Mascot Horror

BOLTMAN GROUP Presents – The Sound of the Beast

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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♫ Set to the music of “The Number of the Beast” from Iron Maiden ♫ GHOST OF JUNIOR SEAU: Woe to you, oh Span-oiiii, for the deal you made sends the beast with wrath, Because he knows the time is nigh... Let him who hath electric dance moves reckon the sound of the beast For it

Your “We Sweat And Laugh And Scream Here” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob -
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NFL News: Le'Veon isn't "officially" on the trading block, but at least the Jets have called about his rights. The Steelers can rescind his franchise tag & trade him, but would need something valuable in return, since they'd only qualify for a third-round compensatory pick that they'd immediately lose because

No Ones Chargers 2018 Season Preview

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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INTERIOR - ST. SOPHIA CATHEDRAL, LOS ANGELES - MIDDAY [A decent group of formal, yet lavishly dressed people sit in the pews as the funeral for Faye Spanos is about to get underway. However, due to the vast size of the church, the audience seems dwarfed by comparison. The organ softly

Your “OOOOOHHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!” Tuesday Night Open Thread

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?! FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT HAS AWAKENED BOLTMAN FROM HIS DEEP, DARK SLUMBER WITHIN THE BOWELS OF SAN DIEGO COUNTY CREDIT UNION QUALCOMM JACK MURPHY STADIUM, DEMANDING HIS DECREE ON THE DAILY HAPPENINGS OF THE MORTAL WORLD OF THE ACCURSED NFL! BOLTMAN WILL ASSURE YOU ALL THAT FERMENTEDBEVERAGEHUMANMALEROBERT'S MESSENGER MET A SLOW AND

San Diego’s Greetings: A Very BOLTMAN X-Mas

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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EXTERIOR - QUALCOMM STADIUM FIELD - X-MAS EVE As the sun sets on the city of San Diego, a lone figure walks from the home team's locker room of the deserted stadium at a meandering pace. A few lights flicker on as darkness falls, casting the field in odd, ever creeping

The Evil Dean

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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EXTERIOR - RAMSHACKLE CABIN IN THE WOODS - EARLY DUSK [The camera slowly zooms and then pans around the cabin. There is an odd silence, as not even birds or insects can be heard nearby. Upon reaching the back door, the camera moves upward, until it just looking over the roof

Stadium of Leaves – Nobody’s 2017 Chargers Preview

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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This is a collaborative post from the sick and horrible minds of Old School Zero and Low Commander of the Super Soldiers. You have been warned. [Up in the owner’s box of the vast, expansive, huge, massive, otherworldly large, Brobdingnagian, 30,000 27,000 seat StubHub Legal Scalping Center, DEAN SPANOS sits alone and looks out over the

[DFO] Archives: Electric Origins – The Birth of Evil

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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YAXKIN MULUK, 900 BC - GRAND TEMPLE - INTERIOR [The HIGH PRIEST stands before a glorious golden altar leading his congregation of hundreds in prayer. The square-shaped room is massive, with high ceilings and an opening at the very center showing sunny powder blue skies above. An entryway at the far

Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Rain

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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FEBRUARY 2017 - MIDDAY - INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - CHARGERS/RAMS JOINT STADIUM SITE [Three well-dressed men exit a limo and approach a chain-link fence, bordering a sprawling quagmire of mud] STAN KROENKE: The foreman is telling me that this rain may cause a serious delay. DEAN SPANOS: How serious? DALE KOGER: With the high rainfall so far this

A Night at the Opera: BOLTMANIAN RHAPSODY

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers -
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♫ Set to the music of “Bohemian Rhapsody” from Queen ♫ FANS: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cash grab, One escape from re-al-ity. Open your eyes, Look up to the skies and see… DEAN SPANOS: I'm such a rich boy, I want your sympathy, Because Dad-dy came, I will go, Pretty high; lots of