You Philistines Don’t Deserve Marcus MarioTa – Titans 2019 Preview

Team Previews

Don T - August 28, 2019August 28, 2019

A lot to unpack there! First, hey Fox: fuck you for the misspelling. I’m gonna speculate that the graphics guy was an older feller who thought “Sounds like Torretta, Ruthless Posse WOOO”, and didn’t name check out of self-satisfaction (“I can’t be racist, I know Italians!”). Too much? Listen, you misspell

Your Pretexts And Excuses Sunday Open Thread

Don T - August 4, 2019August 4, 2019

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There’s only a handful of Sundays left until the return of the massive zombie-in that is the NFL season. The spirit soars at the thought of Sundays glued to 10+ hours of NFL games, which gets you 48 net minutes of NFL action and a lifetime of rancor from “neglected”

Guay Referendum: 2019 Copa América Day 3

Don T - June 16, 2019June 16, 2019

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Today is the debut of Paraguay and Uruguay in the Copa América. Fish out of sand Qatar takes on Paraguay and the better Guay (YMMV) takes Ecuador. But let’s acknowledge the significance of this day. Via giphy.com Happy Vasectomy Awareness Day, reprobates. The smell of baby powder makes me squirm like a vampire

Bite Me: Uruguay 2019 Copa América Preview

Don T - June 10, 2019June 10, 2019

Lips near each other, no teeth showing: perfect form for a kiss. That was in 2011, the last time Uruguay won the Copa América. Incidentally, that was the last Copa in which Luis Suárez played. He will play in this one; chomp on that, folks. There have been 43 Copa Américas

Hot and Unstable: Argentina 2019 Copa América Preview

Don T - June 4, 2019June 4, 2019

Prodigious resources wasted by incompetent narcissists: that’s Argentina. But enough about politics. Let’s talk fútbol. In the last World Cup, Argentina had one of the more STACKT rosters but were buried under coach Jorge Sampaoli, a clueless diva whose main talent was out-asshole-ing himself. “Smurfs! I HATE SMURFS!” (traslation mine) In Russia 2018,

Losers No More! Champions League Final Open Thread

Don T - June 1, 2019June 1, 2019

It’s the biggest game of club fútbol and we’re getting the equivalent of a Vikings – Bills Superb Owl. "Can I deesterb you for a moment to ask if you would hold these two beers for me please", asks Jürgen Klopp to Marv Levy, for losing SIX finals. For Tottenham,

Bend Over for Banks? NEVAH

DFOing Good

Don T - May 18, 2019May 18, 2019

Once upon a time, until 10:00 DFO / Central time today, I was a homeowner. My Ex and I had moved out to separate places by the start of the 2018 NFL season. POINT IS: the home’s mortgage was KILLIN’ me. Christ what a scam. It’s the Herbalife of finance.

Round of 16 Open Thread: Porto-Roma & ManU-PSG

DFOing Good

Don T - February 12, 2019February 12, 2019

The Shempiens League knockouts start today! The tournament was meant to pit the European champions against each other, and there were several in the group stage. But now the field has been halved to 16 teams from the Big Deal European leagues, who play a home-and-away series to advance until

Dammit. Why? – Super Bowl 53 Open Thread

Don T - February 3, 2019February 4, 2019

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The L. A. Rams were a very fine team this season, then got the Super Bowl end of a really, really bad no-call in plain sight. Now the Rams are on the verge of thoroughly validating Roger Goodell’s sick obsession to have a team in LA. The other team is

Escape from 2018! New Year’s Eve Open Thread

Don T - December 31, 2018December 31, 2018

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I have been informed, condescendingly, that New Year’s is the only holiday about flipping the calendar. Yeah OK; going from December 31 to January 1 pales in significance to flipping the narrative (Columbus Day), flipping off the calendar (Pats at home in AFC Championship), and Everybody Better Love Jesus Day

Non-Union Equivalent “Hippo” Thoughts – Week 13

DFOing Good

Don T - December 3, 2018December 3, 2018

His Majesty King Hippo the Seer, First of His Office Pool and Evader of Chapter 7, was indisposed for this week. He received a bad "sure thing" tip on some cockfight in Havana, and here we are. Pipino (2018-2018) via Postimages.com Reports are that Hippo has access to his stash, he doesn't have