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Tag: Season Previews
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Why I Won’t Be Watching The NFL This Year: Your Las Vegas Raiders Season Preview (2023 Edition)
Four years ago, among other things, I wrote the following: My feelings toward my imminent divorce from the NFL are not too different. Is…
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2022 New Orleans Saints Team Preview
The Rattle of Metal Ghosts Everyone is dead, nothing left, smoke is all you see, the sound of laughter from little devils surrounds you.…
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That’s My 2021 Raiders! Season Preview
EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: The Las Vegas Home for Imaginary Raiders [sic] is…
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THAT’S MY RAIQERS! YOUR 2020 OAKLAND I MEAN LAS VEGAS RAIDERS SEASON PREVIEW
INT. RAIDERS TEAM HEADQUARTERS – DAY A team owner sits behind a large desk with noticeably rounded corners. He sets a binder on the…
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Why I Won’t Be Watching The NFL This Year: Your 2019 Homeless Raiders Season Preview
In Big Daddy Balls’ 2016 edition of “Why Your Team Sucks” for the Chicago Bears, the fan responses were a pretty standard collection of…
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From Worst to “Maybe they can pull off what the Browns are doing except with concentration camps in their state.”: A 2019 Arizona Cardinals Preview
Short Two Sentence Preview: The Arizona Cardinals are a dysfunctional franchise without competent leadership in the front office and, naming it’s third head coach…
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That’s My Raiders! The New Class (Your 2018 Oakland Raiders Preview)
EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That’s My Ravens [sic] is filmed in front of…
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2018-2019 Chicago Bears Preview
Photo Credit: Some Weird Youtube Video with Adrian Amos Every year of my football-watching life, the off-season has been a giant slog punctuated by…
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Your 2018 “I’ll Keep my Money, Bisciotti” Baltimore Ravens Preview
Twenty years ago I bought my PSL for the Ravens. After i wrote the check I had $100 in my bank account, but having…
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No Ones 2017 – Texans Preview
There is a phenomenon you may have heard of called the Mandela Effect. This is the scariest thing you will find on the internet…