Mid-September Sabado Footy Extravaganza!

King Hippo - September 14, 2019September 13, 2019

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Oh men! (and the occasional Nel and Dok visit!) There is some good stuff this weekend. And if you want to be primed for the full RedZone dopamine rush, you need to limber up on Saturday. If you want to wake up early and count the teeth (o/u - 60% of

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 1, 2019 Season

King Hippo - September 9, 2019September 8, 2019

Yes, we assemble together again. Another season, knowing the ending is gonna suuuuuccccckkkk. But there is familiarity in routine, and really, there is no substitute for the beautiful, mathematical violence that is professional football. And wouldn't you know - we get treated right away to a game like Fuck Lions/Qardinals (hat

JV NFL Sabado Open Thread

King Hippo - September 7, 2019September 5, 2019

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Alas, no Lesser Footy (outside the minor league/GAMBLOR realm). Doggone international breaks make my arse chafe. But we have a reasonably decent September slate to keep one sane-ish. Cincinnati (+16) at Theeeee Ohio State (Noon, ABC) As much as we would all like to see JV WKRP do a thing...I wouldn't bet

Sexy Footy Sabado – Marcel Brands Edition

King Hippo - August 17, 2019August 16, 2019

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Everton drew shit-ass Palace last week, while I was in Colorady. Yes, I got up super early to watch. No, I am not all angry about this. Everton got an away point, despite being forced into TWO changes - Andre Gomes (see later) injured, then DM Morgan Schneiderlin sent off

Learning to Love Unflavoured Ice Milk (Donks 2019 Preview)

King Hippo - August 7, 2019August 7, 2019

You know, call me crazy, but I have never been the world's biggest Joe Flacco fan. I mean, the memes are fantastic, but as a QB, he's pretty much a polyester leisure suit. Fit for these times? Not hardly. But a quick perusal of the remainder of the depth chart? ALL

Git Yer #BFIB On – Tis Midweek HATE Time!

King Hippo - July 30, 2019July 30, 2019

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As we wait for real sports to begin again, one might note that the Most Glorious el Beisbol Cardinals are tied for first in the NL Central. With the Bastard Man Small Bears, who come into #BFIB-land for a three game series, starting tonight. Not that it matters so much

Welcome Back, Mexico! Lesser Footy July Increases Intensity

King Hippo - July 20, 2019July 19, 2019

After a Xolos/Puebla Friday night opener, a whole bunch of Mexi-folk are in action tonight. I'm most interesante in the late showdown between Tigres amd Monarcas Morelia (who I like to GAMBLOR upon). 10p EST, on one of your local Mexi-stations, and/or Univision Deportes. Though I gotta say - Europe mostly

Down to the Raging Afrikan Semis – Lesser Moving Forward

King Hippo - July 13, 2019July 13, 2019

This is a bit of a footy desert for us degenerate #HAILGAMBLOR types. There is less to pick and choose from, so we tend to...force the #ACTION a bit? Anyway, happy me that Sweden, Norway, Finland, Brasil, Belarus, etc. are all kicking back into gear today. Them's is leagues I

Even MOAR Multi-Cultural Awareness – Behold teh Afrikan Euros!

King Hippo - June 22, 2019June 21, 2019

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That's right, fellow white devils (and jiminy Christmas, where is Big Black Richard??) - BeIn is doing Norteamericanos a big favour and televising the 2019 Cup of Nations/Afrikan Euros. Action kicked off yesterday with host Egypt (fuck off, Mo Salah) beating a game Zimbabwe squad, 1-nil. You get a triple-header on

Better Know A South American Euros Participant – Chile

King Hippo - June 6, 2019June 4, 2019

After penning an ode to Los Donkeyfuckers earlier this week, I had a bit of trepidation Googling "VICE news Chile" - alas, it doesn't seem like La Roja are famously into boning livestock. I'm sure my college drinking buddy Rodrigo will be heartbroken. Fun story about Rodrigo - at his 2nd wedding,

Better Know A South American Euros Participant – Colombia

King Hippo - June 3, 2019June 3, 2019

Hi, everybody. It's King Hippo, bringing you news of Most Glorious South American Euros. Today's preview involves the beautiful, peace-loving nation of Colombia, where the national team is called Los Cafeteros - because certainly, when one thinks of Colombian exports, one always thinks coffee. You may remember them from the last World

Prepping FOAR June – Last Regular Lesser Footy Thread of 2018-19

King Hippo - May 25, 2019May 24, 2019

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Well, it was kind of fun. Shit-ass Liverpool got pipped for the Prem title, thanks to their draw at Goodison Park. I don't like many of the results in the Champions League, but the action on the pitch has been pure Bananacakes (also, Come On, You Spurs!). But all must come