Your “Are Duke Harry and Duchess Meghan Divorced Yet?” Sunday Late Afternoon/Early Evening Open Thread

Open Threads

BrettFavresColonoscopy - May 20, 2018May 20, 2018

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Photo Credit: USA Today Scene: Nottingham Cottage on the sprawling Kensington Palace Grounds. A beautiful woman and her ginger husband are basking in their freshly wedded bliss Duke of Sussex: Ay, love, this is the best. Just you and me and all these servants, and the paparazzi as soon as we step outside.

25 Questions About….

ballsofsteelandfury - May 25, 2017May 24, 2017

this: I am a young man of a certain age. That certain age means that I grew up under the threat of nuclear armageddon during the Cold War. I also saw the end of the Cold War and the uneasy transition to the world we live in today where enemies are

The Bachelor: NFL Edition

BrettFavresColonoscopy - April 7, 2017April 7, 2017

CHRIS HARRISON: Good evening, and welcome to a very special episode of The Bachelor. I'm your host, Chris Harrison, and thank you for tuning in to see if some lucky lads and ladies can find love. And our contestants are very lucky indeed, as they will be vying for the love,

Booth Review

BrettFavresColonoscopy - April 4, 2017April 4, 2017

/intercom buzzes SECRETARY: Mr. Berson? Your 9am is here. DAVID: Ugh, Samantha, I asked you not to interrupt me. :fidgets: How long has he been waiting? 15 minutes? Make him wait 3 more and then send him in. /looks down under his desk And you are going to have to hurry up if you

Chip Kelly Calls a Press Conference

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - November 16, 2016November 16, 2016

INTERIOR – 49ERS PRACTICE FACILITY - SANTA CLARA, CA [A group of reporters are seated around a podium, chatting among themselves. A large figure enters the room and slowly waddles up to the microphone.] Chip Kelly: Thank you all for gathering here today. I know that there have been a lot of

Colin Kaepernick Makes A Tough Decision

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - September 15, 2016September 15, 2016

2 WEEKS AGO - INTERIOR - COLIN KAEPERNICK'S BAY AREA HOME [COLIN KAEPERNICK is on the phone with his AGENT and is clearly very upset] KAEPERNICK: Absolutely not! I won't do it! AGENT: But Colin, if you don't, he'll cut you from the team. He's been trying to since day one! And you know how

Is Jim Caldwell Really A Pokémon In Disguise? A [DFO] Investigation

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - August 9, 2016August 9, 2016

Not a lot is known about Jim Caldwell. For example, we have seen him coach at both the professional as well as collegiate levels during his years of employ, but despite all of this, we have only known of his true form for less than a year. I am sure

Halted NFL Product Endorsements

NFL Sponsors

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - June 30, 2016

With 69 days until the NFL season starts, it's time to get back to focusing on what's important in football: #brands Through extensive research, bribes and the occasional sexual favor (I said I was sorry, Horatio!) the team here at DFO have uncovered these products that were expected to be launched

Hillary Clinton Gets a New Campaign Adviser

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - June 9, 2016June 8, 2016

[BROOKLYN, NEW YORK: HILLARY CLINTON'S CAMPAIGN OFFICE HEADQUARTERS] ROBBY MOOK: ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed at the Costco on 118th Street. But enough about my day off! As your Campaign Manager, I want to be the first to congratulate you on officially being declared the presumptive nominee! HILLARY CLINTON: Thank you,

Somebody’s Gotta Do It

... - December 28, 2015December 28, 2015

Owners Meeting -- NFL Headquarters Owners of all 32 teams are standing around the room conversing quietly. A palpable tension fills the room as owners wait for Commissioner Roger Goodell to arrive. 5913

Marcus Mariota Takes a Midnight Stroll

NFL News

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - November 4, 2015November 4, 2015

[Late at night, Marcus Mariota walks alone through a suburban park just outside of Nashville, Tennessee. He seems to constantly be looking over his shoulder, nervously.] Marcus: Come on... Where is he? [The bushes rustle loudly nearby. Marcus freezes.] ???: Quack quack quack! USC: University of Spoiled Children. Marcus: Quack quack! Stanford is

Somewhere outside of Jersey City…

NotKontent

Old School Zero - October 8, 2015October 8, 2015

Corn Maze Employee #1: I'm telling you, man, he was in there all night. Corn Maze Employee #2: Doing what, though? #1: Hell if I know. We closed up all the snack bars tight, and none of them looked disturbed. I don't think there was even a corn stalk out of place. #2: