibrators. Uh, no.

Unsurprised

Like data in general, it seems like more porn was me this year than in all of human history prior to this one. A feat that will be exceeded in every future year.

Unsurprised

*made

Stupid phone and lack of attention.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My brother included me in a “Merry Christmas” text chain that includes at least one of his redhat friends; should I wind him up by replying with a “Happy Holidays”?

King Hippo

say you can’t say more b/c TEH DRONEZ is watching

Doktor Zymm

Hope he had a jolly Saturnalia!

Unsurprised

Use this one

Horatio Cornblower

You can’t go wrong extending best wishes for a Happy Kwanzaa

King Hippo

obligatory judges Balls in WASP

Horatio Cornblower

I wonder what ‘Brenna McKenna Fists Her Pussy’ is about?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Probably a misbehaving feline, though any animal behavior specialist will tell you that punching a kitten is not the best way to discipline it. You need to be gentle.

Senor Weaselo

“Oh, now you tell me!” -Michael Vick’s non-union equivalent, uh, shit, I had something for this…

Horatio Cornblower

I absolutely will not.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Waiting for a slow afternoon at the office? Yeah, I get it.

King Hippo

quasi-alliteration?

Fronkenshteen

I just choked on my coffee.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am very confused, what is the difference between “Best Threeway Sex Scene” and “Best Three-Way Sex Scene”? Is it an MMF/MFF thing?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, and it’s good to see that Alex Mack has stayed busy after retiring.

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Ewwwwwwww.

Redshirt

Oh, him? For a second, I thought Larisa Oleynik crossed over or something.

2Pack

There is a funny commercial on over here for one of the cellular carriers. The wife has plumbing issues and can’t get phone reception. Hubby is wise and has the more practical plan, so he calls a plumber. Plumber shows up smiling and saying Bouna Sera… it’s Rocco Siffredi.

Fronkenshteen

I have a parlay going in the early game with City winning, over 10.5 corner kicks, and (I shit you not) Bernardo Silva and Ndiyaye both to score, and I’m gonna lose the goddamn thing because Haaland missed a penalty and the fucking thing is going to end in a tie. I stink.

2Pack

So.
Much.
Here.
I’m with you on the Yoga Girls 6 thing Buddy. Reminds me of my younger days when I had this thing about a water bed, bottle of Weson oil… and the Go-Go’s…

FB_IMG_1734456994328.jpg
2Pack

Your details astound me… Marika is interested.

IMG_20241226_154352.jpg
Unsurprised

It’s Kelly Brook

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sorry, 2Pack, but that woman was never in the Go-Gos.

You’ve been lied to.

ArmedandHammered

I don’t know, back then she would have been my go-go to for fap material.

Fronkenshteen
  1. If they don’t hand copies of this write-up out at the door in lieu of actual programs, they don’t know what they’re missing.
  2. Clit Eastwood is a fabulous porn name.