[DFOnline] A $20 million Video Game Tournament

MikeWallaceAndGromit - August 2, 2016

The task of describing what DOTA (pronounced "doh-tuh") is, and why it's such a huge deal in the gaming world is a difficult task. I made a decent attempt last year (in what happens to be my first DFO post) that serves as a good starter. The biggest DOTA tournament of the year,

Conflicted Feelings About Confusing Shit

jjfozz - August 1, 2016August 1, 2016

Christmas is almost here. And I don’t mean that fucking bullshit holiday where I spent a million dollars on gifts and hear my kids say, “Is that all?” on a Christmas morning that is witness to a thudding headache and dry mouth – because the holiday season calls for bourble. Nope,

Commentist Beer Barrel: Cocktail Hour

makeitsnowondem - August 1, 2016August 1, 2016

If there's any one trend in beer that I've been especially hesitant to adopt, it's the beer cocktail. When I want a beer, I just want a beer, not two or more beers mixed together. I want to drink the thing that a brewery carefully crafted, put its heart ans soul

Battlebots Recap: Episode 5

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - July 29, 2016July 29, 2016

Last night Battlebots pushed through the final eight matches in the Round of 32 to set things up for the Sweet Sixteen, which meant we got four full fights and four cut matches. Here's what happened: Beta vs. Overhaul Beta is a strange bot, in that its main motion is reminiscent of

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 41)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 29, 2016July 28, 2016

The scene: The launch pad on the Island of Professor Po, where Doktor Zymm, Yeah Right, King Hippo and Steve the Ninja all await takeoff in their rocket. Doktor Zymm (into the microphone): Mission control, start the countdown. Mission Control (via the radio): Affirmative. Starting countdown at five minutes. Doktor Zymm (into the

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 40)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 22, 2016July 21, 2016

The scene: Space! The final frontier! This is the voyage of the unnamed rocket that is currently propelling Professor Po past the stratosphere. But what of our intrepid DFOers, last seen valiantly clinging to the rocket as it sped towards space? Welp, they fell off. Yup! Sorry about that. Burned

Not a BattleBots Preview: Let the Wars Begin… Again

Senor Weaselo - July 21, 2016July 21, 2016

Evening all. If anyone wants to know who I'm picking this week on BattleBots, I've got Razorback over Ghost Raptor, Warhead over Complete Control (which they're showing an audio clip of which is making me nervous), Son of Whyachi over Poison Arrow, and Tombstone over Escape Velocity, and if you

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Live On Periscope: The Oracle Talks Free Agent Signings

Don T - July 21, 2016July 21, 2016

Kinda OK video of a well-lit, plain kitchen; the audio is loud and clear. Door Flies Open: …right there on the big toe. But in the end, odontology is more art than science, I’ve been told. Over here? Lemme just set the phone facing *Loud thud* I AM STANDING HERE AT

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 39)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 15, 2016July 15, 2016

The scene: Inside Professor Po's secret base, where the DFOers are scrambling madly down the hallway as the entire facility rumbles ominously. Doktor Zymm: Hurry! If zis is vat I zink it ist... Yeah Right: What do you think it is? Doktor Zymm: I believe Perzy is launching a mizzile, or perhaps a

BattleBots Way-Too-Late Recap, Way-Too-Early Preview, and Prediction Standings

Senor Weaselo - July 14, 2016

SAAAAAAN FRAAAAAANCIS… oh right, they're in LA this year, silly me. So, we are now officially into the knockout rounds of this year's BattleBots tournament. 32 robots go into the Box, one will eventually come out with the electronics of broken machines on one wheel and the Giant Nut on the

A Selekshun Uff Phrases From Recent Posts Zat Vould Make Goot Werner Herzog Moofie Titles

WhyEaglesWhy - July 14, 2016July 13, 2016

My Pitiful Human Experience The Familial History of Schizophrenia Your Absent Stepfather Lost To Iceland This Wonder Site of Dreams and Wishes Roving Packs of Ham Beasts The Dark Blood Ritual of Penance God's Ongoing Quest To Drive Me Insane The Last Time We Had To Suffer Tormenting My Dreams With His Insipid Chant The Most Existing Thing Kroenke's Mustache An Independent

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 38)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - July 8, 2016July 15, 2016

The scene: A dorm at Miskatonic University, many years ago. A young Percival Po, in a white suit and black, open-collar shirt, a bouquet of flowers in his hand, timidly knocks on a dorm room door. Zymm's Roommate (opening the door): Yeah? Whaddaya want? Young Po (nervous): I'm, ah...supposed to pick up