Your 2023 Miami Dolphins Preview.

Wakezilla - August 23, 2023August 23, 2023

Alright folks, I'm going to level with you. Over the past three weeks, I've had my fair share of mishaps. First, I injured my back while trying to stop ToddlerZilla from dashing off impulsively into the streets. Then, three days ago, I slipped and tumbled down a concrete hill, leaving

A mediocre preview for a mediocre team: The Miami Dolphins

Wakezilla - August 18, 2022August 18, 2022

2021 Record: 9-8 (Missed Playoffs) Predicted 2021 Record: 14-3, First in the AFC East Predicted 2021 Record at the Bye: 9-8, just miss the playoffs. Notable New Additions: Tyreek Hill (WR), Terron Armstead (LT), Mike McDaniel (Coach). Thoughts: Honestly, there is no real reason why the Miami Dolphins should exist as a franchise. Since their

Your Miami Dolphins Preview: It’s starting to feel like the 90’s again

Wakezilla - August 18, 2021August 18, 2021

Wazzzzzzup! Fellow DFOers, you know how pop culture is all about the 90s right now? Well, this Miami Dolphins team is starting to remind me of the 90s Dolphins: They're actually good! For the first time since the Taliban was firmly in charge of Afghanistan, this Miami Dolphins team looks

Breaking News: Wakezilla signs with the Miami Dolphins! (Your Miami Dolphins Preview)

Wakezilla - August 19, 2020August 19, 2020

/Scene begins in a press conference room in Miami. The media are already seated when a dopey looking guy walks up to the podium. Dopey guy begins to speak in a deep, but hoarse voice: Hello everyone, welcome to today's press conference of September 7th, 2020. As you know, we have

Your MXC Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - May 4, 2020May 4, 2020

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NFL Nuggets: Obviously, Don Shula's passing is the big news of the day. He was 90 years old. From 1951 to 1957, he played defensive back for the Browns, Colts and [*Redacted] s. He began coaching in 1960, and was a head coach for 33 total years, winning 347 total games,

The Miami Dolphins at the Bye

Wakezilla - October 2, 2019

Hello everyone! Welcome to the Dolphins at the bye—also known as the one week where Miami can’t lose on the field. I’m your host, Wakezilla. Since this diarrhea-inside-a-dumpster-fire-outside-of-an-abortion-clinic season is going according to plan, there isn’t much to talk about, except for two positive stories: Raekown McMillan has turned into an

Your “Holy shit, the Dolphins still exist?” 2019 Preview

Wakezilla - August 14, 2019August 14, 2019

/Scene opens with Wakezilla laying in bed, his two hands behind his head and his eyes wide open. Underneath the sheets is another body that begins just below Wakezilla's waist, with a head bobbing up and down. The bobbing stops and the sheets are raised to reveal Mrs. Wakezilla, wearing

Miami Dolphins at the Bye: Limpin’ ain’t easy

Wakezilla - November 15, 2018November 15, 2018

As an older millennial . . . /Wakezilla dodges batteries, tin cans and feces thrown at him I was trained to hate MASH, particularly the theme song because it signified the end of two wonderful hours of Simpsons and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air syndicated episodes on CBC. Unfortunately, this song best describes

The 2018 Miami Dolphins Preview: Where Hope goes to Die

Wakezilla - August 14, 2018August 14, 2018

Do you like the national anthem controversy? Well then I have a team for you! In a desperate act to get people to stop associating their team with Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, the Miami Dolphins have now become associated with fascism. Way to go guys! Last season, Kenny Stills, Donkey Kong

Offseason Qb Interviews! – Miami edition.

litre_cola - February 21, 2018February 20, 2018

Yeaahhhh Miami, I have to say I've been looking forward to this because I love smoking and hot women. Who wouldn’t want to play here? After an injury to Tannehill last year they brought in one of DFO’s favoUrites. I hope the cat hasn’t taken his laissez faire attitude elsewhere.

Your ‘Why don’t you just kill yourself because you’re already dead’: Miami Dolphins Preview

Wakezilla - August 30, 2017August 30, 2017

Scene begins with a view of worn down home in Vancouver. Is it a crack shack or a mansion? nobody knows. The door opens, to reveal Wakezilla wearing a white Cam Wake jersey and no pants. He waves to the camera and signals for the camera crew to come in

A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall – Dolphins 2016

Team Previews

Warthog - August 26, 2016August 25, 2016

Hello everyone, I’m Warthog, you may remember me for such posts as... nope, nothing to remember me for. I mostly lurk, which is probably for the best. I'll skip the history lesson this time and get straight to the hard hitting analysis of the upcoming season for the Dolphins. Uhm...