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Author: Old School Zero
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Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston Shares His Secrets
Greetings, dear Winstonians! I trust you are enjoying this season of football to its utmost–biting your nails at the close finishes, cursing the ineptitude…
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Coping With Loss in La Jolla
(somewhere on a sunny beach in La Jolla, Callifornia) Brad: Brah! Good waves out there today. Jackson: Totally, brah. And my gal K8 [ed. note–literally spelled that…
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Somewhere outside of Jersey City…
Corn Maze Employee #1: I’m telling you, man, he was in there all night. Corn Maze Employee #2: Doing what, though? #1: Hell if…
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Meanwhile, in the San Diego Locker Room…
Brandon Flowers: Damn, it’s been almost a week and I’m still bummed out from losing so badly to the Vikings. Malcolm Floyd: Tell me…
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Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston’s Special Injury Report
Dateline: September 23rd, 2015 Greetings, loyal Winstonians! Long time readers know that for years, I’ve been telling my learned readership that Week 2 in…
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French Jay Cutler Goes On Strike!
/long pull on a skinny and extremely noxious cigarette Bon jour, sports fans of questionable culture. I av called you here today to say, c’est…
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BOLTMAN’S 2015 CHARGERS GUARANTEE
(Pictured above: a child’s conception of Boltman) [Ed. Note–for best results, open the links in a new tab as you read and close them…
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Local Beat Reporter Bud Winston’s 2015 Centers Preview
Dateline: August 26th, 2015 Hello once again, dear readers, and welcome to that most exciting time of the summer: the end of the offseason!…
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NSA Telephone Transcript #68U127IP93
[brief ringing sound, then a phone picking up] OSZ: [brief sound of a phone being fumbled then dropped; faintly] Ah, what the fuck… Drunk…
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Mad MaKSK: A Furious DFOde
[Photoshops and writing help from Mike Wallace And Gromit] (A hot summer sun is rising over the wasteland, and while the misery of…