And then came the hangover. I'm still excited to see what the New Bills can do. And I'm still excited to see Todd Bowles stand up in front of the New York media and have to grind out the words "We have every confidence in Geno Smith as our starting quarterback"
Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
CrimeBeat!: Now With Extra Preservatives!
“Drafting For Character” and Other Spectacular Draft Lies
CrimeBeat!: The One With The Bourble
CrimeBeat!: Drafticipation Edition
OYEZ, OYEZ, OYEZ! The Honorable, the Right Reverend Electric Mayhem. All persons having business before this poorly-written, barely coherent pseudo-tabloid-news-show internet column are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the Chief Asshat is now sitting. God save the Commentariat and this Sport we love and revile. We have
CrimeBeat!: Celebratory Edition
Alright kids- turns out I am doing this week's CrimeBeat!, because my Dad ended up defying expectations and not dying on the operating table. Go modern medicine! I am exhausted and jubilant and incredibly pissed off that clients don't seem to understand the term "family medical emergency" when they really need
CrimeBeat!: Lesser Sports Week
CrimeBeat!: Thirty Days Has Smarch
Oh god. The nightmares. The craving. The soul-crushing emptiness for those of us who do not Sully Ourselves with thoughts of Lesser Sports. The Bleakness walks among us, fellow pilgrims. It's another month until the draft. Another goddamned month. There is precious little relief in sight. Unless Will Fuller does the
Robert Griffin III Signs With Cleveland: An Analysis
CrimeBeat!: Rob Ford Memorial Edition
Ladies and gentlemen, sad news from the sporting world today as Toronto Councillo(u)r Rob Ford passed away at 46. We here at CrimeBeat! extend our best wishes to his family, his friends, and his dealers. Due to overwhelming sadness, and a complete goddamn lack of any newsworthy arrests, CrimeBeat! will
CrimeBeat!: Booooooooooorrred
Commentist Beer Barrel: Homebrew Edition
Ahoy-hoy, fellow beer coneseu connisor enthusiasts! Make it Snow is out again this week, presumably hiding from (or fleecing) the locust-like hordes of street musicians descending upon Austin. Keep playing that utterly-cliche-acoustic-guitar-ballad, young Rian; you're sure to land a record contract some day! Brettfavrescolonoscopy, in turn, provided perhaps the most Zen