The Masque Of The Yellow Lightning Bolt

I’m not sure why I went back. I can’t even remember the time between when I left and when I returned. I remember the end of the game—well, okay, more like the end of the 3rd quarter—being taunted by Raiders fans as I trudged out, cursing the powder blue #17

Week Eight, Broadcast Maps

Greetings, Week Eight is here.  Nearly halfway through the regular season. Here are this week's broadcast maps: Week 8, Broadcast Maps Primetime Games are as follow: TNF: Dolphins @ New England SNF: Packers @ Broncos MNF: Colts @ Panthers What, a fucking half-way decent slate of primetime games? Watch them all be blowouts.  Donks-Packers is probably

Things Dean Pees Does in the Booth During Ravens Games

Football is done in Baltimore for the 2015 season and purple camo wearing fans are circling M&T Bank stadium with pitchforks, torches, and lukewarm cans of Natty Boh Ice. (Perfect for smoothing things out when the meth is wearing off and your monthly check is on its way and there’s no booger sugar

DFO Prediction Contests Update – Week 8

Yup, we are down to two in the Elimination contest!  Who is left?  READ ON! Eliminator Challenge ($200 prize in cash or donation to Wounded Warriors) According to Berman, no one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills.  Also, no one fucks Senor Weaselo in the ass like the Buffalo Bills.  It seemed

Request Line: Rob Ryan’s Rockin’ All Hallow’s Eve

ROB RYAN: AWWOOOOWOOOOWOOOOOOO!!!! DFO TRANSLATION ALGORITHM: Hello, and welcome to a surprise midseason edition of Request Line! I'm your special host Rob Ryan, and today we'll be taking requests for your favorite Halloween songs. ROB RYAN: [mournful howl] DFO TRANSLATION ALGORITHM: I'd like to take this opportunity to personally apologize for the quality

Your Eagles Bye Week Review: The Walking Dead

The bye week has come, and the 2015 Philadelphia Eagles are dead. They just don’t know it yet. This team came into the season as a darling of media prognosticators and barstool pundits alike. The groundswell of Eagles support started as a contrarian, too-clever effort to get in on a team

Your Fired!

It's no secret that this NFL season has been generally unappealing. Through seven weeks, twelve teams have winning records (and five of those teams are undefeated) and a majority of the division races are pretty much over. Sunday and Monday Night Football programming has actually provided a pretty decent product -- including the Seahawks

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