Live On Periscope: Tío Salamanca Gives Fantasy Draft Strategy

Don T - August 27, 2016August 27, 2016

[3:30 sunlight shines into nursing home room with top production values.] Door Flies Open: Oh, Tío! Who knew that underneath your insatiable bloodlust there was an equally intense passion for fantasy football... DFO: Is it true that the Flex position was invented by a mule who ran with you back in Juárez? Tío Salamanca: DingDingDingDing. Nurse: Don’t

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 45)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 26, 2016August 24, 2016

The scene: Somewhere in the Midwest. At night. On a deserted road. It's kind of spooky. It's even spookier because there's a body in the road. I mean, that's never good. Sitting in the car that just ran the poor guy over are Future Moose, Ballsofsteelandfury, Low Commander of the

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 44)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 19, 2016August 18, 2016

The scene: Somewhere in the Midwest. Future Moose is driving his new car...which isn't really new. In fact, it's kind of old. And a bit leaky. It might creak a little bit when it brakes. And the exhaust fumes when it accelerates might just be a global warming tipping point.

BattleBots Olympic Special: The Top 20 BattleBots Fights of All Time, Part 2

Senor Weaselo - August 18, 2016August 18, 2016

Welcome back to another week of filler while BattleBots is on Olympic break. Last week we went over the 11th to 20th-best fights in BattleBots history as determined by noted BattleBots fan Senor Weaselo. (That's right, I'm giving myself honorifics now.) We had fights from as early as 2001 and fights as recent

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BattleBots Olympic Break: The 20 Greatest BattleBots Fights, Part 1

Senor Weaselo - August 12, 2016August 12, 2016

Hi everyone, Senor back from two weeks of playing musical theater for a two-week break before going back to play more musical theater. Which means I can re-take the recaps! For those of you who missed Rikki's excellent job of filling in for me, we ended the round of 32

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Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 43)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 12, 2016August 11, 2016

The scene: The John Tyler Junior High Dungeons & Dragons club. A young Percival Po sits behind his Dungeon Master screen, rolling a variety of polyhedral dice. Also playing are young Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Brocky and Old School Zero. Young Po: You reach the end of the corridor...what do you

Battlebots Recap: Episode 6

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - August 5, 2016August 5, 2016

Last night saw the first four matches in the Sweet Sixteen, with the second four coming next week. Here's what you missed: Minotaur vs. Warhead Minotaur is my pick to win the whole tournament, and showed no signs of slowing down here. Warhead was one of the oddest looking robots in the competition,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 42)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - August 5, 2016August 4, 2016

The scene: Mrs. Grigsby's third-grade class. Young Percival Po is standing at the front of the classroom, showing off his robot drawing for show & tell. Young Po: This is my robot...he's made of a special titanium alloy that you can only make in space, an' he's got a flame-thrower for

[DFOnline] A $20 million Video Game Tournament

MikeWallaceAndGromit - August 2, 2016

The task of describing what DOTA (pronounced "doh-tuh") is, and why it's such a huge deal in the gaming world is a difficult task. I made a decent attempt last year (in what happens to be my first DFO post) that serves as a good starter. The biggest DOTA tournament of the year,

Conflicted Feelings About Confusing Shit

jjfozz - August 1, 2016August 1, 2016

Christmas is almost here. And I don’t mean that fucking bullshit holiday where I spent a million dollars on gifts and hear my kids say, “Is that all?” on a Christmas morning that is witness to a thudding headache and dry mouth – because the holiday season calls for bourble. Nope,

Commentist Beer Barrel: Cocktail Hour

makeitsnowondem - August 1, 2016August 1, 2016

If there's any one trend in beer that I've been especially hesitant to adopt, it's the beer cocktail. When I want a beer, I just want a beer, not two or more beers mixed together. I want to drink the thing that a brewery carefully crafted, put its heart ans soul

Battlebots Recap: Episode 5

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - July 29, 2016July 29, 2016

Last night Battlebots pushed through the final eight matches in the Round of 32 to set things up for the Sweet Sixteen, which meant we got four full fights and four cut matches. Here's what happened: Beta vs. Overhaul Beta is a strange bot, in that its main motion is reminiscent of