Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 52)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 21, 2016October 20, 2016

A note to our loyal readers: Here at the busy offices of Hard Ride To Nowhere we're sure to read each and every piece of fan mail that comes across our desks. Over the past year the query we've most often come across is: Whatever happened to those two detectives?

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 51)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 14, 2016October 13, 2016

The scene: The Door Flies Open clubhouse. A meeting is in progress. In attendance are Darkest Timeline Zach Morris, Ballsofsteelandfury, WCS, Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Sill Bimmons, Doktor Zymm and Cookiethulhu. They're sitting at a wooden table. It has the club logo in it. It's pretty cool. Hey, remember when

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 50)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - October 7, 2016October 6, 2016

The scene: Future Moose's bedchamber. It's still yuuuge. And Future Clone Debbie Harry is still pillow-fighting Future Clone Lynda Carter in a seemingly endless replay. Future Moose himself is searching the room, looking behind dressers and curtains. Future Clone Debbie Harry (hitting Future Clone Lynda Carter with a pillow): Tee-hee! Future Moose

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 49)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 30, 2016September 27, 2016

The scene: Wally's World of Waffles, where Future Clone Debbie Harry and PK are finishing off a 36-inch waffle. Granted, most of the ingestion was on PK's side of the table. And there are two empty syrup jars in front of him. And a few empty plates that once had

Your “All My Rowdy Friends Came Over And Wrecked The Show” Tuesday Open Thread

Beerguy Rob - September 27, 2016September 28, 2016

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NFL Notes: Greg Hardy has become more untouchable due to his arrest for alleged cocaine possession. So, yay! Dez Bryant ‘missed’ his MRI on Monday. Because injuries simply go away if you don’t think about them. Le’Veon Bell, coming off suspension, got the all-clear to resume practicing with the Steelers. Mike

Bonus BattleBots Recap: Rumble Edition!

Senor Weaselo - September 22, 2016September 21, 2016

So they finally posted all the rumbles (the last one took a week to repost because they fucked up the sponsor stuff in post or else this would have been up in a timely manner dammit), so hell with it, let's do one last write-up! Not only that, but you

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 48)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 16, 2016September 15, 2016

The scene: Future Moose's future palace bedchamber. It's pretty opulent. And by “pretty opulent,” I mean it's yuuuge. Like, seriously big. Think of the house you grew up in, add in your first three apartments, and you're close. I mean, there's a tennis court in here. Full-size, mind you. Hard

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 47)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 9, 2016September 8, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, hours after the NFL Opening Day game. The DFOers are still partying hard, because football is back! And also because most of them haven't been in the same place since last Moosemas. There's drinking, and dancing...well, not so much dancing. Most of the members are

HRTN Opening Day Special

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 8, 2016September 6, 2016

The scene: Out front of the DFO clubhouse. DFO prospect Cookiethulhu is busy sweeping up the street when Beerguyrob comes out of the clubhouse with a six-pack of beer. Cookiethulhu: I think that's it, sir. The street looks quite orderly now, I must say. Beerguyrob (motioning Cookiethulhu over): Good job, kid. I've

BattleBots Finale and Awards Blowout!

Senor Weaselo - September 6, 2016

All right, it's that time, for the last time, it's robot fighting time. For old friends, welcome back! For new friends, welcome to the final BattleBots recap of the summer. I'm your friendly neighborhood Senor Weaselo. We've been following this season's BattleBots since the competing robots were announced back in April,

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Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 46)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - September 2, 2016September 1, 2016

The scene: An empty road somewhere in the Midwest, where Future Moose recently ran someone over. That someone is now biting Moose on the arm. It seems pretty fair, all things considered. Ballsofsteelandfury (approaching): Hey, what the hell...? Future Moose (sighing as the man continues to bite at his outstretched arm): Well... Ballsofsteelandfury

Senor’s BattleBots Recap and Finale Preview!

Senor Weaselo - August 29, 2016

Greetings from a remote location somewhere. I'm your friendly neighborhood Senor Weaselo, and this is the thing where I talk about the robots. Better yet, last week brought the return of new episodes! Unfortunately my house doesn't have TV, I don't know if we have Wi-Fi, and I don't have

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