Coach Zimmer Takes a Long Walk in the Woods.

yeah right - January 11, 2022January 11, 2022

banner image via [exterior Coach Zimmers' compound in Kentucky] Coach Zimmer walks in the front door of his expansive residence looking forlorn. He tosses his keys on the hall table and removes his Vikings cap. Coach Zimmer: "Hello? Beansie? Maria? I'm home!" A distant squeaking sound is heard and approaches Coach. "EEK EEEK EEEK!" CZ: "Beansie!

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 122)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 25, 2020September 22, 2020

The scene: The Wasteland of the post-apocalyptic future, where Brocky is hard at work, filling in dirt and rocks beneath the wheels of Doktor Zymm’s RV, which is stuck nose-first in the sand after it crashed into the desert. Brocky had previously spent some time digging PK out from under

This is Not my Beautiful House: Vikings at the Bye.

yeah right - November 9, 2018November 9, 2018

Before the start of the NFL season I had a few predictions for the upcoming Vikings season. "The Vikings are indeed loaded at almost every level but the offensive line is problematic as fuck. In addition the Vikings have a much more challenging schedule this year. I have no idea how

Tales from the Meteor! The Stefonimatrix

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - February 2, 2018January 4, 2023

Editor’s Note: here at DFO, many of us are not satisfied with the Super Bowl matchup. For some of us, this is because we hate both teams at a level that rivals God's apparent hatred for the Cleveland Browns. For others, our seething hatred of one team is more than

Historical Badasses: Harald Wartooth

Historical Badasses

The Maestro - March 23, 2017March 23, 2017

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about Peter Freuchen, Danish explorer, author, and political activist; this week, we're featuring one of the men whose legends perhaps inspired Freuchen to be the incredible man he turned out to be. This week's badass may or may not have actually existed,

The Bridge Over the River Kwater

Book Flies Open

Rikki-Tikki-Deadlier - September 28, 2016September 27, 2016

In the past, Mike Zimmer’s high regard for discipline had been a byword in various parts of Minnesota and Ohio. In 2016 it was once again in evidence, in Charlotte, during the disaster which followed the injury to Adrian Peterson. When orders came through from team headquarters to give up the

Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

blaxabbath - July 25, 2016July 23, 2016

You all remember this? Well those days are behind SKOL Country now. After two seasons playing outdoors at the local college stadium and $1.1 billion in new construction financing, the Minnesota Vikings are ready to move into the house that Dennis Green built. U.S. Bank Stadium, the first fixed-roof (though the ceiling is

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - January 8, 2016January 8, 2016

With Fantasy Football now finished for the season (boooo), the Mailbag is now transitioning to that of a grab bag - your sex lives can still get plenty of attention, but anything goes for questions now! Sports! Violence! Inventions! Whatever ya got, it's all on the table here. So welcome back!

Roger Goodell Visits BIRDMURDERDOME

blaxabbath - November 24, 2015

If you were most of America on Sunday afternoon, you were subject to Packers at Vikings on Fox. While it was one of the few Week 11 games that provided results that were important to the final division/conference standings, unless you were a fan of college football stadiums, the Joe Buck/Troy Aikman broadcast

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - November 6, 2015November 6, 2015

Was last night the most watchable Bengals-Browns game in a long time? I don't actually know, as I didn't get a chance to watch - I was busy being a good son and picking up my parents from the airport after a three-week vacation to Australia. Regardless, was nice to

Vikings Bye Week Update. At the Quarter Mark.

Team Previews

laserguru - October 7, 2015October 7, 2015

Well sir. This feels about right. A nice mediocre .500 start and the Vikings appear to be gaining some traction. I refuse to acknowledge the opening late night game because it didn't happen. I like to think that the Vikings all spent the night before partying West Coast style and the