Through Which Open Door Should You Go?

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 17, 2018

For many fantasy football players that aren't me, this is a huge week. And for many real football players that aren't in northern California, it's an even yuuuger week. I'm talking, of course, about the winter solstice. Oh, and fantasy football championships, and playoff hunts, and end of the year discussions

Yinzer Morons Bye Week Who Cares

WCS - October 19, 2018October 19, 2018

After six games, does anyone really know what this team is? They've been run over by Bawler, tore HOTLANTA apart by the sinew, and tied against the freaking Browns. THE BEN has either been the probable Hall-Of-Famer he most likely is on good days, and looking more like Nate Peterman on

Welcome New Commentists! Or, I have to do what now?

ballsofsteelandfury - September 6, 2018August 31, 2018

Hello new person! Last year, tWBS drew the short straw and did the introductory post to any of you that are just now discovering our little corner of the world. BTW, DFO is ranked in the 400,000s in terms of websites around the world, so that's... something! We do know we

HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WCS - August 9, 2018August 9, 2018

333

WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

2018 Tradition Like Any Other Preview and Afternoon Livethread

WCS - April 5, 2018April 5, 2018

We just finished the NCAA Tournament. I bet you're asking yourself, "Where can I get more Jim Nantz? I can't wait all the way to the start of the NFL season to hear his velvety voice!" This is you, right? No? Yes, it's The Masters. Golf's biggest event, and it's most self-serving.

Your Lazy Saturday morning open thread

ballsofsteelandfury - March 24, 2018

100

Man, there is really nothing to do today except workout, laundry, and sleep. Fuck tanning. If you want skin cancer, go for it. The soccer slate is relatively empty as all the leagues are off due to this weekend being a FIFA Friendly weekend and a ton of national teams are either

Let’s Take a Field Trip!

BrettFavresColonoscopy - January 3, 2018January 2, 2018

Banner image via some random ass site Scene: A large industrial footprint that, come on, you can read the banner image, right? Clearly we're at a recycling facility. Let's say it's north of New York for proximity to the NFL offices and because where exactly doesn't matter. It's fiction, just suspend

Some Bears Have to Say Bye–2017 Bears Bye Week Update

Funny that the original url calls this a "snap image"

Bye Week Updates

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 8, 2017November 8, 2017

Scene: Once again, two large(ish) men speak in hushed tones as they walk together, this time deep in the woods of Utica, IL, cutting a trail through a state park. They are a study in contrasts, physically and verbally, though both appear prepared for a long journey, massive backpacks hugging their

2017 Quotables — Week 8 Results

Ball already across the line? Touchdown Seahawks!

Quotables

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 3, 2017November 3, 2017

SCENE: Deep in the #Content mines of DFO, a group of trained monkeys--I mean DFO writers--are shackled to their typewriters. Someone gave tWBS a laptop once, and after that, no one was issued a wifi-enabled device ever again. Quietly, nearly imperceptibly, YEAHRIGHT and SHOGUN MARCUS begin whispering to each other,

HRTN: Moving Day

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 13, 2017October 13, 2017

The scene: The Secret Base on the Island of Doktor Zymm! Specifically, right outside of the secret base, where there's a yard sale in progress. Ninjas and techs are looking through the variety of toasters, clocks, beakers, centrifuges, weights, televisions... Marc Trestmans Windowless Van is sitting at a table with

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 97)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 29, 2017September 28, 2017

The scene: The Iguana Mart of the Future! While the rest of the DFO has been up to their ears in trouble, Low Commander has been gathering up supplies and is now in a checkout line with a yuuuge cart full of future-stuff. Warblefunk is playing over the sound system.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 96)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 22, 2017September 21, 2017

The scene: The future! A time centuries from now, when mankind has survived countless wars, disasters and Zymm-related incidents to...well, maybe not thrive, exactly. I mean, it's more like mankind is still kicking around on a planet that's become pretty darn weird. Until recently Emperor Moose ruled with an iron