Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The Definitive Christmas Carol Rankings

Senor Weaselo - December 20, 2023December 20, 2023

106

Good evening. My name is Senor Weaselo, and as some of you know, I play a lot of Jewish events. Weddings, shows, other, you name it. Despite this, as the Lubovitch have found out in disbelief numerous times when they ask if I want to partake in various religious customs and

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - December 14, 2021December 13, 2021

[INT. - Natick Mall Christmas display. Despite the ongoing COVID pandemic, we see lines of happy shoppers, as well as a gaggle of small children eagerly awaiting their chance to meet Santa Claus.] SULLY THE ELF: Listen up all youse kids! Santa's just runnin' a couple minutes behind sched but should

Little Drummer Boy challenge

Game Time Decision - December 9, 2020December 8, 2020

Hey all, as some of you know, we do the "Little Drummer Boy" challenge each year. It's really simple, if you hear the "Little Drummer Boy" song between Black Friday* ( Nov 27 at 12:01 AM in whatever time zone your in) and Christmas Eve ( Dec 24 at 12:01

I Watched It So You Didn’t Have To: Santa Girl

Wakezilla - December 19, 2019December 19, 2019

Welcome back to DFO’s Annual Christmas movies review. This feature is where one of us poor bastards watches a Christmas movie and summarizes it for you, so you can go for a snooze or drink more booze when your significant other forces you to watch the movie. Today’s Christmas movie

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Mailbag #17

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 18, 2019December 18, 2019

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable Chiefs-Patriots AFC Championship matchup--AND spending

I Watched It So You Don’t Have To: The Knight Before Christmas

Wakezilla - December 10, 2019December 10, 2019

Welcome back to DFO's Annual Christmas movies review. This feature is where one of us poor bastards watches a Christmas movie and summarizes it for you, so you can go for a snooze or drink more booze when your significant other forces you to watch the movie. Today's Christmas movie

This Week In Violence! Presents Takanakuy

The Maestro - February 26, 2016February 26, 2016

Imagine spending your Christmas beating the shit out of your friends, family members and neighbours. Actually, wait. Some of you probably do that already. But imagine doing that and having one gigantic-ass party to go along with all the fisticuffs. That, folks, is the beauty of takanakuy. Takanakuy is an annual

In Which We Rank The Christmas Songs That Don’t Suck

The Maestro - December 23, 2015December 23, 2015

There's a ton of shitty Christmas music out there. Of course, some might argue that it's in perfect proportion to the amount of shitty music that's out in the rest of the year, but the tricky thing about music for the holiday season is that even if a song is

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - December 4, 2015December 4, 2015

I missed the Lions-Packers game last night, and I'm damn sorry I did. Because holy shit, when I got home from hockey and looked at my phone, I laughed for ten minutes after watching the last play highlights. God damn, Detroit. When Cleveland fans make fun of you - and especially