Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - December 12, 2016December 11, 2016

The Day of the Dead came a little late this year, eh? We'll never forget you, TannyFanny. So very GIF-able. Does that mean we need to say something about his game, too? The fraudulent Dolphins won on a late FG in the monsoon, despite the quartered

EPL Only Saturday – Embracing the Void

King Hippo - December 10, 2016December 9, 2016

249

As a reminder, here are The Dead Milkmen... On the pitch, we get things started by ruining my weekend straight away, and right early too, with Watford hosting Everton at 7:30 EST (NBCSN). The 11th position Hornets would actually vault over the 8th position Toffees with their inevitable win, as

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - December 5, 2016December 4, 2016

Well, it certainly was lucky for Andy Fucking Reid, wasn't it? I mean, the Chefs DID technically win on a game-winning TD pass from Matt Ryan. In that "ppl forget that" category is that the 2-pointer when one is up 1 late in the game should not be

Hippo Salutes Leighton Baines, Bedlam, and Other Lesser Footy Nonsense

King Hippo - December 3, 2016December 3, 2016

240

Sometimes, I really have a hard time getting out of bed, even with a full day of footy lying ahead. It is very easy to be as cynical about footy as it is life in general. Then, you read an article like this and boom, one falls in

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 12, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - November 28, 2016November 27, 2016

Christ, the Denver game sucked. Turns out you can't really play without a right tackle. Or sentient special teamers. You can only fuck yourself in the ass so many times without permanent damage. Eventually, even the Chefs will take advantage. The Ravens beat the ded Bungles today,

“Fuck the Midwest” Edition – Weekend Lesser Footy Preview

King Hippo - November 26, 2016November 25, 2016

659

You can take the states of Meeeechigan and Ohio and use them exclusively for nuclear waste storage for all I care. Oh, and I guess to hold the collective ESPN commentator ejaculate. Anyway, Burnley host Man City to kick your Saturday off. You can watch while pretending to have

Shitsgiving Mini-Thoughts and Day After JV Preview

King Hippo - November 25, 2016

167

Due to family bullshit, much of my coverage was radio, and my TAEKS are evens less informed than usual. Caveat emptor. Oh, and HAPPY DAY AFTER OVEREATING SHAME, EVERYBODY!!! Crazy Eyez managed to go 31-37 and still stink up the field and single-handedly lose the game in Romonobyl-like fashion

Denver at the 2016 Bye (No Ofence)

Bye Week Updates

King Hippo - November 22, 2016

Like, literally. And Mile High Sanchize ain't comin' through that door, he's fat, dumb, and happy as the Future NFC Champion Dallas Cowboys' backup clipboard holder. The OL is, indeed, a fatal flaw. RT play has been the absolute bottom of the barrel, and LG not much better.

Instant (Mid-Morning) Hippo Thoughts – Week 11, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - November 21, 2016November 20, 2016

First of all - fuck the world, and fuck humanity. Extinction is coming, and we will totes deserve it. Until that sweet day of reckoning, onto the games. Second of all...I forgot to check for fill-in columns first. Oopsie. So apologies for duplicative #content. Everyone missed almost every

EPL Returns and Other Lesser Footy Sadness

King Hippo - November 19, 2016November 18, 2016

500

Everything still sucks out loud and should be set on fire. It will all be ablaze soon enough, and Lesser Footy exists to hopefully help distract you at least a little bit until it happens. The early Saturday fixture (7:30, NBCSN)is strong and assy, with 6th position Manure hosting 4th

JV NFL Schedule/Open Saturday Thread (12 Nov 2016)

King Hippo - November 12, 2016November 11, 2016

343

I have no words nor fucks left to give. Games of note: Baylor at Oklahoma (Noon, ABC/ESPN2) Scoring. Kentucky at Tennessee (Noon, SECN) Wildcats still have reasonable chance to win East with win here. Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech (3:30, ESPNU) ACC Coastal would be clinched with VPI win. I can't believe I'm tying

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 9, 2016

Reflections

King Hippo - November 7, 2016November 6, 2016

I am not having a good year. Everything after Superb Owl L has been a slip and slide made of bile and vomitus. So on that note, congratulations to your AFC West champion Oakland Raiders. And kudos to JDR for a fantastic gameplan, well-executed. So much