Author: ballsofsteelandfury

Your DOGGIE Westminster Show Open Thread

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Nothing matters tonight other than watching cool doggies doing their thing and, hopefully, pooping on the carpet. All your details are here: https://www.westminsterkennelclub.org/ TV coverage is on Fox Sports. For all of you that don't know, Ryan Reynolds, my personal spirit guide, has decided to sponsor The Show through his gin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhoMJRuz0eA Now get to

Primer Sexy Sábado de Fútbol de 2020

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Hoy tenemos muchas noticias de las ligas de los países donde se habla español. Por eso, vamos a empezar hablando en este bello lenguaje. Y vamos a empezar en España, donde el líder de la competencia ha cambiado de técnico. ¿Qué? / pone el dedo en el oído Fiiiiine! Y'all should really learn a second

Dok Zymm – International Woman of Mystery – Chapter 1

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Author's Note: This series of posts is borne out of my firm belief that Commentist Dok Zymm is actually a secret agent for a nefarious secret agency currently unknown to the general public or even Congress. Her current job serves as a perfect cover to gather intelligence while her

Balls on…The College Football Playoff

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We just recently finished the semifinals and are eagerly awaiting the final and I don't think everyone is happy. This is where I usually come in. Let's just say the Balls-Signal went out. As usual, I will come in and either fix things or make them worse with everyone complaining about

Balls on… Miss Universe

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Some of you may have heard about the latest controversy surrounding the Miss Universe pageant and pageants in general. To be fair, the whole concept of a beauty pageant is, in my opinion, akin to the concept of a college football national champion being crowned by secret votes and

Sexy Soccer Saturday Morning Open Thread and Champions League Group Stage Review

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Good morning everyone! Today is the first day this fall without any college football! No, Army-Navy doesn't count as football. It's on par with Russian military parades and North Korean Dear Leader rallies as far as the propaganda machine goes. So, I am completely ignoring it and focusing on the

Copa América 2020 Group Stage Draw Recap

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The draw took place yesterday even though we already knew which groups most teams would be in. How does that happen, you say? Well, CONMEBOL decided to invite Australia and Qatar to this year's version of the Copa América. Yes, we just had one this year. We're having another one. This new

Euro 2020 Group Stage Draw Recap

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The draw took place last Saturday even though not all teams have been determined. How does that happen, you say? Well, UEFA decided to introduce a new competition called the Nations' League to take place during the FIFA International Breaks so as to give more teams a chance at playing competitive games