[DFO] Status Update

Old School Zero - August 7, 2015

Hi everybody. WHAT A WEEK! WHAT A GLORIOUS WEEK! In just one week since the events of 7/31/15, the views of our site have increased five-fold! That's good! However, as you have undoubtedly noticed, it's caused some issues with site performance--slowness, some features not working as we want them to, and a

The Do’s and Don’t’s of Great Brownies

Old School Zero - August 5, 2015

Tonight I'm making my can't-fail : brownie recipe to take some treats into work tomorrow, which brought to might making a post out of it. Now, these brownies are very easy to make, but I thought it might be fun to track the finer details of the process to show what

Thirsty Thursday

Open Threads

Old School Zero - July 30, 2015

I'm so thirsty. Won't someone give me something to drink? I feel like I haven't had a drink in ages. Why am I so thirsty? Can I please have some water? Ah, that's better. The nurse always says my vitamins have a side effect of dry mouth. I don't know what that means, but I'll

Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston Asks You To Give

Old School Zero - July 27, 2015

Dateline: July 27, 2015 Hello, loyal Winstonians! My drunken summer vacation dried up like a Palm Springs housewife recently, and, boy, did I have a time. After my vacation breakfast of four Ojai oranges and a pint glass of Mezcal, it was time to head home, which meant getting to the

[BOOK FLIES OPEN] – A List Of Things That Didn’t Kill Me

Old School Zero - July 24, 2015July 23, 2015

[I'd like to thank yeah right for starting the book articles going, and apologies for changing up the article naming convention, but I couldn't resist] Have you ever been to some sort of festival or concert filled with hippies and their kids (*coughcoughCUNTLERcoughcough*), or seen some picture of people with kids

Meanwhile, in San Diego…

Old School Zero - July 16, 2015July 16, 2015

City Councilman: All right, this has been a full day of hearing public testimony on the issue of the proposed new stadium, and I think we have our last citizen. If you could please step up to the mic, mister... BOLTMAN! [pounds chest, a brief snippet of the 'San Diego Super

[Wallet flies open]: Fuck MS

DFOing Good

Old School Zero - July 14, 2015July 14, 2015

Some of you may remember this from last year--kommenters really came through big (OH YEAH!)--but I'm fundraising for the Bike MS Oregon ride again. I've done the ride--100 miles the first day, 50 the next--five times over the last six years or so, and it's a great time. Unfortunately, thanks

A Mostly Straight Male’s Guide to Magic Mike XXL

Old School Zero - July 7, 2015July 6, 2015

[Apologies to every blogger everywhere who has used this format before me] While everyone was suffering through the heat wave and massive crowds to wait for fireworks to go off, I was in a darkened theater laughing until I cried at one of the most entertaining movies I've seen in a

More characters from “The Room” seek advice

Old School Zero - July 6, 2015

[Ed. Note--While Johnny was the first to ask for it, the other characters in The Room also (obviously) need help as well. For reasons that will become clear, they didn't make it to print. We've recovered them from the trash bin, however, and now you can read them as well!] Dear Amy: I'm in

NSA Telephone Transcript #14B688UC11

NotKontent

Old School Zero - July 3, 2015

[brief ringing sound, then a phone picking up] OSZ: Hello? [No response. Background noise sounds like a large group of people talking all at once, as well as "Fly Like An Eagle" by the Steve Miller Band] OSZ: Hello? Who is this? [Still no response, but a voice cuts through the background noise] GET