Offseason stories

Who Could It Be Now?

blaxabbath -
18

EXT. CLEVELAND BROWNS ORGANIZED TEAM ACTIVITIES – BEREA, OH Roster mastermind Paul DePodesta watches OTAs from a golf cart in the shade near the practice field. As players run drills and scripted non-contact plays, DePodesta focuses his attention from prospect to prospect, timing the ladder drill or counting the steps of a dropping cornerback.

Back in the Barrel With Ya

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
14

Our esteemed alot of beer is out doing life things that may or may not be more important than reviewing beer for imaginary internet friends, so you're stuck with substitute teachers for the next few Beer Barrels. First sub up: ME! Last time I filled in for this column I wasn't

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 12

theeWeeBabySeamus -
10

We rejoin our three (3? Yeah, 3!) heroes as tWBS and balls are pitching their tents (phrasing) at a campsite in Joshua Tree National Park. It's characterized by rugged rock formations and stark desert landscapes. Named for the region’s twisted, bristled Joshua trees, the park straddles the cactus-dotted Colorado Desert and the

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 11

theeWeeBabySeamus -
23

[4:26PM, Somewhere in the California Desert] The duo climbs back into Dave and tWBS starts the engine.  Without speaking, he then reaches into the backseat, opens the cooler and pulls out a beer.  He offers it to balls. balls (pointing to cupholder):  Nah, I'm good.  I've still got that one. tWBS:  One, that

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 10

theeWeeBabySeamus -
35

[6:24pm, Gilbert, Arizona] The two have now spent hours at the golf course eating, drinking and looking at girls and have predictably lost track of time... balls:  I just want to apologize again about being mean to you about golf.  I never knew... balls:  Are all golf courses like this? tWBS:  Noooo...no no.  It's

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 9

theeWeeBabySeamus -
8

[7:36pm, Tombstone, Arizona] The sun is about to duck below the horizon and the last of the day's glow is soon destined to follow.  As evening transitions into dusk, our heroes are beginning to feel desperate. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atuJzivuF1o Nonetheless, the two continue to search for the only store still open and finally find it. balls: 

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 8

theeWeeBabySeamus -
26

[7:32am, Nogales, Arizona] The duo climbs into the Truck Formerly Known as "Dave".  tWBS throws up in his mouth a little as he buckles his seat belt. balls:  You OK? tWBS:  I can do this....I can do this. balls turns the key, but nothing happens. balls:  Oh shit.  What else did they screw up? tWBS:  No,

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7c

theeWeeBabySeamus -
11

Editor's Note:  Welcome to the 3rd and final installment of NOGALES WEEK!!!!!!  Yeah, yeah, don't worry....this is it.  Well at least for Nogales, anyway.  Next week, balls and tWBS start fucking shit up in Arizona.  Now that's something you don't want to miss.  Well, maybe you do...but go here if

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7b

theeWeeBabySeamus -
16

Editor's Note:  Welcome to the second installment of the glorious NOGALES WEEK!!!  (crickets chirping) ...  Yeah well, anyway... Fair warning, if you haven't begun reading this insanity before now, or even if you're just not fully caught up, trust me this is not the jumping in point.  Holee Molee.  Go

In Search of a Goddess – Episode 7a

theeWeeBabySeamus -
9

Editors' Note:  Welcome to Nogales Week!!  This week's installment is so big, yummy, and delicious (phrasing) that it will be spread out over the entire week.  Feel free to tell us about your drunken/drug-fueled escapades in Nogales (or any other border town) in the comments!  Enjoy the ride... [8:54am, Interior of