Author: Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

God Dammit, America

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You really did it.  You elected. Donald.  Fucking. J. Fucking. Trump. As president of the United States of America. I mean, I just typed that.  President Donald J Trump.  Listen up, you stupid, mouth-breathing, closeted or out of the closet racists and cowards.  You have been hoodwinked by a master scam

The Itchy Brain

The Itchy Brain
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The NFL player awoke Monday morning with his normal headache, along with the typical aches and pains of a Monday after a tough game.  They’d lost, and played badly, and he was in a rotten mood. His headache was usually relieved by some toradol or some oxy, and smoking some weed

The Buttons…They Do Nothing

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The New York Times today ripped the band-aid off a long held secret.  The buttons that you push every day to help speed you along are nothing more than placebos, left in place to keep you docile while you wait for assorted boring parts of your day to go by. 

Has It Been That Long…? Open Thread

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Hey there kids, it's your Absent Stepfather, Darkest Timeline Zach Morris.  I was looking back fondly at the earlier days of this wonder site of dreams and wishes, and saw that the All-Star Game last season was our very first live blog here.  It really got me thinking about what

Bottom of the Beer Barrel

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As many of you know, I live in St. Louis.  Don’t feel for me, I may have lost the Rams, but I gained from having to root for them.  Anyhoo, the other thing that people associate with St. Louis is beer.  We are the home of Budweiser, even though it’s been

So Long Skip

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So Skip Bayless is leaving TV forever and ever and ever, huh?  Oh, he's just going to Fox Sports?  Well, 6 of one, I guess. Anyhoo, Skip Bayless, for those not of the work at home or unemployed set, is one half of the "screaming morons" partnership that has entertained morons

The “Oh No, Katherine Webb Has to Wear a Parka” Late Playoff Game Open Thread

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They're predicting freezing rain for the annual Cincinnati first round disappointment this year, adding to the suspense.  How will it happen?  Will AJ McCarron throw a back-breaking interception?  Will Marvin Lewis waste his last challenge early?  Will Antonio Brown catch 25 passes?  Will THE BEN harf his way into the

A Dispatch From America’s Worst City, Apparently

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"I've been around St. Louis and Missouri a major portion of my life,  I've never had any desire to lead the charge out of St. Louis. That's not why we're here. We're here to work very hard and be successful in St. Louis." E. Stanley Kroenke, August, 2010 As I'm sure you've

Football’s Rasputin: The Jeff Fisher Mystery

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Jeff Fisher, with records of 7-8-1, 7-9, 6-10, and now 7-9 will apparently be back to coach the St. Louis/Los Angeles/San Antonio/London/Kalamazoo/Wall Walla/Cucoumonga Rams next season. To put this into perspective, only two (count them:2!) coaches in NFL history have ever coached a game in a fifth season after starting