Your “Object May Be Closer Than Appears” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Derek Carr got paid. Five years, $125 million. He's now the highest-paid QB. Jaws isn't sure if ESPN will have him back for the 2017 season. He feels there are more layoffs coming, and the network hasn't yet said what his role will be going forward. Mild Crimebeat!

Your “Well, Here’s Proof There Is No God” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

To answer the question from last night: $200. NFL News: For reasons that will become apparent after the sun swallows the earth, Jerry Jones & some Hall of Fame folks met the Pope at The Vatican. At least Robert Kraft is an observant Jew, which made the Jerusalem event yesterday make

Your “Opening Night Beer Night!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL notes: In a statement that strains both human credibility and the "bullshit" test, Roger Goodell says "my friendship with Robert [Kraft] was never strained." He says he still plans to attend the Patriots season opener in September. Learning a new meaning for the term "veteran talent", Jets fans have found

SCOTUS Slants in Favor of The [REDACTEDS], You Don’t Have To

Yesterday, the Supreme Court of the U.S. decided Matal v. Tam.  Simon Tam, lead singer of “The Slants”, applied for trademark protection of the band’s name—his reason: to reclaim the racial slur. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office denied it, under a statute that prohibits registration of a trademark that

Your “Out For Summer, Out ’til Fall, I Might Not Come Back At All” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: How was Jeremy Maclin cut from the Chiefs? By voicemail. To be fair to Andy Reid, he might've thought he'd called a BBQ joint and was ordering a cut of beef. The Rams traded former 2014 first-round draft pick Greg Robinson to the Lions for a sixth-round pick

Your “Oh, I Don’t Know – Let’s Say Moe” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes: the Titans are kicking Eric Decker's tires. Brent Griffith, who spent one year with the Bills in 1990, is being charged with insurance fraud over said AFC Championship ring. he had claimed it stolen, but was ratted out by his ex-wife who believes didn't get her share. Number

Your “All That’s Left Now Is The Waiting For Training Camps” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: The [Redacteds] have named first black Super Bowl QB Doug Williams VP of player personnel. Deciding a soft Achilles is preferable to a gimpy hip, the Ravens welcomed Benjamin Watson back to camp. Michael Irvin held a press conference, essentially asking prosecutors to 'piss or get off the

Your “Just One More Playoff To Go” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Mike McCarthy, seen right with the only reason he's still employed, has dismissed all veterans with 6+ years of NFL experience from mandatory minicamp this week. the logic is that, under Jon Gruden's favourite provisions of the CBA, actual coaching time with players is at a premium, so why

Your “Death & Darkness Are Rushing Forward” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Luckily, there's still The Darkness. NFL Notes: Julian Edelman & the Patriots have agreed on a contract extension. Otherwise, this was the final year of his four-year deal signed in 2014. Also, no one smaller than him is a free agent, so Belichick had no choice - other than scouring the

Your “Man, OTAs Are Boring!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes: PeyPey has been contracted by Riddell as a "consultant" on their new helmet designs. First order of business - more head room! Jeremy Maclin, still visiting the Bills. Maybe he was waiting for Shareece Wright, so he could take the kid's Uber back to Chicago. Dennis Pitta's injury-plagued

Your “What – Nothing’s On Again?! Where’s “The Longest Day”?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News: Proving you can move a team but the misery still follows, Chargers rookie Mike Williams is out of remaining OTAs with a herniated disc. Jamaal Charles hopes to be the #1 back in Denver in 2017. "When I left Kansas City, I was still at the top. It was