EXCLUSIVE: CORONAVIRUS CANCELS CHARGERS 2020 SEASON!!!!!!!

Life as We Know It

Old School Zero - March 13, 2020March 13, 2020

My fellow Winstonians, I come before you bearing the scoop of the offseason! In our present moment, where the sport-o-sphere is gripped in the fever of a virus of such power unseen since Jim Rome tried to eradicate his Clones, it behooves us to take nothing for granted, even the omnipresent

Chargers at the Bye: A [DFO] Roundtable

Old School Zero - November 23, 2016November 23, 2016

OSZ: Hello from the DFO Chargers Posting Brigade—me, Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, sunrisesunrise, and blackroseMD1. Having just watched Floatception Rivers re-emerge during the Dolphins game and our secondary get burned by Ryan Tannehill... well, my optimism for the rest of the season is, shall we say, waning. My

Scary NFL Stories: The Experiment

Old School Zero - October 31, 2016October 28, 2016

(Scene: a nondescript room with two doors—one far, one near—but no windows, and two tables and chairs. On one table is a large box with a number of switches on it, and cords running out from the back and through the wall, and a small television monitor and speaker on

VontazeMeBro’s 2016 Cincinnati Bengals Preview

Team Previews

Old School Zero - September 1, 2016August 31, 2016

Some of you may have become fathers in the last couple of years, but there's still only one of us that came back from the legendary Super Bowl orgy as a mom: the fantastic VontazeMeBro, now the proud mommy of a Bengals baby. I reached out to her for her

Sunday Gravy Without yeah right: OSZ Invades Your Piehole

Recipes

Old School Zero - August 28, 2016

As I groggily woke up at a reasonable West coast sleep in time, I realized I had offered to take the Sunday Gravy slot for today and talk all about how to make pie. My best intentions had been to set up and schedule that post well ahead of time,

A Perfectly Cromulent San Diego Chargers 2016 Season Preview

Old School Zero - August 17, 2016August 16, 2016

(This preview has been brought to you by Low Commander of the Super Soldiers, Old School Zero, and sunrisesunrise) Keenan Allen: Damn. This shit again. Brandon Flowers: Yeah, tell me about it. Hell, I don’t even think Rivers has healed up from last season yet! Philip Rivers: [Limps in on crutches, most of

Commentist Beer Barrel: Hair Of The Dog

Commentist Beer Barrel

Old School Zero - May 21, 2016May 21, 2016

Portland has been commodified. It started a while back when all of us super cool and better than you Portlanders talked it up to actual cool people from actual cool cities like NYC and LA and SF and other places that can legitimately go by initials that aren't their airport

First downs for Brady, Tom

Old School Zero - January 21, 2016January 21, 2016

OH HAI! I Tommy, I play foots ball! So excitement! Pretty wife put put out clothes, better change! OOO, SLIPPERS YAY! Now I ready to take bus to stadium, say hai to coach! To TEAM! TO GRONK! Wheels on bus go round and round, psi goes down and down, down and down! WAIT, STOP!

Counterpoint: The National Football League Is Great, By Trent Green

NotKontent

Old School Zero - January 12, 2016January 12, 2016

Hello, I'm current National Football League commentator Trent Green, and I read the article on your site that said not to buy any National Football League merchandise or go to as many games and just watch it at home, and I couldn't disagree more. As part of the National Football