Sexy Friday, Post-Olympics edition!

I’ve decided to switch up the format of Sexy Friday a little bit.

Change is good. Go with me here.

One reason is that I’ve found that I need a space to put some stuff out there that doesn’t fall into the traditional post categories. I’ve done serials with tWBS, the AFL Beat, Open Threads, and the 25 Questions series. None of those really lend themselves to talking about certain things that catch my eye that I’d like to pass on to you all.

This is type of thing that I would normally talk to my friends about and say, “Dude, did you see …?” or “Dude, did you hear about…?” While one individual thing may not merit a full post, I’m thinking sprinkling a few in the Sexy Friday post will act kinda like a Balls’ Week In Review.

Something like that. We’ll see how it goes.

Do not worry, I will not be forgetting about the Sexy! Truth be told, though, you fuckers aren’t posting as many pics as before, so It looks like I’ll have to shorten the number of pics from 25 to like a Top Ten or something. No. Eleven. Eleven was my football number in high school (Safety and Cornerback, not QB) and it’s appropriate for this site.

Without further ado, here are my Thoughts O’ Da Week:

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If I were to ask you which country was the most successful in the Olympic games this year, many would say the US as we won the most medals. Others might say Japan because they won the third-most GOLD medals as the host and that’s how the IOC officially lists the medal count table.

If I may, though, I’d like to make the case for tiny San Marino. This is a country (some call it a micro-state) located in the northern part of Italy close to the Adriatic on a mountain called Mt. Titan.

Let’s zoom in a little closer…

It is the oldest extant sovereign state and it is the oldest constitutional republic in the world. It was founded in 301 AD.

The Tim Traveler is a great YouTuber that I enjoy watching and he’s done a series on this awesome little country:

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I greatly enjoy his videos and I think you will too. You might want to subscribe if you do that kind of thing.

Anyway, the thing that drew my attention as far as San Marino’s Olympic prowess was the medal table. Tiny San Marino won 3 medals! One silver and two bronze.

For the sake of comparison, México, the land of my birth and with A LOT more people, won 4 medals, all bronze.

The thing that REALLY drew my eye, though, is that San Marino sent a grand total of 5 athletes to Tokyo.

That’s it. And they got 3 medals!

They sent one male judo athlete, one female shooter, one male shooter, one female swimmer, and one male wrestler.

The male wrestler won a bronze, the female shooter won a bronze, and the two shooters won a silver in a mixed team competition. Out of the 5 athletes, 3 got medals and the female shooter realistically got two.

That’s incredible!

I don’t think you can point to another country and say they had a more successful Olympics than San Marino.

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And now for the Sexy! Following the Olympic theme, I present to you the 11 hottest Olympians as selected by me.

As usual, click HERE if you want to avoid the cheesecake/beefcake.

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Alica Schmidt – Germany (Track & Field)
Zehra Güneş – Turkey (Volleyball)
Valentina Acosta Giraldo – Colombia (Archery)
Daria Bilodid – Ukraine (Judo)
Avishag Semberg – Israel (Taekwondo)
Georgia Ellenwood – Canada (Track & Field)
Janja Gambret – Slovenia (Rock Climbing)
Farah Ann Abdul Hadi – Malaysia (Gymnastics)
Fridolina Rolfö – Sweden (Fútbol)
María Pérez Vilaplana – España (Track & Field)
(Balls’ Pic O’ Da Week!)
Tatiana Weston-Webb – Brasil (Surfing)

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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

I will continue with the music because one of the things that I love about this site is how we introduce ourselves to cool new things. I will occasionally do puzzles as well to keep you on your mental toes.

This week, I wanted to go with some artists from the early days of electronic music. Plus, there’s a tribute to tWBS in there.

Here are your six videos of the week!

Song Number One:

Underworld – King of Snake

Canción Número Dos:

Orbital – Halcyon On and On

Chanson Numéro Trois:

A Guy Called Gerald – Trip City

Canzone numero quattro:

DJ Shadow – Midnight in a Perfect World

Canção número cinco

Röyksopp – What Else Is There? (ARTBAT Remix)

Seigarren zenbakia:

The Orb – Toxygene

***

The English Premier League starts tomorrow and there’s a Pick’em Pool! Follow this link:

https://fantasy.espn.com/games/english-premier-league-pickem-2021/group?id=5015c670-ada1-4413-93aa-9b4a4abb1e20&joining=true

to join in the fun!

Yes, there was a game today, but newly-promoted Brentford beat Shitty Arsenal 2-0 (Editor’s Note: hahahahahahahahahaha) and no one picked that, so we will all be starting from 0 if you enter today!

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One more thing! A present from Uncle Brocky:

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I cannot embed because Nudity, but it is one of the greatest gifs I’ve ever seen. Enjoy!

***

I’ve no idea if Dusty Street is still alive or dead, but I’m going to steal her signoff.

Be good to each other and always remember to Fly Low and Avoid the Radar.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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2Pack

There is nothing in San Marino. Been there its just up the hill from the GREAT beaches in Rimini. But hats off to thier athletics program, that was crushin it.

Mr. Ayo

Haha! 4 pitch walk off walk courtesy of the Dirt Maple Leafs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I heard an announcer say that the no-overtime thing was only for the preseason. boo.

TheRevanchist

The gameplay is terrible, but I am so happy to see it again.

TheRevanchist

I would like to give a big shoutout to the Canadian beach volleyball team, as well. They made me happy in many ways.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, look what I found today!

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Wow. Do you still have a VCR? That’s pretty retro. I’ve got an old Panasonic Direct Drive Turntable, and a bunch of my old LPs but I haven’t had that stuff hooked up in 20 years.

Mr. Ayo

I do not have a VCR. Wish I did now though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That is more Horatio than even Horatio wants

Mr. Ayo

Our drinking game in college was a shot or drink (can’t remember which, so probably shot) every time Hornblower was said. Good times.

TheRevanchist

No porn? I am severely disappointed.

Mr. Ayo

That’s been digitized and backed up elsewhere, sir.

Horatio Cornblower

Pleased to announce that we have reached the “eating cold breakfast sausage while drinking beer” portion of the evening.

Also the dog hasn’t noticed that I have the sausage out, so he’s clearly dying.

litre_cola

More of a cold cut and block of cheese with a knife guy, but I appreciate the leftover meats.

litre_cola

Evenin, was on dad duty and a buddy stopped over. Got into the gin after the wine. I have dad duty all day tomorrow as Mrs. Cola is out and will be hungover. That will make the score Litre 356363 Mrs Cola about 12

Horatio Cornblower

Here’s a fun similar story. My best friend’s mother passed away about two decades ago, and her service was on St. Patrick’s Day. She was a lady who would have wanted St. Patrick to be recognized, funeral or no, and her wishes were acknowledged. The night ended with several of us at a biker bar, and my wife dancing on said bar with several of the employees.

I had to be up at 5:30 to get another friend to the airport by 7. I got 2-3 hours of sleep and managed to get him to the airport on time. I got home at 8:30 and just wanted to get some sleep. My wife had been up since 6 with a 3-year-old and a 6-month-old, neither of whom was in a mood to be reasonable. I was handed both children and told to wake her up at noon.

The 6-month old was put in a vibrating rocking chair, the 3-year old in front of the TV with Nickelodoen locked in, and I passed out on the couch. Miraculously, neither managed to find their way out of the house.

Later I learned that my friend threw up on his flight back to Chicago, so Cornblower House 1-American Airlines Flight 772 0.

Doktor Zymm

Is it just me, or is ‘Fred’ a very nonthreatening name for a tropical storm?

litre_cola

HE IS UNDERUSED KHUI EGF IVEHFC IEDB OEBCN!!!!!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of sexy, lady BFC stumbled across this on the Instagram: https://cocktailpete.com/
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Last edited 3 years ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Gumbygirl

That’s really pretty. I would drink it, and then another, and then I would be wasted. But elegantly, naturellement.

Mr. Ayo

Like a fucking lady!

litre_cola

I know I am high as fuck eating chocolate zucchini bread Like a fucking lady right now!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently there are no international teams in the LLWS this year due to Covid.

So David Duke will ensure that Jared Fogler is no longer the creepiest fan at the LLWS.

Doktor Zymm

I should try to find some good BBQ this weekendcomment image

Horatio Cornblower

Every weekend is a good weekend for this sentiment.

Anthony In TX

This Texan will always support the search for good BBQ.

Of course, being Texan, I am genetically predisposed to shit-talk any non-Texas BBQ, no matter how good it may actually be. So enjoy your trash BBQ and come down to Texas sometime to see it done right.

Horatio Cornblower

Jessica Mendoza praising the Montana Little Leaguers, (who just got waxed 12-1), because “they were alive” when the last Montana team went to the LL Word Series and they saw how much fun that was.

Montana last went to the LLWS 10 years ago. LL ages kids out at 12-13. Unravel the paradox as you have been taught.

King Hippo

Koach Kliff Khaos!

King Hippo

When Shaq-Fu does these ads, you reckon they gots to reinforce the set floors first?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Brocky, looks like you’re around–are you doing the Bears preview or do you want someone else to take it?

King Hippo

Why do they dress Rashida Jones like an Amish lady in this ad campaign?

Last edited 3 years ago by King Hippo
SonOfSpam

Yes THANK you. It’s very dong-confusing.

Mr. Ayo

Use your imagination incels!

SonOfSpam

Commercials are supposed to do that work for me.

King Hippo

I am 48. Imagination will no longer suffice. You need to beat me over the head with it.

litre_cola

You can pay for that in Germany.

SonOfSpam

Drove to the store after work to get alcohol and whatever, and KROQ played Dramarama and it was nice.

Last edited 3 years ago by SonOfSpam
King Hippo

I bet they NEVAR got(get?) tired of ppls asking them to play Cruel Summer at they concerts.

SonOfSpam

GIT YER RAMAS STRAIGHT

Doktor Zymm

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Last edited 3 years ago by Doktor Zymm
Horatio Cornblower

I will accept no medicine if it is not based on leeches.

Doktor Zymm

If a leech drinks your blood when you’ve been taking leech pills and leech tonic extract, is that some form of leech cannibalism?

Horatio Cornblower

/dies of a head cold before he can answer

King Hippo

Think one of the Qards announcers is a Jesse Ventura cosplayer

scotchnaut

Yes! I was trying to place the voice.

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit, nailed it!

scotchnaut

Bass-o-Matic!

King Hippo

Nobody circles the wagons like Bass-o-Matic 2021!

King Hippo

Non-Gendereds! Qards!! WHO YA GOT??

Viva La Tabula Raza

San Marino was a QB that couldn’t win the big one.

Doktor Zymm

I also want to congratulate the Brentford Bees for their win over Arsenal, and for putting my pick ’em team where I just picked the least likely thing to happen in first place for probably the only time this entire season!

Doktor Zymm

To expand on Balls’s point re: San Marino, they have the highest medals per capita by a large margin – https://www.medalspercapita.com/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a buddy that used to run an Olympics betting pool around this approach. Really makes you root for weird shit.

Doktor Zymm

I’m up for doing this as a winter Olympics DFO competition

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If he runs it again I’ll spread it through the whole DFO backroom

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s be like the Syphillis Summer of ’17 all over again!

clint greasewood

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King Hippo

I would happily murder all y’all if Alica Schmidt told me to.

Amazing, there are actually fans still in the Silverdome in Q4, actively and un-ironically rooting for the No-Fuck Lions. Not just hobos trying to get out of the rain.

Gumbygirl

This has been a good game for them.

King Hippo

The 4th quarter has been pretty good! They should have played 4th stringers the whole game.

scotchnaut

Can’t believe that Lion cb let the Bill wr get behind him on 4th down. Silly.

King Hippo

I mean, he’s 4th string on the No-Fuck Lions for a reason!

Anthony In TX

Sorry I haven’t been around as much this week. Work has been kicking my ass up and down the block.
How about some Daniela Melchior from THE Suicide Squad to make up for it?
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Anthony In TX

Part two of Ratcatcher 2:
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, Ratcatcher 2 can get it.

Anthony In TX

Agreed.

Wakezilla

I hope I have time to do an Arsenal fans react reasonably. President Kagame is not taking this loss well. He’s made 3 tweets about the loss.

The responses in the comments are dark funny.

clint greasewood
Wakezilla

Arsenal is sponsored by Visit Rwanda.

A tweet from Rwanda’s President: “What?? It’s football,it’s a loss of Arsenal at/to Brentford. Brentford deserved to win and they did. The game itself aside Arsenal and the fans don’t deserve to kind of get used to this….NO !!! I say this as one of the big fans of Arsenal. The change has taken to long to come!”

Arsenal fans react reasonably coming next week?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was thinking of a fun scam – sell counterfeit QR codes for vaccination status. Now normally the QR codes connect to a state/county database that’s got your status, but you could spoof a convincing enough looking website to fool a moderately indifferent gatekeeper. Sell them at…say, $20 a pop, via a nice untraceable bitcoin transaction.

Here’s the catch, though. They only work once. So when the user checks to see if you’ve delivered the goods, everything looks fine and dandy. But the next time someone visits the link, it specifies very clearly that THIS IS A COUNTERFEIT VACCINATION CERTIFICATION and they get busted.

Alternately sell a bunch of them and have them all stop working at the same time, like after a week or so.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Mr. Ayo

Fake cards are currently around $100. So up the price.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think instead of working out tonight maybe I should just drink too much beer instead.

Anthony In TX

Curls with a full beer in your hand count as a sort of workout.

Doktor Zymm

Can’t let your liver and kidneys get all lazy!

Horatio Cornblower

I worked out this afternoon and am drinking too much beer tonight.

You just have to manage your time.

blaxabbath

Yeah why’s Mexico so bad at the summer games?

blaxabbath

And, as always, thanks for the Prude link.

Mr. Ayo

I implore you, do not scroll down!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And China has the diving events on lockdown. It’s basically every other country in the world vying for a single bronze.

Doktor Zymm

Plus those British dudes that upset them in the synchronized diving event!

SonOfSpam

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim is already here.

SonOfSpam

(that joke is at least as old as the 84 KA Olympics)

Brocky

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Anthony In TX

If she walked in the door, I think I’d faint.

Horatio Cornblower

You sure would, because that picture is ten years old and her husband would probably be coming in the door behind her.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The real Jay Cutler would not care that this had happened.

blaxabbath

The sad truth is these retards are going for formal power.

And the corporations who run them LOVE it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He’ll win, and then after two weeks of dealing with soul-crushing boredom and asshole parents he’ll never attend another meeting again for the rest of his life.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Anthony In TX

My goodness. You’re a good friend.

Mr. Ayo

All blessings should be directed to these beautiful ladies and their willingness to be photographed.

Horatio Cornblower

Willingness to be photographed, desire to get out of the basement and see natural light again.

Tomato, Tomahto.

Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Mr. Ayo

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Brocky

Tremendous hustle there. My goodness

Mr. Ayo

Some extras just for you and balls

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scotchnaut

Goddamn it, Devin Singletary looks really good. Do I bet on him yet again? He’s come up snake eyes his first two years.