So whose it gonna be? Whose luck finally runs out when the Browns turn in their draft index card thingy? Is it going to be Myles Garrett, the three-year star out of Texas A&M, who averaged over ten sacks and two forced fumbles a season? The 6'4", 272-pound nightmare fuel who
Tag: Reverend Mayhem
CrimeBeat!: Bat Country Edition
No time for love, Dr. Jones- let's get right down to it. BRING FORTH THE ACCUSED! PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA CHARGE: Indecent exposure With apologies to WhyEaglesWhy. Can you hear it? Can you hear the low, menacing rumble, like a thousand Peter Kings' stomaches in an Acela™ Quiet Car? That's the sound of the City of
CrimeBeat!: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Edition
CrimeBeat!: Gift Horse Edition Part I
CrimeBeat!: Breaking News Edition
WE NOW INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED "HARD RIDE TO NOWHERE" TO BRING YOU THIS SPECIAL REPORT: Ladies and gentlemen, good evening. I have the solemn duty to inform you that at 4:42 p.m., DFO Substandard Time on February 16, an unscheduled Jets Schadenfreude Day was launched from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Reports are still
Better Know A Guy Who’s Going To Screw Up Your Franchise For The Next 2-4 Years: Aftermath Edition
Whelp, the NFL Head Coaching Carousel appears to have come to a screeching halt with Kyle Shanahan's coronation as 49er's head "coach". Unless, of course, Jim Irsay reawakens from one of his quaalude-induced power naps and drops the hammer on Chuck Pagano. So: who is going to be the albatross around
CrimeBeat!: Whistling Past the Graveyard Edition
Free Ballin’ Football Podcast: Superb Owl Edition
[Editor's Note: Bill from Free Ballin' asked for a guest bloggy-post to introduce this week's episode, and he handed over the keys to Reverend Mayhem. God help them.] [soundcloud url="https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/305690620" params="auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%" height="450" iframe="true" /] Men. MEN! It's the last week of the season! Normally, this is a time for us to
Celebrity Superb Owl Picks: Sean Spicer
COWARDLY MEDIA WHORE TRADING JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY FOR ACCESS: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Tonight, we turn to a somewhat lighter topic than normal: picking the winner of the upcoming Super Bowl. With us tonight is professional faux-liberal doormat Alan Colmes... COLMES: Thank you. I'm just so happy to be... WHORE: And
End Times
And they worshiped the Beast, saying, "Who is like unto the Beast? Who can make war with him?" -Revelations 13:4
CrimeBeat!: Giving Up the Gun Edition
[Note From The "Author": pursuant to a number of comments across multiple posts, CrimeBeat! will officially be a politics-free zone until things calm the fuck down. I trust that you are all (mostly) intelligent adults who understand the responsibility to keep yourselves informed and participate in the political process. I
CrimeBeat!: Guess Who’s Rewatching Archer Edition
Oh men. MEN! Like fetuses (feti?) experiencing the uncomprehending trauma and struggle of their own nativity, we have been pushed and squeezed and squished until we passed through the birth canal of the regular season and emerged, cold and slimy, into the pitiless bright light of the playoffs. And like