The Miami Dolphins at the Bye

Another sold out crowd in Miami

Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field.  I’m your host, Wakezilla. Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an

Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing

A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall – Dolphins 2016

  Hello everyone, I’m Warthog, you may remember me for such posts as... nope, nothing to remember me for. I mostly lurk, which is probably for the best. I'll skip the history lesson this time and get straight to the hard hitting analysis of the upcoming season for the Dolphins. Uhm...

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups: Chip

Campbell Comes Clean

Interim Miami Dolphins head coach Dan Campbell did not conduct a press conference Thursday to clarify remarks he had made the previous week, in which he claimed that during his days as a player for the Dallas Cowboys his appendix had "exploded" on a plane ride and that he had

America’s Wang’s Team (well, one of them) Dolphins 2015

Welcome to the life of a Dolphin fan. Not a dolfan. Keep your face paint to yourself, I just want to drink beer and scream at the TV. In real life I teach history, so my fallback is the old-man-on-a-bus-bench-with-an-onion-tied-to-his-belt-because-it-was-the-style-at-the-time narrative form. To those of you seeking insightful, quantitative analysis