Have Your Say: Results From Our Inaugural Commentist Survey!

The Maestro - February 22, 2016

After almost two weeks, we've got enough input in from all you all in our first Commentist Survey! Below are some super-magical interactive charts put together based on everyone's responses. Note: these are interactive pie charts! If you're reading this on a desktop browser, then you can hover your mouse

VICELAND, Bitches!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus - February 19, 2016February 19, 2016

Holy shit, what da fuq is this now? H2, the History Channel's red-headed stepchild on which UFOs, Aliens, Conspiracy Theories, and maneating snakes (FAKE maneating snakes, that is) have come to abound, will diez a merciful death in merely 10 days. Now, I'm not at all saying that the sorts of programming

Go Fuck Yourself, Nelly Furtado!

Beerguyrob - February 15, 2016

A quick, partially on-topic aside before I start: if you can, catch the two anthem performances from the NBA All Star game in Toronto Sunday. Ne-Yo absolutely ruled the US anthem. For a guy who I thought was just auto-tune and better writers turned in a performance worthy of comparison to

Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat – Offseason Report #2

ballsofsteelandfury - February 14, 2016February 13, 2016

180

As I mentioned previously, it's been quite an off-season. Similarly to the NFL, the first major event after the last game was the start of free agency. That was promptly followed by the First Draft (yeah, I still don't get that but I gather that the second draft is roughly

Have Your Say: The 1st Annual DFO Commentist Survey

The Maestro - February 10, 2016February 10, 2016

Well, DFO, the offseason is here, and while normally it's a dark and depressing time for all of us football fans, there's reason yet to be positive: we're still alive! No but seriously, there's lots of good things coming up this year that we're hoping to write about on here.

The Son Of The Morning Star Shall This Year Rise In The West!

Horatio Cornblower - February 4, 2016February 4, 2016

Narrator: George Armstrong Custer was a United States Army officer and cavalry commander in the American Civil War and the American Indian Wars. Raised in Michigan and Ohio, Custer was admitted to West Point in 1857, where he graduated last in his class in 1861. His ability to estimate numbers has

The Super Bowl & Canadian TV regulations: so much misplaced nationalism.

Beerguyrob - January 30, 2016

**Ahem** In respect of my fellow Commentists, I realize this might be a boring topic to you, considering that “Canada” is usually nothing more in your mind than a lower drinking age and where your first boy/girlfriend came from. (I know him/her; they told me about that summer at camp. The

The Curse of Oak Island, Part the Third

Horatio Cornblower - January 17, 2016January 16, 2016

Oak Island is a 140 acre island located off of the south shore of Nova Scotia. For more than 200 years people of all types and backgrounds have searched for treasure supposedly hidden away on the island. To date almost nothing has been found. Still people continue to pursue the

Commentist Beer Barrel: A Thirst Artist

makeitsnowondem - January 16, 2016

When I run out of a beer, unless that beer is Sierra Nevada Celebration, and unless Sierra Nevada Celebration is still being sold somewhere, I replace it with something new. There are a few other scattered exceptions to this rule, but the concept of a "go-to" beer is more or

H.P. Lovecraft on the Tedium of Relocation

Beerguyrob - January 8, 2016

(Because the relocation saga is equal parts misery & pain, plus the fact that Dean Spanos looks like Father Dagon, it seems only natural to combine the emptiness of Lovecraft's poetry with the soullessness of NFL ownership.) Despair by H.P. Lovecraft and Roger Goodell O’er the frozen tundra thawing, Thro’ the concrete stadia blowing, The

A New Year’s message from Kenny Rogers

ballsofsteelandfury - January 3, 2016

(You are reading this because Balls of Steel is a horrible gambler and decided that Blake fucking Bortles actually had a chance against the Mighty Hoyer Country.) Kids, gather 'round ole Kenny. I'm gonna tell ya 'bout the man that taught me everything I know about bettin'. Yup, the ORIGINAL gambler

The Curse of Oak Island, Part The First

Horatio Cornblower - January 2, 2016