Author: SonOfSpam

Slumbo Wednesday With Not Weaselo – Substitutes Are The Worst (Except For That Who Song)

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Sadly, the usual Wednesday night auteur, Senor Weaselo The Stringplucker, had an emergecy pizzicato party to attend, so you're stuck with the non-union equivalent. Fear not! I shall endeavor to guide us through this Humpiest of Days with a menagerie of mindfarts and wordvomit that should sate even the most

The DFO March College Basketball Tournament Preview

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It's that time of year again; the clocks have sprung forward, the potato-eating countries have been celebrated, and random baseball teams are heading to Southeast Asia to play our national pastime. Yep, it's definitely time for some Madness     no, not the 40+ year old ska band (but hey, they just put

Whatever Happens Now Is Just Gravy – The Indianapolis Colts At The Break

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What can be said about the 2023 Indianapolis Colts that couldn't also be said in the form of a gravy fart? I'm not sure, but we'll try to make words go together to form sentences anyway. After all, that's what literaturists do, and this site is nothing if not literatureful. So

Brackets and Madness and Watching TV While Working – The DFO NCAA Basketball Tourney Preview

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We've reached The Ides of March, which can only mean one thing: Time to stab your local emperor! If you don't have an emperor, then I guess you can fill out an NCAA Basketball bracket instead. Every March, the top 64 or 68 or whatever teams meet in a single-elimination

Madness, March Edition (or how I learned nothing about basketball from this drivel)

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Before we start with the preview, fill out your brackets and join us in the DFO Bracket Insanity group on ESPN.com by clicking here It's once again the time of year when, having watched about 26 minutes of college basketball all season, everyone becomes an expert on whether Butthole State can

Yay, We’re All Happy About Brady’s Seventh Ring – The 2021 DFO Tampa Bay Buccaneers Preview

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600,000 Americans died last year from a disease that kept them from getting enough air in their lungs, so it was only appropriate that the Super Bowl was won by the one guy who gets positively erect over "not enough air." Yes, Tom Dickcheese Brady (ed. note - did we

The DFO Euro 2020 (In 2021!) Preview: Hungary

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We’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have: Copa América Euro 2020 CONCACAF Gold Cup Tokyo Olympic Games And it all starts on June 11, 2021 with the European Soccer (Football) championships aka Euro 2020! Yes, it is 2021 but they decided to keep the name, ok? From now until the tourney

Brady Bunch in the Bay – The Buccaneers 2020 DFO Preview

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Our 2019 Tampa Bay preview focused on the team's nickname and the crab-filching faltching felching stealing quarterback. Well, seasons change, people change, but Tampa Bay's quarterback remains shady. Just in case you missed the news (and the accompanying screeching and wailing from the Greater Boston area), Tom Brady decided to

Cleveland’s Not Yet N Sync: Ain’t No Lie, Browns At Bye

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Remember when everyone thought the Browns would be good this year? That was adorable. They are 2-4 at their bye, and Baker Mayfield kinda sucks, and David Njoku broke something, and Nick Chubb still has a name that makes me giggle. Their coach is this random DUI mugshot: Still kinda laughing about Chubb. Anyway, the

Jameis and the Giant Zilch: The 2019 Buccaneers at the Buccabye

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So every team gets a bi bye, and the players rejoice (like they didn't joice enough the first time). This week, the Tampa Bay Buck-an-Ears get to play grabass off the field and not get CTE, which means I gotta fucking write about how they're doing I get to regale