[Wallet flies open]: Fuck MS

DFOing Good

Old School Zero - July 14, 2015July 14, 2015

Some of you may remember this from last year--kommenters really came through big (OH YEAH!)--but I'm fundraising for the Bike MS Oregon ride again. I've done the ride--100 miles the first day, 50 the next--five times over the last six years or so, and it's a great time. Unfortunately, thanks

A Mostly Straight Male’s Guide to Magic Mike XXL

Old School Zero - July 7, 2015July 6, 2015

[Apologies to every blogger everywhere who has used this format before me] While everyone was suffering through the heat wave and massive crowds to wait for fireworks to go off, I was in a darkened theater laughing until I cried at one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in a

More characters from “The Room” seek advice

Old School Zero - July 6, 2015

[Ed. Note--While Johnny was the first to ask for it, the other characters in The Room also (obviously) need help as well. For reasons that will become clear, they didn't make it to print. We've recovered them from the trash bin, however, and now you can read them as well!] Dear Amy: I'm in

NSA Telephone Transcript #14B688UC11

NotKontent

Old School Zero - July 3, 2015

[brief ringing sound, then a phone picking up] OSZ: Hello? [No response. Background noise sounds like a large group of people talking all at once, as well as "Fly Like An Eagle" by the Steve Miller Band] OSZ: Hello? Who is this? [Still no response, but a voice cuts through the background noise] GET

Quickie: A Special Message to Packers Shareholders

NotKontent

Old School Zero - June 26, 2015

[Ed. Note--New School Zero sent me an email from the not too distant future--only a few days, in fact, but he said it was important. So, here you go!] Dear Packers Shareholders, I would like to announce to you today that I am a happily married man. I didn't plan on this

Quickie: Nooooooooo!

Old School Zero - June 22, 2015

Thanks to a speedy delivery, my new router came in today and I'm back on the internet at home. So I boot up the ol' interwebs only to find... this. I love Hannibal. This show is spectacular in so many ways. Mads Mikkelsen is glorious as our beloved Hannibal Lecter. GLORIOUS! NBC did this

Meanwhile, at BroBible HQ

Insane Shit

Old School Zero - June 19, 2015

Head Bro Seth: Dudebro, this whole Uproxx thing is, like, sweet. We even got, like, KSK now and that place is TEH SHIT, right? Head Dude Evan: Brodude, that place is totally EPIC for pageviews, bro, and we're totally gonna make some sweet football money, bro! HBS: Totes, brobrah, let's find some

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston on his time at The MMQB

NotKontent

Old School Zero - June 11, 2015

Just a short update for all you loyal readers today. Fear not, I'm sniffing out a game-changing scoop as I write this, but I had a recent journalistic experience I thought you all might find illuminating. A peek behind the curtain, if you will--how the sports-flavored sausage gets made, sweaty

Quickie: Rich People Things

Open Threads

Old School Zero - June 7, 2015

So this happened. After chuckling to myself about bad PR befalling the Patriots yet again, I googled for a 2011 Mercedes Maybach. It would take a really, really stupid person to wreck one of those, and you know why? This: Stupid, because this is not a car you buy to drive around. This

Quickie: Horsey Talk

Open Threads

Old School Zero - June 6, 2015

I'm calling it now: PK is going to blather on about the Triple Crown win--rich people winning things is like a light bulb to PK's mothy brain--and in doing so, compare his own running pace to that of American Pharoah thinking that anyone cares, like the dumb fuck that he

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston has the SCOOP on Johnny Football’s Rehab Stay!!!!

NotKontent

Old School Zero - June 2, 2015

Friends, loyal readers, and all of my ex-wives: Yes, I DO still exist, which should please two out of three of those categories. Reports of my demise and/or debilitation are greatly exaggerated; in fact, I've been hot on the trail of one of the biggest scoops this year! It's taken

Upcoming Programming Notes/Brainstorming Session

Old School Zero - May 21, 2015

This is a post to say that I have posts I'm intending to write but I am too busylazy to write them--otherwise known as a preview! I also had the thought to open this thread up to brainstorming post ideas for anyone to pick up and write, or just share