EXT. OAKLAND RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE - DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: That's My Ravens [sic] is filmed in front of a live studio auditorium [sic]. --- CUT TO - INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY SUNSHINE COWSER sits on the coach, reading Sun Tzu's "The Art of War" in its original Chinese.
Photo Credit: Some Weird Youtube Video with Adrian Amos Every year of my football-watching life, the off-season has been a giant slog punctuated by tiny dopamine hits along the otherwise slow, cruel, and seemingly endless march to opening kickoff. As soon as the Super Bowl was over, I craved football's return.
Head Coach: Jim Caldwell, baby! Key Players: Matthew Stafford (QB), Golden Tate (WR), Marvin Jones (WR), Ameer Abdullah (RB), DeAndre Levy (LB), Ezekiel Ansah (DE) Key Losses/Suspensions: MEGATRON. Nothing else matters. Notable Draft Picks: Taylor Decker (OT, Ohio State), A'Shawn Robinson (DT, Alabama), Graham Glasgow (C, Michigan), Miles Killebrew (Southern Utah) Notable Free Agent Signings:
Head Coach: Mike McCarthy Key Players: Aaron Rodgers (QB), Jordy Nelson (WR), Clay Matthews (LB), Eddie Lacy (RB), Julius Peppers (DE) Key Losses/Suspensions: BJ Raji (DL, retired), Casey Hawyard (CB, San Diego), Demitri Goodson (CB, "Drugs", 4 games). Notable Draft Picks: Kenny Clark (DT, UCLA), Jason Spriggs (OT, Indiana), Kyler Fackrell (LB, Utah
INT. RAIDERS TRAINING CAMP CABIN 14 - NIGHT. A pair of dark forms are supposed to be asleep in a set of bunks. AMARI COOPER: [softly] Derek? DEREK CARR: ... AMARI: [louder] Hey, Derek? DEREK: [grumbles] Mmm. AMARI: You awake? DEREK: [groggily] I am now. What's the matter? Did you have another nightmare about Aqib Talib [carrying
Warning: The following post contains drug use, sexual innuendo and profanity. It is not intended for children, the elderly, Mennonites, scowlers, frowners, hipsters, tennis fans, Bill Simmons, pearl-clutchers, accountants, Kirk Cameron, your parents, or the family pet. I'm blowing down some eastern Washington backroad at 110 in a '72 convertible Impala. And that's