[EXTERIOR, Minneapolis] [Six bedraggled figures, backs stooped and all but one swathed in many layers of mismatched clothing , huddle in a doorway to try to avoid the worst of the bone-cracking wind. As the camera zooms in, it becomes clear that it is a family, with two adults and four
Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone
Better Know a Deity: Shan’Khor
It's time for another installment of Better Know a Deity. Sure, we all know the big names in the football pantheon like BLEERGH, BOLTMAN! and Al Davis' Revified Corpse. But sometimes a lesser-known god or goddess comes to the fore. (H/t to Thursday Sky Goddess). Name: Shan'Khor Nicknames: “the Merciless"; "Shankopotamus" (not
Commentist Beer Barrel: Land of the Rising Suds
Hi kids! It's your friendly neighborhood curate, Reverend Mayhem, subbing in for makeitsnow. He is currently...indisposed. So, let's get right down to it. Today, I am reviewing Hitachino Nest White Ale and Red Rice Ale from Japan. I've noticed this column trends a little heavily toward North American craft beers, with
This Little Piggy Went 8-8: Your Bills Bye Week Update
The Bills are 4-5 at the bye week. That's your update. Normally, I would give a pseudo-humorous recap of the ups and down of the season so far, filled with hilarious swear words and celebrating the pleasure-pain that is the Buffalo Fan Experience. There would be some mention of the many injuries sustained (notably the
Stephen King’s The Shanking
CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition
Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age
CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition
So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing
CrimeBeat!: The White Album Edition
CrimeBeat!: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?! Edition
CramBeet?: St. Swithin’s Day Massacre Edition
CrimeBeat!: Thirty Days in the Hole Edition
No time for love, Dr. Jones- let's get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PRESEASON MVPs CHARGE: Breach of promise OMG YOU GUYS DID YOU SEE DAK PRESCOTT! START HIM NOW! FUTURE EM VEE PEE! HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS! GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! /passes out, loses bladder control. Oh yes, boys and girls, it's that time