Author: Don T

Early Window Sunday Sub Job

Don T -
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Buenos días. Your friendly neighboUrhood Scotchnaut caught a case of the Real Lifes and is indisposed for posting duties on this most blessed (and kinda hungover) Sunday, may Gamblor be unto you. Let me wish, for those who partake, a Happy Fantasy Football playoffs. Your 14 weeks of blind luck

Become Revolutionary: Be Decent

Don T -
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Donald Trump is a proven liar, fraudster, sex assaulter, top-secrets divulger, and is likely a foreign agent. This declining and feckless creep cares about nothing but his money. I’d offer my condolences to U.S. citizens, but 47 is the president of Puerto Rico too. And we don’t get to vote

2024 Titans Bye Report: Hostage Situation

Don T -
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I hoped the Titans would reach their bye at 1-3. Well look at that: they did. They say: have low or zero expectations, and you will never be disappointed. This is airtight logic, a great defenCe mechanism, but a freakin’ downer. I prefer my wisdom with a side order of SOME

Roach at the Hen Dance: 2024 Titans Preview

Don T -
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About 20 teams dominate NFL discourse in all its manifestations, from yelling between fans to the hurling of fecal hashtags, and even “Letter to a Young Me” vomitives. By contrast, AFC South teams are the kids’ table of the National Football Lee, and the Titans are the stinky introvert who

Burying the 2024 Offseason – Sunday Night Open Thread

Don T -
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Stop all the clocks. Cut off the cellphone ringer. Mute all family chats. Program “Out-Of-Office” emails to run at lunchtime next Thursday, graffiti your church with C U in Fe  March, and make your fat clothes accessible in your closet and drawer because the time of sloth and rage and

Media Whoring ‘Fessing Up: Sunday Preseason Thread

Don T -
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Perhaps I’ve had occasion to express to you that I am a fan of the NFL. And I can no longer bear the weight of my secret perfidy because you certainly deserve better. So here goes: throughout the DFO Era, which will start its TENTH fitbaw season in a coupla

Saturation Saturday (Early Edition)

Don T -
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Muy buenos días, ladies and degenerates, minors without parental supervision, sociopaths all. I will be subbing this AM because King Hippo picked this weekend to cram all the continuing Donks re-education courses, per Sean Payton’s overhaul of the franchise into a constitutional theocracy. Hippo showed me some Powerpoint slides, and

2024 Copa América: Uruguay, presented by Marcelo Bielsa

Don T -
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Before elaborating on Uruguay, let me address The Thing for single-issue Uruguay observers: Luis Suárez, 37, is in the squad. Uruguay won the first three recognized world championships of fútbol early last century, and later the 1950 Mundial in Brazil. Those championships represent the four stars atop Uruguay’s crest: The wheat, of

2024 Copa América: Journey to the Extreme (Argentina Preview)

Don T -
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Argentina has Lionel Messi, the world’s most famous player. “Again!”, point out pointedly some folks my age or older who saw Diego Armando “D10s” Maradona play (197X - 1990). Sure, there are some folks who call Him the most INfamous futbolista, to which I retort: Pft [averts gaze, mutters] this guy... Haters

Subsequent GTD Reflections (Non-Union, Boricua Edition)

Don T -
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Hola fellow DFO'er.  Hope you're well today. And thanks for coming back even though GTD is off on vacation abroad with Mrs. Decision—Happy Anniversary Woooo! I trust they’re having a great time and enjoying a prime marriage event: being in international waters with no brood in sight. Slammin’. On the local