VaLOWntine’s Day: A [DFO] Holiday Horror Story

As the evening Pacific winds flow over the downtown high rises and push south through his Balboa Park neighborhood, a young man sits alone on his front porch tiredly waiting for his Valentines Day miracle. "Before all this," as seemed to preclude nearly every first-date statement he'd made since last

Deshaun of the Dead: Sunday Night Game Open Thread

So I've been on the road all day and have relatively little firsthand knowledge of what the shit went on this afternoon. A brief (aka halfass) recap after this important message: WOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ok. I'm good. I'm cool. So the Bills (WOOOO!) handed the Iggles a golden opportunity to pull even

Time Enough at Last

Jameis Winston, professioanal quarterback and player for the National Football League's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, studies the defense presented before him as he approached his presenting center. He sees the mike backer, jerysey number 66, cheating up then taking one step out wide, a sign to Winston that this defender will

The Devil and Hue Jackson (Part 2)

Part 1 --- "Good morning, Huey Jackson, it's time to rise and grind." The Devil's words come penetratin' into Hue's wrecked mind. So Hue sets down Mike Brown's laundry, cause that's his job these days, In addition to designin' passes for Andy Dalton to throw away. "Wake up, Sunshine!" the Devil laughs. "It's time to break

The Deadlyest Catch

On Halloween night, hours after the doorbell ceased ringing and the post bar-crawl traffic had evaporated, a man sits alone in his Los Angeles bungalow. Digitally penning his thoughts across a host of athletics message boards -- Deadspin, Reddit, Athalon -- he navigates his browser to his true pride and

An Occurrence in East Rutherford

Eli Manning: Alright Giants, play's a YZ Skipcat. Odell, we got you on this one. It’s a little slant but I’m gonna hit you high so you got time to turn it upfield. We still got third down to pound it for the first then. Odell Beckham Jr: You got it, Eli.

March of the Ram Man

We come across a man, our main character, walking across the Eads Bridge. His first name is Chris -- last name unknown and equally unimportant. There is no other Chris around and, as he is about to learn, “our main character” may have technically been a misnomer for, you see,