Marble League Rolldown: Events 12 & 13

Senor Weaselo - August 11, 2020August 10, 2020

Five events remain in the quest for marble sports glory. Will a former champion reclaim the throne in the Marble League, whether the O'rangers or Midnight Wisps? Or will a new team emerge and have their time on top of the mountain, such the Minty Maniacs or the Crazy Cat's

Boots On The Ground: Actual Live Sports!

WhyEaglesWhy - August 10, 2020August 8, 2020

Ever since the Coronavirus unleashed its plan to colonize our bodies with weapons-grade cooties, the world had been denied the joys of attending live sporting events. Contrarianism, a lack of respect for expertise, and an absence of basic empathy have concocted a heady brew that continues to make attending sports

Marble League Rolldown: Events 10 & 11

Senor Weaselo - August 4, 2020August 4, 2020

It's a battle throughout the standings as we've crossed the midpoint. After this article, there will be 5 events left at Marble League 2020. Combine that with the return of Marbula E (Mercedes was running away after the first 3 races; sponsors Envision Virgin Racing were stuck in neutral) and

Marble League Rolldown: Events 8 & 9

Senor Weaselo - July 28, 2020July 27, 2020

We return to the Andromedome and to the Rolldown, as we get to the midpoint of the season's biggest competition that won't get stopped by the Miami goddamn Marlins. The last time we were here, records were falling left and right. The hurdles had the record continuously get lowered, and the

Marble League Rolldown: Events 6 & 7

Senor Weaselo - July 21, 2020July 20, 2020

We return to the Rolldown, described by someone on the Jelle's Marble Runs subreddit as "Comprehensive. To the max." This week another two events were on the schedule as we watched to see whether another team wanted to join the Minty Maniacs, O'rangers, and Crazy Cat's Eyes in the upper

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Events 4 & 5

Senor Weaselo - July 14, 2020July 14, 2020

We're back at the Andromedome, and as we've moved into the actual dog days, we're moving into a two events per week format. So that means slightly less clogging up the airways on my end as we cover two events as the Minty Maniacs and O'rangers seemingly square off for

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Event 3

Senor Weaselo - July 8, 2020July 7, 2020

Welcome back to the Rolldown. With two events complete, Balancing and Halfpipe, we move to the first individual event of the competition, the Funnel Endurance. The question is, will it follow form? And of following form, will a third different team take gold, or will the O'rangers or Minty Maniacs

Road to Retirement – Sunday Evening thread.

litre_cola - July 5, 2020July 5, 2020

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Good evening from your hat, hope you are all safe, sound and are drunk again as Sunday hangovers are the worst. When our dear internet uncle TWBS passed away, he and I were working on a fiction thing. We got a bit into it and then he left us, making us

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: Event 2

Senor Weaselo - June 30, 2020June 29, 2020

Well, we're still here, so that's nice. We return to the Rolldown with the second event of the 2020 Marble League, the halfpipe! In our first event, it was the Minty Maniacs surprising us all by taking gold in their first event all the way back from the depths of the

Senor’s Marble League Rolldown: The Games Begin! (ML2020 Opening Ceremony & Event 1)

Senor Weaselo - June 23, 2020June 22, 2020

Yes, we made it. We're not all dead yet and can experience the gravitas, the splendor, the magnificence that is the pinnacle of marble sports. Marble League 2020, from the Andromedome. To lead it off, the opening ceremonies, with King Stardust, and the primary members of the JMR Staff and Committee

Update From Unabomber Shack Open Thread

King Hippo - April 11, 2020April 11, 2020

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I am not writing any damned manifesto (who the fuck would read it?) but my descent into Quarantine Madness continues unabated. We are now in simulated Season Three of the Bernard Gilkey era leading Everton Football Club. First, we finished our usual, solid 8th. I had to spend most of my

Boots on the Ground: My Really Big Caucus Day

blaxabbath - March 3, 2020March 3, 2020

Hello all. Sebastian Blax here. As many of you may have heard, since my previous Boots on the Ground published piece, "I Just Don't Have a Parole Officer -- A BOTG Experience", I have uprooted from the deserts of Phoenix and moved to the deserts of Las Vegas. Unrelated, you