Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field. I’m your host, Wakezilla.
Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an
/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing
As an older millennial . . .
/Wakezilla dodges batteries, tin cans and feces thrown at him
I was trained to hate MASH, particularly the theme song because it signified the end of two wonderful hours of Simpsons and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air syndicated episodes on CBC. Unfortunately, this song best describes
Do you like the national anthem controversy? Well then I have a team for you! In a desperate act to get people to stop associating their team with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Miami Dolphins have now become associated with fascism. Way to go guys!
Last season, Kenny Stills, Donkey Kong
Yeaahhhh Miami, I have to say I've been looking forward to this because I love smoking and hot women. Who wouldn’t want to play here? After an injury to Tannehill last year they brought in one of DFO’s favoUrites. I hope the cat hasn’t taken his laissez faire attitude elsewhere.
Scene begins with a view of worn down home in Vancouver. Is it a crack shack or a mansion? nobody knows. The door opens, to reveal Wakezilla wearing a white Cam Wake jersey and no pants. He waves to the camera and signals for the camera crew to come in
Hello everyone, I’m Warthog, you may remember me for such posts as... nope, nothing to remember me for. I mostly lurk, which is probably for the best. I'll skip the history lesson this time and get straight to the hard hitting analysis of the upcoming season for the Dolphins. Uhm...
Mmmm. Tryptophan. A hell of a drug. Hope everybody enjoyed their Thanksgivings yesterday, and kept the hand-to-hand combat to a minimum between yesterday's family gatherings and today's moronic Black Friday deals! Anyways, enough shoehorning topical #content into the intro. We need to talk essentials here. My takeaways from yesterday's matchups:
Interim Miami Dolphins head coach Dan Campbell did not conduct a press conference Thursday to clarify remarks he had made the previous week, in which he claimed that during his days as a player for the Dallas Cowboys his appendix had "exploded" on a plane ride and that he had
Welcome to the life of a Dolphin fan. Not a dolfan. Keep your face paint to yourself, I just want to drink beer and scream at the TV. In real life I teach history, so my fallback is the old-man-on-a-bus-bench-with-an-onion-tied-to-his-belt-because-it-was-the-style-at-the-time narrative form. To those of you seeking insightful, quantitative analysis