Hulkamania Meets Miami: Your 2025 Miami Dolphins Preview, Brother!

Wakezilla - September 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Hello, all my Hulkamaniacs! The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated, jack! Once those police body cams get released to Brooke, all the Hulkamaniacs are gonna see the truth, dude. Now, as THE Florida Man, I’ve been called upon to talk about my favorite team, the Miami Dolphins, brother. This

Perfection: Mercury Morris will cry after reading your ’24 Dolphins Preview

Wakezilla - August 23, 2024August 23, 2024

Dolllllllllllphinnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssss! Hey fellow DFOers! I apologize for the lateness of this post, and my overall disappearance. You see, Bill Belicheck was just a few wins away from breaking Coach Shula's all-time win record (Peace Be upon him) and I knew I had to act before it was too late. So, I

We have a semi! Your England vs Netherlands Euro 2024 open thread

Wakezilla - July 10, 2024July 10, 2024

Today's semi-finals feature the Dutch Ovens against the Tea and Crumpets, a matchup so significant that even the racists of each country temporarily set aside their issues with having non-white players on their squad. This will be the fourth meeting between England and the Netherlands at a major tournament. The Oranje

Your 2023 Miami Dolphins Preview.

Wakezilla - August 23, 2023August 23, 2023

Alright folks, I'm going to level with you. Over the past three weeks, I've had my fair share of mishaps. First, I injured my back while trying to stop ToddlerZilla from dashing off impulsively into the streets. Then, three days ago, I slipped and tumbled down a concrete hill, leaving

Samuel Eto’o Presents: The Cameroon DFO Slave LaboUr Preview

Wakezilla - November 24, 2022November 22, 2022

If you're of a certain vintage, there's a good chance you saw THIS goal when you were a kid and became a fan of Cameroon. As one of your resident Millennials at DFO *dodges beer bottles being thrown at him* I remember watching this goal and being all-in on Cameroon. When you're a kid,

World Cup of (Slave Labour) Croatia Preview: You will Nazi them coming

Wakezilla - November 16, 2022November 16, 2022

The last time I did a write-up for Croatia, I correctly said they would be a formidable opponent who would make a deep run in the 2018 World Cup. Many of us hopped on the bandwagon and briefly fell in-lust over their President, Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic, who seemed quite lovely, but

From Calgary to Qatar: Wakezilla’s Road to the World Cup.

Wakezilla - November 15, 2022November 15, 2022

Hello everyone! Unless you're an American, you probably know that the Lesser footy World Cup will be happening in less than a week's time. And unless you're part of the 0.05% of hardcore Canadian lesser footy fans, you also probably didn't know that Canada qualified for the second time ever--the first

A mediocre preview for a mediocre team: The Miami Dolphins

Wakezilla - August 18, 2022August 18, 2022

2021 Record: 9-8 (Missed Playoffs) Predicted 2021 Record: 14-3, First in the AFC East Predicted 2021 Record at the Bye: 9-8, just miss the playoffs. Notable New Additions: Tyreek Hill (WR), Terron Armstead (LT), Mike McDaniel (Coach). Thoughts: Honestly, there is no real reason why the Miami Dolphins should exist as a franchise. Since their

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Down, but Not Out

DFOing Good

Wakezilla - December 15, 2021December 15, 2021

I cannot lie. I was ready to bash this team and show pics of dolphins getting brutally mutilated in Japan when this team was sitting at 1-7. I'd probably have posted that video of Andy Sandberg yelling because there is no other way to explain how this team was sitting

Your Miami Dolphins Preview: It’s starting to feel like the 90’s again

Wakezilla - August 18, 2021August 18, 2021

Wazzzzzzup! Fellow DFOers, you know how pop culture is all about the 90s right now? Well, this Miami Dolphins team is starting to remind me of the 90s Dolphins: They're actually good! For the first time since the Taliban was firmly in charge of Afghanistan, this Miami Dolphins team looks