Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

CrimeBeat!: Meth-Smoking Clown Arrested at Waffle House

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Welcome again, imaginary Internet friends! Ohhh men. MEN! The offseason blotter is finally heating up, and CrimeBeat! is here with as many of the sphincter-clenching reality-bombs about the men behind the game we love as I feel like typing about while avoiding work. Joseph Randle got arrested again, but it

CrimeBeat!: For Whom The Bell-End Tolls

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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It was another boring week here at CrimeBeat!- no one went batshit at the Combine, there were no Fax Machine Malfunctions at the franchise tag deadline, but (as far as we know) no one punched, choked or otherwise abused a spouse or child, so....progress? In the great journalistic tradition of

CrimeBeat!: Seriously, What the S**t, Joseph Randle?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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It's C-c-c-c-c-c-Combine Week, bitches! So far, no one has gotten arrested or been struck by divine enlightenment in Indy, but it's early, so *fingers crossed*. In more conventional bad behavior: Joseph Randle CHARGE: What, do I have all day for this? Ok, so he doesn't fit quite so comfortably into the "Current Player" category

CrimeBeat!: Who Took My Slippers!

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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It's our second edition of CrimeBeat!, the Local Ace Award Winning series. It's been a relatively quiet week in terms of bad behavior by current NFL players, which is somewhat shocking given that St. Valentine's Day is often a particularly troublesome night on the domestic front. Former NFL players are getting

DFO Crime Beat!: It’s Always Stompy In Philadelphia

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Welcome to the emotionally-barren frigid wasteland that is the NFL Off-Season. While we will try to fill the void with obsessive draft coverage ("He's got tight hips! He'll never make it as a cornerback!"), dick jokes, methadone sports (hockey, AFL, based-ball) and intoxicants, we can't ignore the other hallowed off-season

Commentist Beer Barrel: Viewers’ Choice Edition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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Greetings, fellow drunkies! I was originally going to post the results from my Halloween Oktoberfest Tasting, but the notes from the evening are predictably jumbled and nonsensical. For example: BFT [Best Friend Tabitha]: Ayinger was smooth, like an old woman. So instead, I'm going to move in another direction: home brewing. Seeing

Waiting For Godot: Your Baffling Buffalo Bills Bye Brief

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem -
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So I gave my two cents regarding the unreliability of preseason predictions back in my Pats Preview, although my revised conclusion the God is Dead seems be holding in that TAWM TERRIFIC has not yet succumbed to Stage 3 Spontaneous Combustion. But with regard to the Bills, we all thought we

House MD DFW

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[Interior- Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Scene opens on DOCTOR HOUSE sitting in his oddly-stylish and expensively furnished office, playing with his giant tennis ball thing. Enter DOCTOR WILSON] WILSON: Good morning, House. I hope you slept well. HOUSE: [Gruff, insulting but humorous reply]. WILSON: At least one of us is. I have a