Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 22)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 19, 2016February 19, 2016

The scene: The In-N-Out convenience store near the DFO clubhouse. Horatio Cornblower is there, sitting on Moosemas Gorilla's shoulder as the ape stocks up on bananas. Horatio Cornblower: Okay, you have all the bananas. Can we get the beer now? Moosemas Gorilla: Ook! Ook-ook. Horatio Cornblower: Right! Can't forget

Straight White Male Super Bowl 2016: The Oscar Nominees for Costume Design and Makeup & Hair

makeitsnowondem - February 18, 2016February 18, 2016

The Oscars are almost upon us, with all their unpredictability. You don't need an oracle to tell you what will happen. You don't even need a film critic. You need someone who sees into the very souls of the Academy voters. You need a Straight White Man. Hey, guys. I'm make

Westminster Dog Show Open Thread – Day 1

ballsofsteelandfury - February 15, 2016February 15, 2016

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Yes, it's not Presidents' Day. A great holiday when a lazy ass Balls can wake up at the crack of 10 AM, throw some shorts on (never pants!), and get to the mall to catch the 10 AM showing of Deadpool expertly calculating the amount of time the stupid previews

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 21)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 12, 2016February 11, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse. It looks deserted, except for Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, still happily comatose and clad in a vintage John Travolta white disco suit, standing near the bar. Doktor Zymm (peaking out of her lab): Hello...? Vere ist everyone? Hmm... Doktor Zymm ducks back into her lab,

NFL Disintegration

ballsofsteelandfury - February 7, 2016February 6, 2016

There is a reason this is being posted in the middle of the night. Now, to get the full experience, follow along: Light a black candle Light a clove incense stick Turn the lights off Hit Play on the YouTube link below and scroll in time with the lyrics Oh I miss the kiss of

Superb Owl Food Suggestions.

laserguru - February 6, 2016

Greetings and Happy Football Game Eve! I wanted to do a real quick cheap ass knock off of a post in case you are running short on food suggestions for the Big Game Day tomorrow. Some of these recipes are easy some are not and I'm going to throw in some

Zooper Bol “L” Pre-dick-toons: Charlie Kelly

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - February 5, 2016February 5, 2016

[Click on an image for full size] [Try to transcribe it yourself in the comments, then click below to see the translation] 6614

The winds of s**t are blowin’ in Santa Clara, Randyman.

The Maestro - February 5, 2016July 26, 2017

[EXT. A rundown trailer in a trailer park in Nova Scotia, bright and early on a sunny Sunday morning. We hear deep snoring coming from inside the trailer. Cut to INT, where the rundown trailer is strewn about with assorted liquor bottles, cheeseburger wrappers, and what may or not be

Superbowl #Content from Ben Blank, Uproxx Chief Creative Officer

WCS - February 5, 2016February 3, 2016

I'm not here to talk about that thing that's happening over the weekend. I'm here to talk about #content and #branding! That's what we're really interested in. People love #content, and they love #brands! Are you #upforwhatever? Here at Uproxx, we sure are! Whatever the cost, whatever it takes! Readers don't

El Contador escoje el ganador del Super Bowl

ballsofsteelandfury - February 1, 2016February 1, 2016

Hello! I'm Cyrill Figgis, otherwise known as El Contador. So, Ms. Archer told me (more like directed) me to write up a Super Bowl preview. I didn't really want to because I don't really follow sports, but she sorta forced me to... /shudders Anyhoo, even though the Vegas Police Department thinks I've been

The Super Bowl & Canadian TV regulations: so much misplaced nationalism.

Beerguyrob - January 30, 2016

**Ahem** In respect of my fellow Commentists, I realize this might be a boring topic to you, considering that “Canada” is usually nothing more in your mind than a lower drinking age and where your first boy/girlfriend came from. (I know him/her; they told me about that summer at camp. The

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 19)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 29, 2016January 28, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where Yeah Right, Pirate Sloth and Redshirt are reclining on the couch watching pro wrestling. Yeah Right: So...I mean, there's no football on? Redshirt: Nope. Yeah Right: No high school games? Maybe a classic college replay? Redshirt: Nope. Pirate Sloth (reading the TV listings in the newspaper):