It's finally official. In light of the leaks, nobody's really that surprised this time around. Tom Brady is now officially retired from the National Football League. He entered as an unknown sixth-round draft pick, and left as the greatest player in the history of the sport. While it's true that I am
Tag: CHEATRIOTS
Your “Shoulda Been You, Brady” Monday Evening Open Thread
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #15
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. The NFL off-season is OVER and the regular season is under way for
TB12Tots: Your Guide to Safely Endangering Children
Hi, I'm Tom Brady. You may remember me from giving your asshole acquaintances from Boston an undeserved sense of accomplishment for the last 18 years. People ask me, "How could you, a man generally considered bright enough to tie his own shoelaces without drooling on himself overmuch, decide that it was
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #11
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. While the NFL season is over until THE SHIELD cranks up the bullshit
Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag Number Nine, Number Nine, Number Nine…
The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. While the NFL season is over until THE SHIELD cranks up the
CrimeBeat!: Patriots Schadenfreude Day Edition
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh dear...it's so sweet it should come with a vial of insulin...I though "ROFL" was just an expression.... Brothers and sisters, we live in an Age of Common Wonders. We can talk instantaneously to someone on the other side of the planet and we think nothing of it. We have computers
Your “Now He Can Screw Up TV Broadcasts” Tuesday Evening Open Thread
NFL News: In a "good news / bad news" type of situation, Gene Steratore has retired. And joined CBS as their rules analyst, for both the NFL and college basketball. Since he worked both for over 20 years. Besides Steratore, Ed Hochuli, Jeff Triplette and Terry McAulay have retired. Hochuli, shockingly,
Tom Brady’s PED Scandal, Part 4: Inner Circle
Two Things: First, A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain (Incorrectly) Second, Now, the last time it even seemed worth making a unique post about Tom Brady's ongoing cheating history was way back in January 2016 after the Peyton Manning-led (but
The Commissioner Calls a Meeting
Banner Image via Thank you all for coming on such short notice. With the conference championships upon us this weekend, this meeting had to happen at once. I think we all know that this has been an extraordinarily exciting post-season. Comebacks and rallies and heartbreak and a quarterback throwing a touchdown