Bills Mafia/F-ck LioUns Game Thread

King Hippo - November 24, 2022

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Hello, I am your substiture teacher, preacher, anything you haaaadddd in mind. I am only #FirstPill in, on this blessed Native American Slaughter Day. But it's windows open weather down Cakalaky Way, the cats are sleeping peacefully, and my house is silent. LET'S FUCKING GO, Y'ALL! Bills (-9.5) at LioUns (12:30,

Football’s Sh***iest Cosplay: Your 2020 Detroit Lions Season Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 4, 2020September 4, 2020

Hot Taek: The Detroit Lions are perhaps the most consistently DFO Team in the league. Why? Schadenfreude. They jettisoned Jim Caldwell for the sin of going 9-7 in consecutive years. At that point, they hired Matt Patricia from the Patriots. Bob Quinn had been hired from the Greatriots in 2016 and

Go Home, Fate, You’re Drunk: 2019 Detroit Lions at the Bye

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - October 3, 2019October 3, 2019

[INTERIOR, STAGE WITH CLOSED CURTAIN. From offstage, muffled and slurred shouts are heard, mostly inaudible but include variations on "Not goin' outthere!" and "You an whose army, cock-knocker?"] [Eventually, REVEREND MAYHEM is shoved through the curtain and stumbles into frame, one hand clutching a bottle of brown liquid labeled "JJ Fozz

Pissing Up God’s Flagpole: Your 2019 Detroit Lions Preview

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 4, 2019September 4, 2019

[Author's Note: So this is it. The End. The final preview before the NFL meat grinder spins up to turn convert the bodies of healthy(ish) young men into Entertainment. Après moi le déluge de merde. Get hype.] Wyandotte. Shit. I'm only in Wyandotte. Every time, I think I'm going to wake up back in Midtown.... Everyone

A Greatly Uninformed 2016 Detroit Lions Preview

Cuntler - August 31, 2016August 31, 2016

Head Coach: Jim Caldwell, baby! Key Players: Matthew Stafford (QB), Golden Tate (WR), Marvin Jones (WR), Ameer Abdullah (RB), DeAndre Levy (LB), Ezekiel Ansah (DE) Key Losses/Suspensions: MEGATRON. Nothing else matters. Notable Draft Picks: Taylor Decker (OT, Ohio State), A'Shawn Robinson (DT, Alabama), Graham Glasgow (C, Michigan), Miles Killebrew (Southern Utah) Notable Free Agent Signings:

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - December 18, 2015December 18, 2015

Star Wars is out today. I AM READY TO SHIT MY DICK. I rewatched the original trilogy all this week to get myself hyped. (Obviously not the new ones though. I may be younger than some of you all, but I'm not a dumbass. At least, not a gigantic one.)

Lions Clean House: Caldwell Stands Still, Keeps Job

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris - November 5, 2015November 5, 2015

The Detroit Lions cleaned up a part of the house today, firing GM Martin Mayhew and team president Tom Lewand in a sweep of their "football operations". Why was Jim Caldwell retained? He's a MASTER OF DISGUISE! Jim Caldwell has the uncanny ability to stand perfectly motionless, meaning that if this coaching

Start Or Sit (On Your Face): The DFO Fantasy/Sex Mailbag

The Maestro - October 16, 2015October 15, 2015

So a lot of things coming up ahead this week. Cowboys have ditched Doopy Pantz for Matt Cassel, the Bears play the Lions to figure out who sucks worse, Aaron Rodgers gets to continue his reign of terror against a Chargers team that got gut-punched by Le'Veon Bell on Monday...

Thursday Night Preseason “Action”

WCS - August 20, 2015August 20, 2015

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In a pair of match-ups truly worthy of what we've come to expect from Thursday Night Football, tonight we're "treated" to Washington and Detroit at 7:30, and the "marquee" game of The Factory of Sadness against everyone's favorite pussytubing coach and his collection of quarterbacks who somehow are still on