Author: Wakezilla

Perfection: Mercury Morris will cry after reading your ’24 Dolphins Preview

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Dolllllllllllphinnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssss! Hey fellow DFOers! I apologize for the lateness of this post, and my overall disappearance. You see, Bill Belicheck was just a few wins away from breaking Coach Shula's all-time win record (Peace Be upon him)  and I knew I had to act before it was too late. So, I

We have a semi! Your England vs Netherlands Euro 2024 open thread

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Today's semi-finals feature the Dutch Ovens against the Tea and Crumpets, a matchup so significant that even the racists of each country temporarily set aside their issues with having non-white players on their squad. This will be the fourth meeting between England and the Netherlands at a major tournament. The Oranje

Samuel Eto’o Presents: The Cameroon DFO Slave LaboUr Preview

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If you're of a certain vintage, there's a good chance you saw THIS goal when you were a kid and became a fan of Cameroon. As one of your resident Millennials at DFO *dodges beer bottles being thrown at him* I remember watching this goal and being all-in on Cameroon. When you're a kid,

World Cup of (Slave Labour) Croatia Preview: You will Nazi them coming

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The last time I did a write-up for Croatia, I correctly said they would be a formidable opponent who would make a deep run in the 2018 World Cup. Many of us hopped on the bandwagon and briefly fell in-lust over their President, Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic, who seemed quite lovely, but

A mediocre preview for a mediocre team: The Miami Dolphins

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2021 Record: 9-8 (Missed Playoffs) Predicted 2021 Record: 14-3, First in the AFC East Predicted 2021 Record at the Bye: 9-8, just miss the playoffs. Notable New Additions: Tyreek Hill (WR), Terron Armstead (LT), Mike McDaniel (Coach). Thoughts: Honestly, there is no real reason why the Miami Dolphins should exist as a franchise. Since their

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Down, but Not Out

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I cannot lie. I was ready to bash this team and show pics of dolphins getting brutally mutilated in Japan when this team was sitting at 1-7. I'd probably have posted that video of Andy Sandberg yelling because there is no other way to explain how this team was sitting

Your Miami Dolphins Preview: It’s starting to feel like the 90’s again

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Wazzzzzzup! Fellow DFOers, you know how pop culture is all about the 90s right now? Well, this Miami Dolphins team is starting to remind me of the 90s Dolphins: They're actually good! For the first time since the Taliban was firmly in charge of Afghanistan, this Miami Dolphins team looks

Your Tuesday, June 15th, Euro 2020 Main Event: France vs Germany in an “Alsace-Lorraine on a Poll” match Open Thread

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Hello everyone! I'm a tad tipsy, as I am currently watching Hungary play Portugal. (Hey Portugal, stop trying to get the ball to Ronaldo and start passing the ball to other excellent players like Bruno, the Portuguese Magnifico). Today's Main event is France vs Germany in an "Alsace-Lorraine on a Poll"

Sua prévia do DFO Copa América 2021: Brasil (com Neymar!)

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Hola DFOers!I am Neymar, and I am doing the Brasil Copa America 2021 preview. As you know, we’re on the verge of the greatest international sports summer ever! We have:Copa América. . . Well, maybe not with usEuro 2020. . .Well, it might start late, as Spain has some issuesTokyo Olympic Games

Limpin’ aint easy: Your (Real Madrid free) Spain Euros 2020 (in 2021) Preview

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iHola muchachos! this is your very hungover preview of Spain's chances in the Euros. I sacrificed my head to give you a top quality decent somewhat mediocre cromulent preview. The big story is more about who is not on the team than who is on the team. Due to injuries, Sergio