Your Parade and March of the Wooden Soldiers Thanksgiving Morning Thread

Because as we know it isn't Thanksgiving until you hear: "You have to stay with Barnaby, you're married to him.""I don't want to stay here with him.""Why?""I DON'T LOVE HIM!" Because March of the Wooden Soldiers (aka Babes in Toyland) is a timeless classic, no matter how much it's aged (and in several ways

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Fun Violinist Stories!

So, unfortunately, Senorita Weaselo was sick this weekend, meaning we couldn't go see Gil Shaham play Mendelssohn with the Phil. Which sucks. Because he's fantastic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQgjmMVqUPw Fun story! Actually two. Story 1: When I was a lad my youth orchestra went to go see him play I don't remember what. Anyway, we

The Voodoo He Do So Well: 2024 Stillers What-Have-You

Yinz already know I'm going through the "life transition," and whatever. I'll take my D- on this, and be happy not be exiled to Lowratio's outhouse for a fortnight. Between my work computer not having access to funny gifs, and my home computer is suddenly quite ill, on top of everything...

“How Many Times Do We Have To Teach You This Lesson, Old Man?” Or, Your 2024 New York Jets Preview

2023 PREDICTION: 10-7, no playoffs due to shitting the bed in Foxboro. REALITY: 7-10, no playoffs, but hey, they sent Hoodie off with a loss and got to keep their first, because… yeah… The New York Jets may or may not be a football team. Sure, at one time they were, culminating

25 Questions About….

This: Just so you know, this was being passed around in the Clubhouse and several DFOers had ... questions. I volunteered to write this up as a post and since multiple people were involved in the discussion, I'm going to include the person responsible for each question. Strap yourselves in. Phrasing. DFO has

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: I Already Posted the Stravinsky…

Otherwise more riots, woo! (I’ll save it for April because the premiere was in April.) Instead we have news, which isn’t riots. -Jets fans actually bought Mike Williams a Taylor ham, egg, and cheese, and had it delivered to 1 Jets Drive. And it worked, considering he signed a one-year deal. (I’ll be

By Popular Demand: College Football Realignment

Welcome to a new series in which I take your post ideas and run with them. Today's topic: College Football Realignment. I am nothing if not a people pleaser.  Due to popular demand (yes, Blax is popular!), I am presenting you with my HOT TAEK on college football realignment. As I was prepping

Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Welcome to the Nadir

Believe it or not, we at [Door Flies Open] haven't officially welcomed you to the offseason yet. So, uh, welcome to the offseason! We've got a veritable smorgasbord of things in the horizon, such as: -Better Know a Smarch Smadness region (not including St. John's as they continue their annual 21st

YOUR 2024 AVN Awards Winners! (And Open Thread)

Last time, I presented to you the list of nominees along with my picks for the winners. It's time to find out how well I did. I don't want this post to be War and Peace long, so I'll simply recap my pick, announce the winner, and provide commentary and a

YOUR 2024 AVN Awards Nominees

Yes, it's that time of year again! My, how time flies! This year, the awards are being held at Resorts World in lovely Las Vegas, Nevada on Saturday, January 27 at 9 PM. You can buy tickets here. Tickets start at $168, which is amazing considering the face value of my ticket

Requiem for the Bears — A 2023 Musical Season to Date Retrospective

The Bears Bye Week isn't until Week 13 this year, which seems almost cruel given how much Bearsenscheisse we've witnessed this season (both the self inflicted and cruel twists of injury fate kind). So why not recap the year to date in song. Maybe get in the right mood/cadence with

Party On…Forever!

Banner Image from Tenor Interior, a large apartment festooned with festive fall furnishings and frills. Beneath a hastily hoisted Happy Halloween sign there be a bevy of buzzing Barbies beating back beverages to blur their bashfulness. It's a Halloween party, for sure, but while the decor, costumes, and TikTok-inspired scarecuterie boards