Your “Dammit Lebron! You Had One Job!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Man – it seems nobody wants to hit the Patriots in 2017.

NFL News:

  • Colin Kaepernick has decided to change his stance about the national anthem for 2017.
    • figuring that if he wants to get paid, he’d better stand up for himself
  • Strange things are afoot in DC, or operating normally with the [Redacteds], depending on who you talk to.
    • the Washington Post reports GM, Scot McCloughan, is not at the Combine, dealing with a “family matter”
    • Deadspin has woven a grand tale involving:
    • Rich Eisen – who is on radio at 3:00PM in Vancouver – was also talking about it on his broadcast, mentioning how strange it was that the GM didn’t go but the President of Football Operations did.
  • leading one to believe there is either everyone or no one in charge of the team.
    • It comes down to capricious whim, and who buys Dan Snyder the biggest ice cream cone.
    • It also means they will likely finish 7-9 and plenty of firings for everyone.
  • Speaking of things Washington broke, things are looking up in the Factory:
    • “We’re going to keep working with him until we don’t”, said Hue Jackson on his current #1 QB Robert Griffin III.

Malt of the Month:

I didn’t like this month’s selection – the Oban 1999 DISTILLERS EDITION – so I’m going with the “Spirit of the Month” instead.

CITY OF LONDON CHRISTOPHER WREN GIN

Sounds promising; cool bottle. Go on:

Christopher Wren is the second gin from the City of London distillery.

Intriguing. Tell me more…

Christopher Wren Gin has been designed by expert Master Distiller Tom Nichol. This premium gin combines the subtle flavours of juniper, coriander, angelica root, liquorice and sweet orange to give a complex gin that balances quality and flavour.

Winner of a Double-Gold Award at the San Francisco World Spirits Competition 2016

Okay, now bring it home:

Serving Suggestion: great in cocktails, with tonic or on-the-rocks with lots of ice

So, in a glass, however I want? SOLD!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Rangers at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN
    • Nashville at Montreal – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
      • PK Subban’s return to Montreal
  • NBA:
    • Warriors at Bulls – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • Thunder at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA: my selections
    • Houston at Cincinnati – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Stanford at Colorado – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN3

If I can, I’m going to try and see “Logan” tonight.

CAN’T WAIT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprised

Mangold just pawn in game of life.
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laserguru

Hey tWBS: I:ll have you know that I’ve been working on breast reduction since 2000.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMnjF1O4eH0

laserguru

I will have you know that I’m at my leanest since….

I guess about 2014.

Let’s try a 10K

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDKFZpGeVVo

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

2,014 lbs is still quite large for a 4’8″ person.

laserguru

I’ve grown 2″ since high school.

laserguru
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So… average penis length.

laserguru

In Jamaica on a warm day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

“Where’s Andrea?”

“Where’s Gary?”

“You really want to slow this process down?”

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My favorite drunk movie…EVER!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You do all industrial VFDs, right? For processes?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, I think I accidentally got drunk

JustStopDude

I call them “Tuesdays”…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Genie, you’re free.

And now the Jets are releasing WR Brandon Marshall, per sources.— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 3, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

JustStopDude

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Senor Weaselo

“He needed more bike.” -LaDanian Tomlinson

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. How’s shakes?

Senor Weaselo

Could’ve gotten one this afternoon but I was doing taxes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Parkinson’s joke?

Senor Weaselo

No, it was nice out if I wanted a milkshake. And now it’s cold and supposed to snow tomorrow.

JustStopDude

Fell off the wagon…HARD…

laserguru

Shaking

Unsurprised
JustStopDude

Its been two weeks trying to recover from strep throat.

I quit smoking, just the gum, trying to get my lungs and throat to work again without pain.

I would brutally murder/fuck every single one of you and your family for a cig right now.

I donate blood and plasma as soon as I can physically do it…every single month. I travel constantly and every single airplane mile and hotel point is donated to charity…because it helps people that have sick kids.

But right now…I would murder your children in front of you for one single drag off a cig because I am a degenerate smoker.

Quitting heroin was easier for me as a teenager than quitting cigs as a mid 30 year old.

Fuck I am weak.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can’t believe this isn’t a bigger thing:

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Senor Weaselo

The Russians are how he got his new knees! It all makes sense!

WCS

I live on Christopher Wren Drive!

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know what you’re watching but it’s right in front of you! Right now!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I drive on live* Christopher Wren.

*well, not anymore.

JustStopDude

No bullshit, I spent like 10 hours straight wiring up a drive to do a really crazy thing for next week. I got it to work and went out celebrate…and it was my bartender that shared with me just now that its Thursday and not Friday.

Morning will be rough. I completely lost track of what day of the week it was.

I think I work too much,

Croooow

Hawkeyes rallied from behind late and won at Wisconsin. I dunno if that puts them on the NCAA Tourney bubble (I know the Badgers are really struggling lately), but back-to-back wins against ranked teams on the road is still cool.

Senor Weaselo

I’m still pretty happy about Northwestern, one of my HS friends went there so if they finally go dancing, good for him.

Croooow

It’s legitimately awesome that Northwestern is in a strong position to finally make the Tourney. That Hail Mary win yesterday was incredible.

Duchess

Damn it I just watched an interview with Carter Page… Guys I think I might actually be related to that clown

Senor Weaselo

The Warriors finally have a losing streak.

Unsurprised

Who should I roast with this?
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Unsurprised
entropy

She’s… impressive.

Unsurprised

I just received two pair of Adidas track pants. They’re comfortable and they make me feel so Slavic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, the Slavs. Man can they drink.

/realistically this is often said of any ethnic group.

litre_cola

German Mennonites?

Senor Weaselo

Rumspringa?

herodotus450

Found some more concept art for Madden 18, as outlined below
http://i.imgur.com/8pghwgA.png

Horatio Cornblower

And we’re at the scene where they put the dog to sleep…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

By which you mean they put him in his crate and say goodnight and come back in the morning and he’s totally fine and really happy to see them, right?

entropy

Well, sort of. After he’s in the crate, they take him to a farm upstate, with lots of room to run and animals to play with…

Senor Weaselo

That’s what he told the dog.

Horatio Cornblower

Owen Wilson has the kind of face that makes me root for his dog to die.

entropy

Damn. That comment just gave the poor bastard a concussion.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not really his face, it’s the way, in this movie anyway, he keeps flattening out his a’s in this godddamn nasal whiny voice.

In reality no one’s dog should die. Ever.

Horatio Cornblower

Just caught the end of ‘Marley & Me’ on one of the HBO channels. Should I make the puppy watch it?

litre_cola

Jesus. I could not watch that movie if someone paid me.

Duchess

Want it the movie that led Owen Wilson to suicide?

Horatio Cornblower

Jughead’s father is played by Skeet Ulrich.

Good times.

entropy

Times have been hard since that sweet “Scream/Jericho” money stopped rolling in.

Horatio Cornblower

He looks it. Apparently next week he’ll be falling off the (maple) wagon, and I’m not sure he’ll be acting.

entropy

“Get back, Moose, he’s on a MAPLE BENDER!!”

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently Moose is gay in this Riverdale universe.

entropy

Is Weatherbee a fat Lex Luthor?

Horatio Cornblower

Middle-aged black male.

Unsurprised

I liked Jericho, at least as it progressed in the second half of the season.

entropy

I liked the first season of Jericho…. the second one, where the studio was PISSED people actually demanded they make it and they dropped the budget to “Junior High Theatre Program” levels sucked.

Unsurprised

There’s a Jericho Season 3 comic book written by some of the writers, but it follows the abbreviated season 2 they had to do and so I never got around to reading it and seeing if they salvaged the story. I doubt it though since even that is only a 6-issue series.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dude, a CW gig is about as good as they get – they reuse their actors from show to show more than [some good metaphor].

entropy

HBO reuses actors like mad.

Duchess

I’m just surprised Skeet isn’t playing a high schooler on a CW show.

Horatio Cornblower

Archie just kissed Black-Girl-Not-Named-Josie.

The Riverdale Chamber of Commerce is NOT gonna be happy about this.

entropy

I’ve seen the ads for this show…. is the actual show as over-saturated as the ads? Like, all the “red” hair looks horrible and shit?

Horatio Cornblower

Oh god yes. I’ve made many an ill-received comment about this.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh thank God, we finally made it to the fireworks fact….uh, the maple farm.

I’m not even kidding. The big crime scene is a “maple farm.” THERE’S NO SUCH FUCKING THING AS A MAPLE FARM!!

entropy

What the fuck is a “maple farm,” even in the context of the show?

entropy

I’m picturing something like a salt mine, only made of hardened maple syrup for some reason.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s an abandoned farm where they hide cars filled with the murder victim’s clothes.

Duh

herodotus450

Maybe they mean Maplethorpe?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure there is. It’s called “the woods”.

Horatio Cornblower

OHMYGODYOUGUYSJUGHEADJUSTKISSEDBETTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
/this has been your teenage daughter update.
//Betty gonna get murdered because Jughead is played by Cole Sprouse and he’s all my daughter’s, whether he knows it or not.
///She is definitely going to get arrested at some point.

Senor Weaselo

Your daughter or Betty?

Horatio Cornblower

Both, but I don’t have to bail Betty out.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m gonna run out to Del Taco so I can buy some garbage food and feel horrible about myself while I eat it.

entropy

I do that at 7-11 some nights

entropy

True statement I made today while reading my personal email:

“No, job search board, I sincerely doubt the US State Department wants to hire me.”

Unsurprised

Too qualified?

King Hippo

need 2 MOAR 4 poker

Horatio Cornblower

Riverdale’s economy is based on maple syrup. This is hilarious.

Senor Weaselo

Archie’s Canadian?

Horatio Cornblower

At a minimum Riverdale is in Vermont. Which is also pretty funny because there are more blacks and Hispanics on this show than there are in Vermont.

herodotus450

Sure you can watch the show, but if you wan’t all the details and nuance you gotta read the books!
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I watched the first episode and maybe half of the second episode of that series. It’s…not captivating.

Horatio Cornblower

It is funny though. Whether they mean it to be or not.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh of course Polly’s pregnant! Of COURSE she is!

Horatio Cornblower

I am bonding with my daughter by watching ‘Riverdal’ and making obnoxious comments.

I am not a fit parent

theeWeeBabySeamus

something something just now figuring this out something something

herodotus450

What is that, some tv version of Archie comics?

Unsurprised

Yes

herodotus450

Oh, no. I thought I was coming up with the dumbest explanation possible. It looks like my frontal lobotomy finally kicked in and I can fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a tv programming executive.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s much darker. Archie was banging Ms. Grundy, (who was younger an WAY hotter), Betty is schizo, Veronica’s father is in jail for some white-collar crime and now her mother’s hooking up with Archie’s father, who is separated from his mother.

Also someone was murdered in the opening episode.

King Hippo

Betty/Veronica heavy lesbo overtones??

herodotus450

Just like that episode of Veronica Mars where she goes undercover as Betty Somelastname at the rival high school!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzj51x3lgI1qc67tzo1_500.gif

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter thinks they’re going to hook up.

I’d be rooting for it but they’re all supposed to be 15 and it’s kinda creepy.

litre_cola

I aspire to that

Old School Zero

Maybe someone’s posted this already, but it’s relevant to all of our interests:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbAtTuxYDeg

Nailed it.

herodotus450
Horatio Cornblower

What was the budget on that? I’ll set the O/U at $64.52

Old School Zero

Yet they still nailed Goodell better than most.

Don T

Espn says McGloughan’s absent ’cause he’s planning a memorial for his grandma. Who died a month ago. The wake was on Feb. 13. She was 100.
I’ll say this: that’s Latin-class bereavement.
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18808982/washington-[*Redacted] s-president-bruce-allen-says-general-manager-scot-mccloughan-return-table-uncertain

Senor Weaselo

That is some weird porn.

Unsurprised

Belichick is Satan

Fronkenshteen

Ah fuck it. I know when I’m beat. Tired of rooting for them to fail. Just gonna wait till they retire. They know what they did, and that’s all I have left.

Unsurprised

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Don T

Half a glass of gin, half a lemon, top with tonic and add ice. Perfect.
The spill on the counter is great for sucking.

SonOfSpam

YOUR MOM I CALL HER THE SPILL ON THE COUNTER

Don T

You sound like the type that asks “Keep yer dentures honn..”

entropy

She seems very insistent with that right leg hook.

Senor Weaselo

I might watch MMIS if they’re allowed to kick. Okay, I still won’t, but I might.

Shogun Marcus

Do you hate yourself? This may help.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=NJ3aiM8K6D0

Senor Weaselo

Serving suggestion: Yes.

Shogun Marcus

I’m not one to force influence, but folks, Peter Steele is genius. Go and seek.

herodotus450

Is he like a cross between Peter North and Lexington Steele?

Shogun Marcus

Um, yeah actually. Except with brains.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Are we talking about the Type O Negative frontman? Because if so, hell yeah!

If not, just ignore me & move on.

Shogun Marcus

Yes I Am!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Awesome. I’m a big Type O fan (yuuuge surprise, right?). Steele was a very talented, very bright guy.

Shogun Marcus

Met him, love him. People should know and do the same.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

@bfc That baseball article enraged me. It is indeed is the stupidest shit I have read in awhile.

entropy

The whole article should have just been someone quoting Carlin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huML-WTUgSU