NFL News: The Raiders have officially filed their relocation papers with the League. According to Yelp, the second best, but closest, moving company to the O.co is West Coast Moving Systems. They have a three-hour guaranteed response time, and proudly advertise having moved Gary Payton. This seems right up Mark
Tag: CrimeBeat!
CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition
Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth canal of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like
Everyone on the Internet is wrong: A Balls Wild Card Preview
As you already know, we have four games this weekend. That much there is no argument about. As to who will win, that's where we get into a bit of a gray area. How gray? Despair not, dear friends, as I'm here to dispel Wild Card myths. I'm also here to
CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone
CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition
Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age
CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition
So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing
CrimeBeat!: The White Album Edition
CrimeBeat!: DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?!?! Edition
CramBeet?: St. Swithin’s Day Massacre Edition
CrimeBeat!: Thirty Days in the Hole Edition
No time for love, Dr. Jones- let's get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PRESEASON MVPs CHARGE: Breach of promise OMG YOU GUYS DID YOU SEE DAK PRESCOTT! START HIM NOW! FUTURE EM VEE PEE! HOW BOUT THEM COWBOYS! GGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! /passes out, loses bladder control. Oh yes, boys and girls, it's that time