2018 Quotables – Week 1 (Results)

blaxabbath - September 14, 2018September 14, 2018

And we are off! "This duck, like many other birds, met a sad end at U.S. Bank Stadium." -Fronkenshteen

2018 Quotables – Week 1 (Submissions)

blaxabbath - September 11, 2018September 11, 2018

Welcome everyone to another season of [DFO] Quotables, the only place where you can make jokes about football players on the internet! As we didn't play much with the gifs this offseason or preseason, I'm still working out a couple little kinks here but I think you'll have adequate visuals

Blood is Thicker

blaxabbath - August 27, 2018August 26, 2018

INT. GAME SHOW STUDIO – MUSIC AND LIGHTS BEGIN AS THE CROWD APPLAUDS THE APPROACHING HOST Michael Strahan: Good evening ladies and gentlemen! We're excited to have you here tonight as we, once again, give a derelict father the opportunity to meet his bastard-turned-celebrity child. So, without further ado, let's all

Arizona Cardinals Preview (2018)

Team Previews

blaxabbath - August 23, 2018August 22, 2018

Alright, alright! So how is everyone doing today? My name Sil---bastian….Sebastian Blax and I am here today to continue [DFO]'s preview of all 32 NFL teams! Its early on in the series but we're off to a great start here including our annual treat of Fozz/BAL hate,, honest assessments about

Sure Thing: A 2018 Green Bay Packers Preview Post

Team Previews

blaxabbath - August 8, 2018August 8, 2018

Welcome to your 2018 Green Bay Packers preview. Now, before we get too far into this number, I need to point out that I am not a Green Bay Packers fan. I've really got little against the franchise -- I like that they got the small-town-owns-a-franchise thing going for them,

PTO 2: The Base

Insane Shit

blaxabbath - July 31, 2018July 28, 2018

The Factory Training Center - Sherman Oaks, CA - EXT, Day Four men alternate between running scripted plays and navigating neon green cones via plyometric exercises. Though the facility is otherwise empty, the intensity level of the group is high. The grunts and cheers of the men echo off the small

Your “Wednesday, July 25, 2018” Open Thread

Open Threads

blaxabbath - July 25, 2018July 25, 2018

I've been researching but I still don't totally understand how open threads are titled. So, a date stamp should be adequate? I mean, July 25th? Can I say that? Admittedly, that was forced. Anyways, we're hitting the dog days of offseason here. Still, we got Your Papa John's Presents NFL News Update

NFL Dead Files: Oakland

blaxabbath - July 18, 2018July 17, 2018

In an effort to revive the ratings of its stagnant paranormal series, The Dead Files, The Travel Channel's brain trust has piloted a partnership with the National Football League to boost ratings for the show as its airs its 10th season. In return, this deal will introduce the NFL to

PTO 1: Intros

Offseason stories

blaxabbath - July 2, 2018July 1, 2018

INT. NFLPA UNION HALL – JULY SPECIAL COMMITTEE MEETING But for the quorum of three men sitting at a long table on stage, a dilapidated auditorium sits empty of NFL players. Where typically an audible murmur would be present as union players would engage in private discussions that oscillate between topics of

Tom Brady’s PED Scandal, Part 4: Inner Circle

blaxabbath - June 18, 2018June 17, 2018

Two Things: First, A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain (Incorrectly) Second, Now, the last time it even seemed worth making a unique post about Tom Brady's ongoing cheating history was way back in January 2016 after the Peyton Manning-led (but

World Cup 2018 Tunisia Preview: Not My Favorite

blaxabbath - June 9, 2018June 8, 2018

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FIFA Rank: 14th. So, right of the bat here, a country you may have mocked as even having a national soccer team is actually better globally than the Jets/Browns/Colts/Cardinals/Bears/Bucs/49ers are in the NFL. World Cup Group: G (along with England, Belgium, and Panama). Hey, How’d They Get Here?: Direct from the FIFA World Cup