Offseason stories

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 8

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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[7:32am, Nogales, Arizona] The duo climbs into the Truck Formerly Known as "Dave".  tWBS throws up in his mouth a little as he buckles his seat belt. balls:  You OK? tWBS:  I can do this....I can do this. balls turns the key, but nothing happens. balls:  Oh shit.  What else did they screw up? tWBS:  No,

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7c

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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Editor's Note:  Welcome to the 3rd and final installment of NOGALES WEEK!!!!!!  Yeah, yeah, don't worry....this is it.  Well at least for Nogales, anyway.  Next week, balls and tWBS start fucking shit up in Arizona.  Now that's something you don't want to miss.  Well, maybe you do...but go here if

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7b

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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Editor's Note:  Welcome to the second installment of the glorious NOGALES WEEK!!!  (crickets chirping) ...  Yeah well, anyway... Fair warning, if you haven't begun reading this insanity before now, or even if you're just not fully caught up, trust me this is not the jumping in point.  Holee Molee.  Go

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7a

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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Editors' Note:  Welcome to Nogales Week!!  This week's installment is so big, yummy, and delicious (phrasing) that it will be spread out over the entire week.  Feel free to tell us about your drunken/drug-fueled escapades in Nogales (or any other border town) in the comments!  Enjoy the ride... [8:54am, Interior of

Canadian Gothic

ballsofsteelandfury -
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[INTERIOR of a high-rise condominium kitchen,  Vancouver,  B.C., Canada,  8:03 AM, on a Saturday] A happy-go-lucky Canadian boy is busy making breakfast. He sings a jolly tune with no actual words to it. Joey:  Doobie doobie doo, dippy dappa doo... Suddenly, the phone rings. Joey:  Gee, it's kinda early on a weekend.  I wonder who

Boots on the Ground: NASCAR Auto Club 400

ballsofsteelandfury -
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As many of you know, I was born in Mexico.  Therefore,  I'm obligated to love auto racing. Them's the rules. You may or may not also know that I love me some NASCAR.  Unfortunately,  I've never been to a live race.  Until this weekend. I have a buddy at work that

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 6

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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Editor's Note:  I HIGHLY recommend that you take some sort of...substance... before reading this.  It gets...weird. Other Editor's Note:  Way ahead of you.  And also....so you think it's just now getting weird?  Maybe I write about some stuff up YOUR ass next time.  And now you got me tripping on acid? 

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 5

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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[Interior of Dave, crossing into Baja California Sur, 7:08 AM] tWBS:  So, how's it going, Mr. ... wait, I had something for this! balls:  Are you trying to reference my wet dream from last night? tWBS:  Yeah.  Come back to me. balls:  God, I hate to have to do this... tWBS:  YES!! balls:  Well, I couldn't

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 4

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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Editor's Note:  Due to a drunken snafu committed by a person that shall remain nameless, you night owls got to see Episode 3 ahead of schedule. This means you get an extra helping of ISOaG this week!  Let the rejoicing begin... [Inside balls' awesome beach house.  There are naked sleeping girls

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 3

theeWeeBabySeamus -
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[6:43pm, dusk, Exterior of balls' kick ass beach house, Deck/Patio area] At the bottom of the stairs leading from balls' house down to the beach, tWBS sits alone sipping wine.  He's lost in the sounds of the surf as it crashes on the beach repeatedly. balls approaches from inside the house and

Free Agency: A Sales Pitch

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Steve Keim: Andrew! Andrew, welcome to Sky Harbor Airport in Phoenix, Arizona! How are you doing? Bruce! Bruce! Come here! Bruce Arians: Oh I was just grabbing a cactus candy. Sorry about that. Keim: Bruce, I want you meet your next left tackle, Andrew Whitworth. Arians: Nice to meet you, Andy. Can I offer