A 1,000% Rational Titans Bye Report (2021 Playoffs)

Don T - January 21, 2022January 21, 2022

We’re into the meaty portion of the 2021 postseason, and what an occasion for NFL calendar pedantry (2022 starts after the Superb Owl), and also crowing about the Tennessee Titans Tits of Titanium being the AFC’s #1 seed. Ok. In reconsideration, more score-settling than crowing. A. During Weeks 7-17, everyone gave mad love

Bye Week Update: New England Patriots

The Maestro - December 14, 2021December 13, 2021

[INT. - Natick Mall Christmas display. Despite the ongoing COVID pandemic, we see lines of happy shoppers, as well as a gaggle of small children eagerly awaiting their chance to meet Santa Claus.] SULLY THE ELF: Listen up all youse kids! Santa's just runnin' a couple minutes behind sched but should

Your “Oh, crap, did the season start already?” 2021 Chicago Bears Preview / Bye Week Update

DFOing Good

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 17, 2021November 16, 2021

Scene: Interior Halas Hall. The entire Bears brain trust [sic] sits around a mahogany table talking about the current roster, coaching staff, and other personnel. SO HOW DO WE THINK THE TEAM IS LOOKING THIS YEAR? Better than my face? Look, I'll bet my job that we can be competitive, even while

Got No Gas: Your Jets At/After the Bye Post

Senor Weaselo - October 20, 2021October 20, 2021

Well, time for that time again. The part where we either laugh at dumbasses for being way too high on their team, scowl at jackasses for being pleasantly surprised at their team, or grimace at smartasses for being perfectly right about their team. That's right, it's time for the DFO

“Even Sherman Thinks That’s Enough” – The Falcons Off Their Bye

Beerguyrob - November 18, 2020November 17, 2020

The problem with following Senor's post about the Jets is that he used all the good words & euphemisms for "bad". But what about other teams that suck? The Atlanta Falcons surely qualify for such words, as they were in a Super Bowl as recently as... oh fuck it, here's the

2020 Quotables – Week 8 (Results) & Arizona Cardinals Bye Week Update

blaxabbath - November 6, 2020November 6, 2020

Lot of eyes on my previous and current home states of Arizona and Nevada. As a conservative, it's really despicable seeing what the Republican Party is today. Say what you will of the party and their elites policies and actions, seeing men and women who claim to have my values

At the intersection of Hope and Belief: Vikings at the bye.

yeah right - November 26, 2019November 26, 2019

image via. As recipients of the final NFL bye week, it's time to put the current season of the Minnesota Vikings into perspective. In all honesty 8-3 surpasses expectations eleven games in. Let's take some time to harken back to my team season preview. "This team can go anywhere from 6-10 to Superb Owl

Facts Crush Precious Delusions: 2019 Titans Bye Report

DFOing Good

Don T - November 20, 2019November 20, 2019

My Titans preview was an unhinged mash note to Marcus Mariota. I stand by it. Emotional stability is not a personal goal. The good news are that Tennessee is 5-5, which ain’t insurmountable in the AFC playoff race, and Mariota enters Week 12 healthy. And rested AF. [shakes head, lights cig] It was

Wangs of New York: Your 2019 Buffalo Bills Bye Week Bonanza

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 11, 2019October 11, 2019

[Interior. Press Room at the Meadowlands. JOSH ALLEN is at the podium, answering questions after beating the New York "Football" "Giants".] ANONYMOUS PR FLACK: Ok guys, we've got time for one more question. SNOTTYASS MOTHERFUCKING REPORTER FOR THE NEW YORK POST OR SOME SHIT: There's a chance you could have ended up

That’s…My Raiders? Our 2019 Oakland Raiders at the Bye

Bye Week Updates

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 11, 2019October 10, 2019

As I mentioned in the Raiders' season preview, I made a pact with myself to not watch football this year. I've actually held to it, which means that the only football I've seen has been the occasional highlight, but I've kept up with things reasonably well via gamecasts and fantasy

Go Home, Fate, You’re Drunk: 2019 Detroit Lions at the Bye

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 3, 2019October 3, 2019

[INTERIOR, STAGE WITH CLOSED CURTAIN. From offstage, muffled and slurred shouts are heard, mostly inaudible but include variations on "Not goin' outthere!" and "You an whose army, cock-knocker?"] [Eventually, REVEREND MAYHEM is shoved through the curtain and stumbles into frame, one hand clutching a bottle of brown liquid labeled "JJ Fozz

Huh…..: Your San Francisco 49ers Bye Week Update

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 25, 2019September 25, 2019

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES!??!?!? YES!!!! Friends, I have preached before at interminable length about how we live in The New Time of Wonders. Now BLEERGH!, Shan'khlor and the other Elderly Gods have seen fit to show us another Sign and Portent. Yes, it is Week 4, and Jimmy Garoppolo's bones and tendons