/closes eyes, pinches bridge of nose, puffs out cheeks and blows out breath. Ok. Ok. You can do this, Mayhem. //opens eyes, stares at the gaunt, haunted face in the mirror. It's going to be fine. You can make lemonade. You can make a silk purse. You can be a lawyer and politics
Tag: CrimeBeat!
CrimeBeat!: Giving Up the Gun Edition
[Note From The "Author": pursuant to a number of comments across multiple posts, CrimeBeat! will officially be a politics-free zone until things calm the fuck down. I trust that you are all (mostly) intelligent adults who understand the responsibility to keep yourselves informed and participate in the political process. I
Your “THIS is League Stability?”Thursday Night Open Thread
NFL News: The Raiders have officially filed their relocation papers with the League. According to Yelp, the second best, but closest, moving company to the O.co is West Coast Moving Systems. They have a three-hour guaranteed response time, and proudly advertise having moved Gary Payton. This seems right up Mark
CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition
Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth canal of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like
Everyone on the Internet is wrong: A Balls Wild Card Preview
As you already know, we have four games this weekend. That much there is no argument about. As to who will win, that's where we get into a bit of a gray area. How gray? Despair not, dear friends, as I'm here to dispel Wild Card myths. I'm also here to
CrimeBeat! Triumphant Return Edition
Oh men. MEN! I apologize, from the deepest cockles of my heart, for the no-doubt-emotionally-devastating wasteland that your lives have been during the prolonged hiatus of CrimeBeat! But fear not, sinners, for the Right Reverend is here to give you succor. (Note: sorry for the format- doing this from my phone
CrimeBeat!: Death to the Mortals! Edition
Friends, Halloween is upon us. And to be frank, it's perhaps the most depressing holiday on the calendar for the precise life-space-time coordinates I currently inhabit. I'm 35. I'm happily married and have no kids. And that's the hole in the donut for Halloween. Age 1-13: Dress up and get candy. Age
CrimeBeat!: Peter Pantsless Edition
So here we are. We are here. And that's a shame, because on a bright, shiny Fall day we should not be indoors, chained to our computers like slaves to their oars in a Roman galley. We should be outside, feeling the cool air of Mother Nature's Menstrual Period rushing
