Total Recall – Revisiting Footy at the Half-ish-way Point

King Hippo - February 4, 2023February 3, 2023

Hippo is still too angry to see straight. But good news (if not an Evertonian) - footy is back this weekend. Bad news? The fixture slate sucks hobo asshole. At least until tomorrow's Spotlight Dance (Spurs v. City, 11:30, NBC). So, let us look back upon what has happened to date,

BattleBots Beat: In the Aaaarms of an Aaaaangel…

Senor Weaselo - February 2, 2023February 2, 2023

Okay, the title's really for this bit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlh1AKYk-5M This might be better than any of the comedy bits when the show was on Comedy Central. Welcome back to the Beat! Last week we learned we saw things we had never seen before, like Jackpot losing a Fight Night fight, things we've seen a

Balls Magazine Volume 6

ballsofsteelandfury - February 1, 2023January 30, 2023

As you may remember from Volume 5, I wanted to try the TopTracer setup at the Alhambra Golf Course. On a lazy Saturday, I decided to head back and try my luck. This time, the range was open and I was happy to see there were several bays available. When I

Guttersnipe

BC Dick - January 31, 2023January 31, 2023

The Fingers are slipping. Our grip now loose and floppy after once being sunk firmly and deeply into the grab-holes of first place. We are nearing the pure, un-scrubbed ass bottom of the league standings. I’m also being consistently shorted on purples when I get “rainbow” carrots. We entered last week

A Very Wrexham Wrevanchist Morning

King Hippo - January 29, 2023January 29, 2023

As y'all no doubt know, the mighty Wrexham (having made it a round deeper in the FA Cup than Piss Off You're Scaring the Children Everton) host Team Knifey today (11:00, ESPN+). They even were kind enough to schedule it in a West Coast-friendly way. I asked the Clubhouse's #1

Everton Football Club, Burned Down to the Ground

King Hippo - January 28, 2023January 27, 2023

106

All good things must come to an end. Frank Lampard saved Everton from itself in 2021-22, but had no answers for this season. Still, he was an honest and decent professional, with modern management ideals. He knew Everton needed to get with the times, press more, control the ball, get

BattleBots Beat: Return of the Euro Bots!

Senor Weaselo - January 26, 2023January 26, 2023

Welcome back to the Beat! Last time out, we had our first stoppage of the season. And by stoppage, I mean "fight stopped due to unable to separate robots/something happened to something, let's go to the judges." And the Rule 34 part of the fandom probably rejoiced. But on the

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Just, Ugh

Senor Weaselo - January 25, 2023January 25, 2023

105

I was going to do a whole thing that was basically the beginning portion of The Beatles's "A Day in the Life" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usNsCeOV4GM and then decided "meh, not in the mood to talk about all the domestic violence that's going on." Seriously, what in the actual fuck people? Yes, I'm looking at

Balls Magazine Volume 5

ballsofsteelandfury - January 25, 2023January 21, 2023

It was supposed to rain all day but the atmospheric river must have run dry as it was nice and sunny around noon. Feeling antsy and having planned nothing, I figured I'd go to the range and get some practice in. I had discovered that the Alhambra Golf Course had

BattleBots Beat: Bad Dragon

Senor Weaselo - January 19, 2023January 18, 2023

Oh, the things we've learned of from Balls's AVN posts, and the Giant Washer awards… Welcome back to the Beat! We're one week in and already the defending champ is 0-1. This week, the younger sibling tries to pick up the gauntlet… against the preseason #1. Also two of last year's

Balls Magazine Volume 4

ballsofsteelandfury - January 18, 2023January 15, 2023

On a whim, I decided to head to my local 9 Hole golf course to see if I could get on. It was a cloudy and cold day, so I figured not too many people would be out. I figured if I got on, cool, and, if not, I could

Post Self-Justification Lesser Footy Thread

King Hippo - January 14, 2023January 13, 2023

104

Every January, to my great discomfort, I am summoned to justify my continued existence within the law firm. It's like somebody decided, "hey, we don't think Hippo focuses enough on his self-hatred and feelings of personal and professional failure - let's stare at him and make him do a little