Your “HOT DAMN! IT’S FRIDAY!” Friday Open Thread

NFL Friday Afternoon News Dump: Andre Johnson signed a two-year deal with the Titans. As CBS jokingly put it, he's "one shy of the AFC South cycle". I'm going to suppose he catches fewer passes than Dwayne Bowe. Jake Long feels he's too good to sign an injury waiver, so

Your “THANK MERCIFUL HEAVENS!” Thursday Open Thread

NFL News You Can Use: The Jets and Ryan Fitzpatrick compromised on a one-year, $12 million deal. FINALLY, the Jets problems are solved. fivethirtyeight.com gave Fitzy's numbers a value for dollar breakdown and found him to be the best the Jets have had since roughly Ken O'Brien. I'm kinda between

CrimeBeat!: Isn’t This Where We Came In? Edition

Jeebus Cripes. As Albert Einstein (probably never) said, "When a man sits with a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. But let him sit on a hot stove for a minute and it's longer than any hour. That's relativity." And somehow the last year feels like

Your “Is There Going To Be A Test At The End?” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL Roundup: Nick Foles asked for, and got, his release from the Rams. He gets to keep his $6 million roster bonus paid in March. No word on if it counts against the cap, but it would just make something laughable even funnier. The good news keeps coming for the

Your “Slick Willie’s Back” Tuesday Open Thread

NFL Updates: Cowboys DE Randy Gregory is facing additional suspension above his four games already scheduled. At this point, 6-10 looks like a pipe dream in Jerry World. The [*Redacted] s are considering Greg Hardy as a replacement for Junior Galette. And thus Dan Snyder returned to his natural domain of

Your “The RNC Convention Hits Full-On Drinking Game” Thirsty Thursday Open Thread

NFL News: Ray Rice has gone to Plan Omega - if he's allowed to play, he'll donate his paycheque in support of ending domestic violence. A key part of that plan: getting a team to take a chance on him. Josh Gordon met Roger Goodell Wednesday, in hopes of figuring

Your “Is That All?” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL tidbits: Video has surfaced of Denard Robinson's car rolling through a stoplight and rolling towards the pond he was found in. You'll have to go to Deadspin to see it, because it won't embed. As well, the cops who let him go are facing internal investigation for showing favortism.

Your “Borrowed From Betty Ford” Tuesday Open Thread

NFL Notes: humourous in a "you dumb fuckers" kind of way, nfl.com has a long-winded story about why both sides are comfortable watching Kirk Cousins play under the franchise tag for 2016. I'm sure the season ticket base agrees with this logic. trading "dumb" for "sad", PFT reports that Ezekiel

Your “What? This Clown?!” Monday Open Thread

Evenin', y'all. Mom's on her plane, so it's back atcha with the north-of-the-border open thread topics. NFL News: Arian Foster landed in Miami. It's reportedly a one-year deal worth $1.5 million with $2 million in incentives. Justin Durant landed in Dallas, thanks to Rolando McLain's suspension. Even though it's most likely a

America: Home of the Freaks, Land of the Braindead

  “This is no time for ‘my country, right or wrong’ remember what that brought.” Lou Reed wrote that lyric, and I couldn’t agree more with it. I’m fucking pissed about patriotism in our country. Specifically, the way many of citizens take extremist stands on it – either burning an American flag,

CrimeBeat!: Better Never Than Late Edition

So yeah. In God's ongoing quest to drive me insane using ten thousand tiny frustrations, last week's best Crime News I Could Use came out an hour or so after I posted a disjointed bitchfest about how nothing good (for purposes of this column) had happened over the traditionally Target