And So It Begins! Footy Renewed

King Hippo - August 12, 2023August 11, 2023

133

We kicked off the Premier League under Boo-urnley's Friday Night Lights. What is the bestest reality check for the confident champions of the Championship? Oh yeah, a goal from Erling Haaland like 3 minutes into play. To their credit, the Clarets hung in, playing evenly for the next 30 or so

“Pep Crushing Fat Sam” Lesser Open Sabado

King Hippo - May 6, 2023May 5, 2023

115

The big (pin intended) news of the past week is Leeds making the ultimate panic move - hiring Fat Sam Allardyce aka Gravy Tits aka (many other nicknames). He's corrupt, a tactical dinosaur, solely interested in media attention and self-promotion. Don't cry for the Stupid White Male being left behind,

1 April Lesser and JV Hardwood Thread

King Hippo - April 1, 2023March 31, 2023

169

April Fools' Day is the dumbest day of the Murrikan calendar. YES, even worse than Greeting Card Day (ie, 14 Feb). Take that shit somewhere else. City host the Redshite early (Peacock, 7:30), but down a Foden and likely Haaland, too. They should still be better (especially at home) but there's

Guttersnipe

BC Dick - March 28, 2023March 28, 2023

The last one. Sweet mother of god am I ever eager to get this league over with. A night at the alley with friends while luring meeting lady tourists? Great time. 4 months of league bowling? Sure, that’s swell. I can do those things and enjoy them. But almost 7 full months

The Prem Before the Break Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 18, 2023March 17, 2023

152

Next week, while I am traveling (I know, not looking forward to that experience whatsoever) Hippo will miss the last international break of 2022-23. Which is to say, hooray for me. All things considered, a reasonable slate of fixtures. Because of misaligned DST, we start later than usual (8:30, USA) with

Your Oscars Open thread. Now with more balls!

ballsofsteelandfury - March 12, 2023March 12, 2023

161

Your friendly Puerto Rican good life enthusiast is not able to take care of tonight's Open Thread as he has some pressing business to attend to. (read: hot date with spicy Latina). By the way, the term Spicy Latina is redundant. Tonight, we have what is affectionately called around LA as

PSG/Bayern – A Tale of Two…

King Hippo - March 8, 2023

Giant, prolapsed assholes. Sorry, we's not supposed to use swears in the title line. But yeah, these two plastic squadrons are expected to win their domestic leagues in their sleep. As such, Shempions League is their exclusive "dick measuring" domain, and one is about to go out before the Flacco Eight.

Nice Jerb, Minnows! Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - March 4, 2023March 3, 2023

134

Before we get to the weekend in the Prem, let's acknowledge the upstarts making noise in the FA Cup. Here is how the Flacco Eight break down: Two bullies (Men United; City of Men) Two Prem surprise packages (Trashbirds; Mighty Whitey) THREE Championship sides (Team Knifey; Boo-urnley; Blackburn) One miracle

God Bless Don Carlo – Saturday Footy Musings

King Hippo - February 25, 2023February 24, 2023

181

There is a very light schedule this week (no early fixture at all), so let's also look back at mid-week in Shempions. Oh my cats, y'all. The pure JOY of the Redshite melting down, in the home leg of the tie. Up 2-nil after 15 minutes of play, only to lose

Aaaaa [harp notes] The Shempiens… Round of 16, Gameday 2

Don T - February 15, 2023February 15, 2023

Hello, individual in the middle of a workday, welcome to Day 2 of the Final 16 of the Shempiens Lïg. Teams play a two-legged series, ida and vuelta en español, which sounds like a holiday. Or, going and coming in English, which would be a very very efficient booty call. YOU: Ah

Guttersnipe

BC Dick - February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

The march continues. The ‘fingers are still mired in second-last place. After what very well may be 6 games in the second half (or so) of the year we’ve managed 16 points. The leaders have 34 and the next 6 teams are all cheek-to-jowl with 28 to 32 points each.

A Valentine for the Shempiens – Round of 16, Gameday 1

Don T - February 14, 2023February 14, 2023

After an intense Hate Week and the sudden end of the NFL season, here’s Valentine’s Day: the most superficial and fabricated holiday there is. First, it’s a workday. Second, it’s all about merchandising and half-assing affection. Hearing “What are WE going to do for Valentine’s Day” sounds more like a