Author: Don T

Commentist Beer Barrel: Heineken

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Heineken is an amoral mercantile outfit that appropriated the Red Star. Still, please: put down your pitchforks and torches, because I like their beer. Per Wikipedia: Heineken Lager Beer (Dutch: Heineken Pilsener)—wait. Is Heineken a Pilsener or lager? The bottle says “lager”, which settles the issue. At least for me, because I’m not

Facts Crush Precious Delusions: 2019 Titans Bye Report

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My Titans preview was an unhinged mash note to Marcus Mariota. I stand by it. Emotional stability is not a personal goal. The good news are that Tennessee is 5-5, which ain’t insurmountable in the AFC playoff race, and Mariota enters Week 12 healthy. And rested AF. [shakes head, lights cig] It was

You Philistines Don’t Deserve Marcus MarioTa – Titans 2019 Preview

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A lot to unpack there! First, hey Fox: fuck you for the misspelling. I’m gonna speculate that the graphics guy was an older feller who thought “Sounds like Torretta, Ruthless Posse WOOO”, and didn’t name check out of self-satisfaction (“I can’t be racist, I know Italians!”). Too much? Listen, you misspell

Guay Referendum: 2019 Copa América Day 3

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Today is the debut of Paraguay and Uruguay in the Copa América. Fish out of sand Qatar takes on Paraguay and the better Guay (YMMV) takes Ecuador. But let’s acknowledge the significance of this day. Via giphy.com Happy Vasectomy Awareness Day, reprobates. The smell of baby powder makes me squirm like a vampire

Hot and Unstable: Argentina 2019 Copa América Preview

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Prodigious resources wasted by incompetent narcissists: that’s Argentina. But enough about politics. Let’s talk fútbol. In the last World Cup, Argentina had one of the more STACKT rosters but were buried under coach Jorge Sampaoli, a clueless diva whose main talent was out-asshole-ing himself. “Smurfs! I HATE SMURFS!” (traslation mine) In Russia 2018,

Losers No More! Champions League Final Open Thread

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It’s the biggest game of club fútbol and we’re getting the equivalent of a Vikings – Bills Superb Owl. "Can I deesterb you for a moment to ask if you would hold these two beers for me please", asks Jürgen Klopp to Marv Levy, for losing SIX finals. For Tottenham,