2021 Afrikan-American Friday Mini-Hippo Thoughts (and JV Preview)

King Hippo - November 26, 2021November 26, 2021

Congratulations on surviving another gluttinous holiday. We will speak softly out of respect for the massively hungover. The Shield paired the traditional No-Fuck Lions with the Bearistocrats! this season. You might expect hilarity to ensue, and the participants did NOT disappoint. The game was close throughout, a fact overshadowed by its

Raiders! Non-Gendered Cowpersons! Thanksgiving “Lucky Pierre” Fixture Thread

King Hippo - November 25, 2021November 25, 2021

166

Raiders of the Infinite Sadeness (+7.5) at Non-Gendered Cowpersons (4:30, CBS) Hey, do you know a stripper, I mean entertainer who likes FITBAW? 9 times out of 10, her team is one of these two. A nice tip of the cap from The Shield. And they'll be working tonight, so here's to

Thanksgiving 2021 First Game Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury - November 25, 2021November 25, 2021

121

In a happy coincidence that is in no way ironic or predictive, in the middle of the Great Depression in the year 1934, the Detroit Lions were born. A rich person named G.A. Richards bought the Portsmouth (Ohio) Spartans and, in traditional NFL fashion, quickly moved them to another

13 November JV Only Thread the Latter

King Hippo - November 13, 2021November 12, 2021

118

YES, I am indeed super-duper nervous about my Wolven Sort's match with Wake Forest. Thanks for asking! Texas A&M (-2.5) at Ole Miss (7:00, ESPN) Everyone in the mee-jia is 100% on board with Jimbo Fisher's Bonfire Cult. Not that I want to be the side backing Lane Kiffin, but here we

13 November JV Only Thread the Early

King Hippo - November 13, 2021November 12, 2021

172

Oy, I hope you didn't wake up early and console yourself with "hey, at least there will be Lesser Footy to keep me company." But just think, this time next year, we will all be enjoying The World Cup That Slave LaboUr Built! Michigan (-1.5) at Paedo State (Noon, ABC) Will the rough

Hippo Hates All The Things (JV Night/Open Thread)

King Hippo - November 6, 2021November 6, 2021

Yes, I jink bet $40 at +475, but the unspeakable early game still pisses me off. Typing this just before NC State starts pissing me off (over the cliff of despair). Apologies for being more curt than usual. LSU (+28.5) at Alabama (7:00, ESPN) So fugly that CBS ain't even want it.

Time To Get Away – 6 November 2021 Lesser Goodness

King Hippo - November 6, 2021November 5, 2021

130

Look, I have given up on human society. It just gets worse by the day. Retreat into the only consistently (well, mostly consistent) good thing in life, sportsball! I also heard the best cover ever on the radio this week, just edging out my previous shempion ("Mrs. Robinson" by The

All Hallows Eve Eve Open Thread

King Hippo - October 30, 2021October 30, 2021

189

FUCK, do I ever hate Halloween. I know, I know. But Hippo, you hate EVERYTHING. Larnin' of the day: Lookit you, Sparty! Have that Sparty Party after all. Ole - not ded yet. Nuno...not great, Bob! Vile Redshite drop points to Trash Birds, despite being spotted a 2-nil lead. At home. You

Waking Up Is (Lesser) Hard To Do

King Hippo - October 30, 2021October 29, 2021

152

Now that the weather is finally turning, Hippo is starting to hibernate like a (chest hair-free) bear. Naturally, the only good Prem matches are (i) at 7:30; or (ii) conflict with JV NFL. Still, thank fuck summer is over. Wake up with DFO's Gooner contingent, as the King's Afrikan Water Pistols go

Wrapping Up Mandatory Eve

King Hippo - October 16, 2021October 16, 2021

106

Good gracious, I know everyone is as excite as I am for LOLFins/Jaguras tomorrow. Imagine the maelstrom that Fair London's ticket scalpers must be enduring. Until then, here is how we pass the time: Alabama (-17) at Mississippi State (7:00, ESPN) Oh, you poor Cowbells. Be afraid. Be very afriad. NC State (-3) at

Exploring the Term “Mandatory”

King Hippo - October 9, 2021October 9, 2021

293

Good morning, all. There is no Lesser Footy to speak of (international break, blech), but at least tomorrow - The Shield tries to fill that void with the most precious of gift. Jest. Falcons (without Ridley!). London. 9:30a EST, full national coverage. As you know, our esteem for FITBAW means that when

JV Night Time is (Hopefully) the Right Time

King Hippo - October 2, 2021October 2, 2021

186

Holy shit, do I regret wasting my naptime yesterday. I could have used a nap in that dire noon window of JV fixtures. Today I learned nothing. Except that UGA is as good as everyone thinks. Florida (-7.5) at Kenfucky (6:00, ESPN) This is almost always an excellent game, that Blue Moons almost