Meanwhile, in San Diego…

Old School Zero - July 16, 2015July 16, 2015

City Councilman: All right, this has been a full day of hearing public testimony on the issue of the proposed new stadium, and I think we have our last citizen. If you could please step up to the mic, mister... BOLTMAN! [pounds chest, a brief snippet of the 'San Diego Super

HR DUURRRRBY!

Sep - July 13, 2015July 13, 2015

The HR Derby is being simulcast on TWWL this evening. Due to technical difficulties, though, it is just a black abyss on the screen. My guess is this guy: And this guy: Combined to create a milquetoast singularity of suck that transported the Great American Ball Park and all it's inhabitants to

Human Interest: Local Man Identifies As On Fire

makeitsnowondem - July 9, 2015

Human Interest is an occasional series of stories investigating the whimsical side of our rich and diverse community. News 7 Reporter Sandra Santos: Turn on your television, tune in on your radio, and chances are these days you'll hear people talking about identity. But for one man -- local small appliance repairman

More characters from “The Room” seek advice

Old School Zero - July 6, 2015

[Ed. Note--While Johnny was the first to ask for it, the other characters in The Room also (obviously) need help as well. For reasons that will become clear, they didn't make it to print. We've recovered them from the trash bin, however, and now you can read them as well!] Dear Amy: I'm in

NSA Telephone Transcript #14B688UC11

NotKontent

Old School Zero - July 3, 2015

[brief ringing sound, then a phone picking up] OSZ: Hello? [No response. Background noise sounds like a large group of people talking all at once, as well as "Fly Like An Eagle" by the Steve Miller Band] OSZ: Hello? Who is this? [Still no response, but a voice cuts through the background noise] GET

Sunday Gravy with yeah right. Das Ist Gut!

laserguru - June 28, 2015June 28, 2015

As summer approaches (like we really have to deal with a challenging summer on the beach) and we are getting into the hotter months, we are running out of days to do slow cooked goodness. Summer usually means a lot less oven time and a whole lot more grilling time.Trust

True Detective, Episode One Thoughts (Episode Two Tonight)

King Hippo - June 28, 2015June 28, 2015

Good Jeebus Day, DBO Kommenters. As we look out upon the barren sports landscape (again, FUCK YOU SUMMER!) take cold comfort in that we have only 8 hours or so to kill until True Detective starts. Unlike Season One, it's not quite the creepy crawly mindfuck that makes one not

The Devil’s Advo-CAT

NotKontent

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - June 26, 2015June 26, 2015

[INT. OFFICE, DAYTIME] TONY DUNGY: [reading newspaper] Blasphemy! Sacrilege! This shall not stand! [DOOR FLIES OPEN] JAY CUTLER: [groans] Oh Jesus. I should have known. TONY: Jay, thank you for coming. Have a seat. JAY: Goodell made me. Said I had to come here and do an interview or he'd fine me. TONY: As you know,

Quickie: A Special Message to Packers Shareholders

NotKontent

Old School Zero - June 26, 2015

[Ed. Note--New School Zero sent me an email from the not too distant future--only a few days, in fact, but he said it was important. So, here you go!] Dear Packers Shareholders, I would like to announce to you today that I am a happily married man. I didn't plan on this

Meeting the Neighbours

ballsofsteelandfury - June 25, 2015

I couldn't resist adding one more post about Canada. Trevor introduced me to some funny Youtube videos done by friends of his that are soon to be turned into a show. They're pretty fucking funny. I think the Hockey Players one is my favorite. Enjoy! Yeah, I couldn't understand a bunch

Sunday Methadone Preview – True Detective Returns!

King Hippo - June 20, 2015

Good weekend, ladies (yes, PLURAL!!) and gentlemen of DFO. I write you from the barren hellscape that is North Carolina in the summertime, when I go from "normal recluse" to "mega recluse" mode. The heat index is goddamned 108 today, and it's not even summer yet. FUCK YOU, outside world. Being